Date: Mon, 14 Aug 1995 23:59:06 -0700 From: Swordsister Subject: Crossover Nonsense Some random crossovers/adaptations/snippets of silliness, because Christine wanted something fun. -Catherine (catheboo@cco.caltech.edu) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=-=-=- ** FK/Superman ** The bed was piled with books, yet actually organized, in a bizarre sort of way. The classics were by her feet, Dracula and the like. Then there was the newer stuff, Interview With The Vampire and such, to the left of that. The slightly more factual necromancy was just right of her knees. Being a scientist at heart, the texts were nearer, biochem and rare infectious diseases at her very fingertips. Nat lounged in the middle of this mass, dressed in a long silk nightgown with an equally long matching robe. Her hair was thrown back behind her, and whenever she wasn't gnawing or scribbling, the pencil did its best to hold a bun. As she was leaning over to check something in the necromancy, she heard a rush of air, just outside. She jerked her head to see a blond head peeking through her balcony window. Her mouth fell open at the sight of him, then shut with an audible snap as she cringed, kicking herself a thousand times for forgetting that tonight was the night he was supposed to answer her questions on some basic facts about him before she started thinking of possible treatments. She looked down at herself. *Not* the usual officewear. She sighed. *Well, at least it'll be an interesting interview...* She stepped through the sliding glass doors, wrapping her robe tightly about herself. She put the pencil in her teeth, deftly spun her hair into a bun, then remembered she'd need the pencil to take notes with, and let her hair drop again. Nick grinned, and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You forgot." Nat took the pencil out of her mouth, and let her hands fall to her hips, smiling sheepishly. "I forgot." "I can come back at another time, if you want." The picture of polite concern. She nearly dived for his wrist, managing to just throw her hands out in protest. "No no! It's okay. Really. Let me just get my notebook, and we can get started." She ran back into the bedroom and snatched up her "Nick1", knocking several books onto the floor in her haste. When she returned, he wore an amused smile. "None of those books are true, you know." She smiled and waggled her pencil at him. "Ah, but you never know what parts they'll get right. We'll see if any of them end up being useful." Fortunately, she had had the sense to write down some questions before tonight, which saved her from staring at him. She bit down on her eraser, then said, "So, let's see. We'll start with your extra abilities first. You've got accelerated healing." He nodded, and she grinned easily. "Figured that one out all by myself." With her pencil, she pointed at the top of his head, and slowly worked her way down. She stopped when it pointed at his eyes. "Do you have any kind of enhanced vision?" "Mm-hm. I can see much better than a normal person at night." She frowned. "Like how much better?" "I can see colors where other people can't see their hand in front of their face." Such calm assurance. Her eyebrows rose of their own volition, and she started to chuckle. "Yeah, right." He wore the smile of the slightly miffed and trying to hide it. "It's true. You don't believe me?" She took a deep breath, and quelled that last laugh. "Okay, if you can really see so much better, what color is my underwear?" He gaped at her, then recovered. "I can't see *through* things, I just see them brighter than normal people." "Ah." She knew the answer before he'd said it, of course. At least she hoped she did. But it was always good to check. She made a note in her book. But before she could go on to another question, he volunteered, "You're embarrased." Having learned at a very young age how to wear a poker face, no matter what the reason, she replied loftily, "I'm not embarrased." He looked apologetic, and tapped his ear. "You are. Your heart is beating faster." She frowned. Darn. Hadn't thought of that. But now she was on another topic, "What else can you hear?", and wouldn't be sidetracked again. Three hours later... Natalie yawned hugely, and glanced at the moon. "I'm really sorry, but I've got to go to bed if I'm going to be of any use to anyone tomorrow. I'll look this over tomorrow night, and if I have any more questions, I'll call you, okay?" "Sure." He lifted easily into the air, and was gone. But before he got too far off, he glanced back into a still-open window... The next morning, just as Natalie was running out to work, she noticed a piece of paper that had been slipped under the door during the night. On it, a single word had been written. "Blue." -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=-=- ** FK/Wizard of Oz ** The writer/director/producer wandered among the actors, passing out scripts for the next scene. She called out, "Hey, Cath! You get Dorothy. Deb, you're the Wicked Witch of the West." "Hey, hey, wait a minute! Janette isn't evil, any more than Nat is innocent!" Did Deb say it? Catherine (either one)? Bah! Who cares? "Don't sweat it, after we shoot this one, you two switch lines and we do it again." She looked down at the next script. "Ger? This one's for you." She handed him the lines for the Tin Man. "Whoop! This one's for you, too." The Scarecrow was piled on top of Tin Man. Ger peeked over the stack of paper, looking skeptical. "The Scarecrow? Why am I the Scarecrow?" She stared at him a moment, then her eyes fell to the floor as she started chewing on a fingernail. "Well, the fans, they... uh... they think that Nick... would look good in straw! Umm, yeah! I read the list, y'know? It's true! They all want to see you in straw. Goes with your hair, don'cha know..." She glanced up hopefully. Well, he may not have bought it, but he's got a lot of lines to think about... As she was backing slowly away, Nigel appeared before her. "So! What have you got for me?" She started, and got a blank look. "*Very* good question! Umm, let's see what we got here... Munchkin." She looked up slowly to Nigel's face, and he cocked an eyebrow at her. She grinned, "Right. Moving right along... Flying Monkey, uh-uh... Glenda the Good Witch..." She paused and started to giggle. "Cute mental picture, but no." She flipped some more, until... "Voila! I got it! The Wizard! Oh, you're perfect for it! The irony! The twisted ending! Wonderful!" She handed him his lines, and walked nonchalantly into the ruby sunset, still chuckling. "God, I love my job." -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=-=-=- ** FK/Star Trek ** "Captain! Romulans off the starboard bow!" Tracey's voice was tense, betraying her youth. Nick's calm restored her. "Shields up! Vachon, evasive maneuvers!" The helmsman was already moving. "Janette! How many of them?" Janette smoothly raised her eyes from the viewer. "As far as I can tell, only one, Nicola." "Which means there are more out there, cloaked." She nodded. Nick punched a button on the arm of his chair. "Lacroix, I need warp nine! We have to get out of here before those other ships decide to uncloak!" "Cap'n, the worp draive... well, it's no' oatmeal, sair! I'm shore she ca handle worp naine fer a goot whoile." Nick smiled. "Good. Get on it." At that moment, Natalie burst onto the bridge. "Nick! What are you doing?" He turned to glare at her. "I'm getting us out of here. Don't you have sick people to tend to, or something?" She rolled her eyes. "Nick, I'm a coroner, not a doctor. My patients aren't exactly in a rush." Suddenly, Vachon (the only one on the set who's actually been *doing* something to keep them from being blown up by the present Romulan ship, and looks astonishingly like Fabio, by the way) called out, "Captain, here come the rest of them!" Three more ships decloaked in front of them. Nick's eyes grew round, and he slammed his fist down on the speaker. "Lacroix! I need that power *now*!" "Well, then hol' onta yer shairt, sair, 'cos here we goo!" The stars smeared, and they were gone. (Nick/Kirk getting the girl du jour, Janette/Spock making some scornful remarks, and Nat/Bones ranting about humanity snipped. Been there. Done that. No matter which world you're talking about.)