Date:         Sat, 6 May 1995 03:24:20 -0700

From:         Catherine Boone <catheboo@CCO.CALTECH.EDU>

Subject:      My Soul to Keep

 

Whewie!  Finally finished.  Does this mean I have to start working

again?  Nah.  I've got another fic in mind.  ;)

By the way, these posts might be running long, so if you ever don't get one,

just mail me.

Comments/flames/chocolates go to catheboo@cco.caltech.edu





My Soul to Keep

by Catherine Boone

catheboo@cco.caltech.edu

 

        The sunset lit up the sky like angels from Heaven, orange and golden

dying to red and purple as the light faded from the rolling sea.  Edith

treasured these moments, when the men were busying themselves with their

last-minute duties before it was off to the mess with them, and then to

bed.  But she was not so lost in her reverie not to notice a flicker of

movement in her eye that should not have been there.

        "Johnny!  Keep that sail to the wind!"  In an instant she was at

the boy's side, hauling on the ropes until the sail unfurled properly,

then tied it down and turned to the lad, a sharp lesson in when and when

not to loosen the ropes forming in her mind.

        But it died before it reached her lips, as she looked down at

surely the youngest member of her crew.  *I could not have hired

younger.  I would have noticed.  I'm sure of it.*  Instead of berating

him on his carelessness, she smiled kindly and gripped his shoulder,

saying, "Go and eat your dinner.  And before you sleep, loosen those

ropes properly in your mind ten times.  Then think on it no more."

        The terrified expression on the boy's face slowly faded as he

realized his good fortune, so she took on a forbidding expression and

quickly added, "But if I find you making this mistake again, you'll be

hauling on those ropes for real, instead of just thinking about it!"

        "Oh, yes sir!  Thank you sir!  You won't be sorry, Cap'n Edward,

I promise!"  He threw Edith a grateful smile as he darted off to gulp

down his food before he fell into bed.

        *I just hope he remembers to stay awake long enough to think on

his actions.  But he will.  The youngest are always the most diligent and

eager to learn.*  She sighed as she checked the knot on the errant rope,

found it secure, and then looked back out at the sea as the first stars

broke through the fading twilight.  *Just as well, for they have the most

to learn.*  She was glad this lad was turning out so well.  He seemed to

accept her guise as Captain Edward easily, dismissing the heavy jacket

and low hat as quirks, nothing more.  She made certain to cut her hair

meticulously short, and developed the voice and gestures of a man as best

she could, but there were always those who sought to probe deeper.  They

never remained long on her ship.

        "The stars are beautiful, aren't they?"  A voice, coming from

right behind her, nearly startled her out of her skin, but out of long

practice, she managed to contain her shriek and merely gasped sharply.

She turned to look at the man behind her, but it was useless on a

moonless night such as this, and unnecessary in any case.

        "Nicholas!  One of these days I'm going to put up trip wires all

around for the sole purpose of keeping you from being able to sneak up on

me like that!"  They both laughed, and then stood in silence as the stars

turned ever so slowly in the sky, "Shouldn't you be manning your post?

Much as you laze about in the day, this is _not_ a pleasure cruise.  Go

earn your keep."  As she heard his footsteps fade, she called out after

him, "And don't run into anything or I'll use your hide to plug the

hole!"  His laughter drifted back on the salty night air, and she

chuckled to herself.

        *Hard not to like that one, Nicholas.  I just hope he stays on

with us on the Mer a while longer after we finish this trip to Africa.*

Edith knew there were only two kinds of people who took to the sea for

the long hauls: those who ran to the life of the sea, and those who ran

away from a life elsewhere.  She knew Nicholas to be the latter, and had

since they'd first met.

        She'd just lost a crewman in a brawl while docked in a small port

in France only a few months ago.  Some drunk fool was giving foul insults

to his face about the slight build and fine features of his captain.  The

crewman felt obliged to respond, but no one saw the knife, not even him,

before it was buried in his heart.  She felt responsible, of course, but

when half-a-dozen others of her crew loudly protested that they would

have done the same thing in his place, with the exception, of course,

that they would have killed the dog, and cut out his lying tongue for

good measure... she smiled sadly and cursed them all as fools.  She began

the task of advertising a position on her ship, specifying that her usual

haul was measured in months, not days.  She hoped that would keep out

most of the wealthy youngsters looking for a new thrill.  She always got

a few, of course, and invariably drunker than she hoped she'd ever be in

her life, but she tossed them out before they could throw up on her

deck.  So when a well-dressed young man approached her, with no skills

and no sailing experience whatsoever, she was about to call out for

someone to throw this one back on shore, when he caught her eye and

repeated how he must leave immediately and would be willing to learn any

skill she wished to teach him.  "You must hire me," he said, and she

agreed instantly, without thinking.  At first, the crew resented his

hiring, as he'd done nothing to earn his place.  But Nicholas was kind to

every member of the crew, and even went to the trouble of sitting down

and having deep conversations with his most vocal opponents first.  In

those first few weeks, one could often see Nicholas softly speaking to

one member or another of the crew, staring intently into their eyes.

Soon everyone saw the matter her way, and there was no more grumbling.

        Glad she was that she hired him too, for, as she found out the

first moonless night they had at sea, Nicholas had a clarity of vision

that could only be explained as a gift from God.  On even the darkest

nights, he could see well enough not only to keep from ramming against

the reefs that occasionally jutted out from nowhere (difficult enough),

but could see the rocks hidden by water, as well.  There was no finer

navigator at night in all of Europe.  That, plus the fact that he turned

out to have a fair knowledge of doctoring, which her crew had sorely

needed for a good long time, made him one of the most valuable people on

the ship.  But she'd never tell him that, of course.  At the very least,

he'd ask for a greater cut in the final profit, if she didn't lose him

altogether.  She shivered in the cold night air, and gave in to the

temptation of a warm meal and a soft bed.  She stretched, and decided to

settle for a lukewarm bowl of stew and a cot, those being the nearest

things available.  Knowing every plank of her ship, even in the inky

darkness, she headed toward the galley.





        Nicholas watched Edward disappear belowdeck, and once again

wished he hadn't had to resort to his vampire skills in order to get a

simple job on a ship.  But he'd been hurried, anxious to disappear so

completely that he thought himself justified.  Though he knew it would be

at least a few days before even Janette noticed his absence, he kept

looking over his shoulder, expecting Lacroix to appear, with a patient

and mocking smile, and say, "Nicholas, surely you didn't think I'd let

you leave without even a good-bye."  And he would be trapped again, for

who knew how long this time, with no release from the madness his life

had become, ever since the death of the dancer.

        It had been months since Lacroix tricked him into killing her,

and yet he still could not bear to speak her name, even in his thoughts.

For a moment, the ship beneath him, the stars above, all disappeared as

he fell into the depths of despair at his foolishness, his rashness, his

mistake that cost the life of the one creature he prized above all

others.  He, who had not noticed the passing of a hundred thousand like

her, began to wonder if, in fact, all mortals possessed the same glory,

and he'd simply never seen until now.  What if the world did indeed

suffer for the lack of a single soul's light...?  He'd never dreamed that

after that moment, his old life, along with the heat of human blood,

would be gone forever.  And so he found himself running, looking for

somewhere, anywhere to lose himself so completely, Lacroix would never

find him. He asked a barkeep at the nearest port if there were any ships

hiring for long trips, and had a godsend fall into his lap.  The Mer, a

ship with a captain known for long, hard journeys through pirate

territory to send supplies to distant colonies.  It was suicide, but had

been done before, if a ship were in dire need of money.  It was a fair

ship, with a tight and intensely loyal crew.  "A'course, they'd have to

be, with the skinny li'l beggar they got leadin' 'em."  The bartender

laughed raucously, a harsh and bitter sound.  A sailor called out from

the back "Aye, an' that skinny li'l beggar'll have your lungs for

breakfast, if it suits 'im!"  The bartender glared in his direction as

the room filled with laughter.  Nicholas smiled, thanked the man and

left, already having learned everything he needed to know.  The Mer

apparently had a small enough crew to hypnotize the lot of them, if need

be, but was large enough to be out at sea for months at a time.  And most

importantly, they were planning to sail as soon as they hired their new man.

        Nicholas knew immediately that the Mer was simply and utterly

meant for him to join, so when the captain, a small, thin man with a

commanding presence, merely glared at him when he approached he would not

be dissuaded.  He was even able to squirrel away a few crates of blood

for the journey, as they had extra space.  Utterly amazed at his good

fortune, he hadn't minded the hours of backbreaking work and constant

quizzing by the captain on the proper method of doing any and every job

above and below deck.  "Because you never know when a knot will slip.

You may be closest, and have only seconds to reach it and latch it down

before the next wave hits.  So you'd better learn to do it fast, and be

able to get it right the first time!  You may not get a second chance."

 

        In a cove hidden to any but the most observant eye, a man cocked

his ear to the wind, heard the distinctive creaks and groans of an

oncoming ship, and grinned.  He turned to his crew and tersely snapped,

"She's coming.  Get ready."

 

        Lost in his thoughts, Nicholas didn't hear the ship approaching

from behind until the first shots were fired.  He spun around as another

cannonball was fired, hitting the water only yards away this time.

Nicholas didn't need the flashes of the gunpowder to see the flag flying

high and proud on her main mast.  The Jolly Roger.  "Pirates..." he

whispered in shock.  How could they have sneaked up on him so easily?  He

remembered with a rush his duty and his lessons, and he flew into

action.  "Pirates!" he shouted through the door down below.  "Wake up and

fight!"

        Edward shot through the door, nearly bowling him over in his

haste to reach the deck.  "We're already awake, fool!  Those shots could

wake the dead!  Now, get out the guns, gather the knives, and don't worry

about those cannons, they'll want their loot where they can get at it!"

 

        She gave orders in a steady stream, using the nearness of the

rocky shore to best advantage.  "Nicholas!  Man that helm and take us as

near the shore as you dare."  She knew it was useless; the pirates of

this region knew their shores like they knew their own mothers.  She

smiled grimly.  *Those who had mothers, at any rate.*  She continued to

think in a single spout of tactics, with instructions flowing out as fast

as she could speak them.  An ounce more speed here, a spare knife there;

she crashed to the deck as Nicholas made a turn sharper than she ever

thought possible in this old tug, and grinned tightly.  It seemed

Nicholas was well acquainted with the art of hunter and prey  *Good.  It

will be well used before the night is over.*

        She raced to the helm, and as another cannon flashed, she saw

Nicholas gripping the helm tight enough that it seemed as if the wood

were beginning to splinter.  But Edith wasn't paying attention.  For in

that final burst of cannon fire, she was finally able to get a good look

at the ship chasing them, and her heart sank deep into her chest.  There

would be no escape for them tonight.  Not from him.

        Nicholas, unfamiliar with the territory, failed to see the trap

until it was already too late.  "Captain!  We've been maneuvered into a

harbor, a dead end!  We're trapped!"

        Edith hissed in frustration, and cursed herself a thousand times

a fool.  Of course he would use the harbor.  She shouted loud enough for

the entire crew to hear her.  "We fight, then!  I want a ring of men

around the entire ship, and be prepared for anything.  Don't expect them

to necessarily come at us from the front, and whatever happens, try not

to leave your post.  They'll wait for a break in our defenses, and then

gut us from behind!  So keep your head, watch your back," her face

twisted in anger, "and kill them ALL!"

        Torches were lighted and placed all around the ship, so the crew

could see to fight.  The first few pirates were dispatched easily, but as

members of the crew inevitably ran to the aid of their comrades, portions

of the ship were left unprotected, and the first pirates made it on

deck.  Edith was soon fighting for her life.  She felt herself slip as

the madness took her, and she began to laugh with joy at the fear she saw

in her opponent's eye.  She found a weakness in the guard of the man

before her, and even as she realized her opportunity, she lunged forward,

and he was dead.

        She turned to face another, and jerked back as she recognized the

captain before her.  _Her_ captain.  She glared into his wide black eyes

with unparalleled hatred as he smiled indulgently.  "Edith," he purred,

softly enough for only her to hear him above the clash of metal and the

cries of the dying, "you didn't really think I'd let you leave us," his

face was a wounded mask, "without saying good-bye?"

        "These men mean nothing to you, Sorensen.  Let them be.  This is

between you and me!"  Against her will, a pleading note crept into her voice.

        Sorensen smiled innocently.  "Oh no, I'm afraid you have it all

wrong.  This isn't between you and me.  Not anymore."  She stiffened as a

knife slid between her ribs from behind.  "This is between you," she

slumped to her knees as his voice became a whisper, "and God."

        Edith fell to the deck and came face-to-face with Johnny, his

eyes sightless and dark, and she recalled another saying about the

young.  They were also the first to die.  But he was beyond caring, now.

And as the world fell into darkness, she knew that soon, so would she.



        Above the racket of the fight around him, Nicholas strained to

hear clearly the whispered conversation between Edith and the leader of

this rabble.  When he finally realized exactly what it was he was

hearing, his mouth fell open in shock.  It wasn't possible!  The pirate

before him cried out in victory as he made a final stab through Nicholas'

heart.  Nicholas felt his eyes begin to glow as he became irritated with

this game, and simply grabbed the man by the shirt and dumped him over

the side of the ship, quickly yanking out the knife and surveying the damage.

        *Passable as a flesh wound.*  Satisfied for the moment that no

one saw what just transpired, he turned his attention back to Edward's

(Edith's?) conversation.  And simply stared, horrified, as he (she...)

collapsed to the deck, the hilt of a knife clearly visible on her back.

He barely noticed as the pirates began to vanish around him, their

mission accomplished.  He raced to her side, his feet almost leaving the

ground in his haste.  He let the knife be for the moment, knowing that

removing it at this point would only make the wound bleed more.  He

lifted her in his arms as gently as he could, and carried her below to

his quarters.  He knew, one way or another, Edward would never live to

see another dawn.

 

        Edith slowly forged her way to wakefulness, and immediately

regretted it.  It seemed pain was the only thing she was capable of

feeling; it overwhelmed any other thought.  She made a vain effort to

open her eyes; succeeded on the third try.  She looked up at Nicholas'

troubled face, watching her.  "Why..." her voice was the smallest

whisper, "why are you wasting your time?"

        Nicholas walked to her side, and sat down on the bed next to

her.  "You should save your strength."

        "For what?" she cried bitterly, louder.  "You cannot tell me I'm

not going to die.  What does it matter now?"

        "Shh.  You must listen to me."  He looked into her eyes only long

enough to tell he had her attention.  "I can save you."

        "Hah!  You're mad."  She began to cough weakly.

        "NO!"  She froze for a moment, forgetting even to cough in her

astonishment.  He took her hands, a pleading look on his face.  "You must

believe me.  I can save you.  I can make you what I am."

        "And what are you?  An angel, come to take me away?  Don't mock

me!"  Her voice shook with scorn and pain, but not from her wound.  *How

dare he torment me so!  I thought this man my friend!*

        Nicholas became very still and calm, as if he were about to speak

an almost religious truth.  "No.  I am a vampire."  Edith took breath to

laugh in his face, and recalled a thousand hints: the cook, "So, when am

I going to meet this new face you've been telling me so much about?";

herself, teasing him about his laziness in the daytime; the sudden

"convincing" of the crew.  Of her.

        "You lied to me!  You tricked me!"  Her eyes narrowed and she

ignored her shortening breath.

        "No more than you lied to me, Edith."  His eyes were so

compassionate, that she felt her anger draining from her.

        "Is this madness then in you and your fantasy," impossibly, her

eyes filled with tears, "or in me, for believing you?"

        "It's no madness.  I _can_ save you.  But I must ask something in

return."

        Edith's face was flat and defeated as she whispered, "I want to

live, Nicholas.  Name your terms."

        He leaned down and touched her cheek.  "I want you to promise me

you will never taste human blood.  Not you, nor your children, nor your

children's children... forever."

        Edith replied quizzically, "But I thought..." she could not

finish her sentence as she succumbed to another bout of coughing.

        "We need not take human life.  I've learned we can exist off the

blood of animals."  Edith was visibly weakening.  "Swear it, quickly!"

        Her lips moved, and even Nicholas had to bend closer to hear

her.  "I vow... never to drink human blood... neither me nor mine... I

swear it."

        As she whispered a final "...hurry," Nicholas let the hunger take

him, quickly bared his fangs and descended upon her throat.

 

        As a young child, Edith had always been told of the tunnel to the

Pearly Gates, and the bright light of Heaven that came after this life.

She had also been told that her life would rush by her, to remind her of

her sins before she saw God's judgment.

        She decided God must have gotten her confused with someone else,

because the images flashing before her were like none she'd ever seen.

Years went by like ghosts: barely glimpsed at, yet never forgotten.  A

tall man with a commanding air passed by; a woman with black hair and

bright eyes smiled at her.  And in the midst of this storm of memories, a

warm voice spoke to her.  *Sleep.*

        Terror rose in her at the thought of eternal sleep, and she cried

out, *No!  Never!*  The images began to change, fangs bared everywhere,

all around her; golden eyes glowing in the night... Edith was sure she

was spiraling into the deepest hell.

        But the voice wrapped her up in its softness, and the memories

slowly ceased to torment her.  *Rest, Edith.  You will live.  You no

longer need fear the darkness.*  It fell silent after that, but she

continued to feel its comforting presence, as she fell into a deep and

dreamless sleep.



        Edith awoke to find the world had... changed.  Though the room

was completely black, she could see every knot and hole in the wooden

walls around her, as if a dozen lanterns filled the room.  She saw

Nicholas asleep in a chair by the bed, and smiled.  She made a small

movement, wincing in anticipation of a wave of pain.  It never came.  She

made progressively bigger movements, until she finally decided that it

was safe to get up and see how her crew was faring.  She sat up, even

taking a few practice twists for good measure, and whispered softly,

"What a wonder you are, Nicholas."  She rose from the bed as quietly as

she could and crept toward the door.

        But, just as her hand reached for the knob, she hesitated, and

then began to shake, all over.  She knew, she _knew_, that if she opened

the door, she would die.  Instantly.  But she couldn't remember why...

        Nicholas, sensing her distress, woke and was at her side

immediately.  He put a hand to her chin and raised her eyes to his,

saying, "You couldn't sleep.  You were having nightmares, delusions, from

my blood.  I tried to block the flood of experiences," he wore a rather

sheepish smile, "and apparently got a little carried away."

        Edith's mouth was a hard line.  "I know you have done these

things to help and protect me.  That's the only reason you haven't been

beaten senseless.  But if you ever," her eyes flashed red, "_ever_ toy

with my mind again, I'll make sure you can't walk," her hand touched her

ribs gently, "for at least a week."  Nicholas had the grace to wince.

        "But before I kill you," Edith's eyes were still yellow, and

glowed faintly in the darkness of the cabin, "do you possibly have

anything to eat?  I'm so hungry I feel as if I could eat a horse!"

        Nicholas walked over to an inconspicuous crate and pulled out a

large wine bottle.  "Would you settle for drinking a cow?"  She stared at

him a moment, then burst out laughing, completely hysterical, until he

uncorked the bottle.  Her smile vanished and her eyes glowed brighter.

He handed her the bottle and she took a long swig.  When she finally came

up for air, she sighed.  "This is _good_."  Nicholas watched her with sad

eyes as she quickly drank the rest of the bottle, and then another, in

rapid succession.

        When she finished, Nicholas prepared himself mentally for a

fight, and said noncommittally, "Edith we need to talk."

        She nodded.  "Yes, we do.  We need to plan out how exactly we're

going to get the crew hypnotized to forget I was ever wounded.  I suppose

I'll have to give up my captaincy," she frowned, "but I'd be a sorry

excuse for a captain if I couldn't even walk the deck in daylight.  Now,

I'm thinking we could..."

        "Edith, we have to leave."  The words burst forth before Nicholas

could stop them.  He sighed.  "The entire crew watched me carry you down

here.  They saw how badly you were injured.  The fact that we're floating

in this harbor in the middle of pirate country with no captain will be

too strange for them to accept by itself.  They'll remember you are

captain the minute they see you, and with it will come the knowledge that

you should be dead."

        Edith thought quickly, desperately.  "We could tell them one of

the crew who died in battle was captain.  Who did we lose last night?"

        "Only Johnny."  Nicholas shook his head slowly, sadly.  "You know

they'd never believe one so young could ever be captain."

        "We could try..."  But the look of blatant skepticism stopped

her.  "Please, Nicholas," she whispered, her eyes shut tightly to hide

the hopelessness beginning to grow in her heart, "I can't leave my ship.

It's the only life I have."

        "I know, and I'm sorry."  Edith's mask began to crack, and her

hand flew to her mouth as a sob escaped her lips.  "I wish there were

another way."  Seeing her face crumple, Nicholas went to her and held her

tightly.  Edith cried bitterly into his shoulder for some time.  She

raised her hand, finally, to brush away her tears, and stared at the

blood she found there.  After a long moment, she met Nicholas' eyes and

said calmly, "We have to leave."  Her brow furrowed.  "But how?"

        Nicholas smiled, in relief at her acceptance, and in

reassurance.  "Don't worry.  I have a plan.  But for it to work, I'll

need to first teach you how to fly."

        Edith looked at him blankly.  "Fly.  Nicholas," she assumed a

patient tone of voice, as if she were correcting an errant child, "only

birds can fly.  It's the way of..."  She didn't bother to finish her

sentence as she stared openmouthed at Nicholas floating in a seated

position a good three feet off the floor.

        "Come," he said in the exact same tone, "if you can believe in

vampires, surely you can believe this."

        Edith gathered her wits about her, and sputtered, "How in God's

name are you doing that?"  Nicholas let his feet drift back to the floor

and took her hands in his.

        "After a while, it becomes second nature, like walking.  But when

you try it the first few times, your preconceptions hold you back.  You

think you can't fly, so you can't.  You have to let go of your doubts.

The only way to do that is to forget aout them, and when you see yourself

flying, then you'll believe it."  He smiled.  "You'd better believe it by

then, of you'll have a long drop."  When she still looked suspicious, he

said, "Here, close your eyes, and I'll show you what I mean."

        Edith cocked an eyebrow at him, confused but willing to play

along.  She closed her eyes obediently while Nicholas did the same,

slowly and carefully lowering every mental shield, every defense he ever

created since he was first born to Lacroix.  Finally... *Can you hear me?*

        She started beneath his hands, then he sensed her mind opening to

his, as if she physically turned to look at him.  *Yes.  I hear you.*

        He sent a touch of warmth in place of a smile of encouragement.

*Good.  Now, simply feel as I feel, and the rest will come as it may.*

He then allowed his mind to fall into itself.  The lesson to be taught,

his plans for escape, his hopes and his fears: all were gone as his self

became silent and still.  He let the past and the future fade away,

leaving the peace and rest of the ever-present now.  And as his cares,

his worries, and his burdens slipped from his shoulders, so did his feet

slip from the ground.  And as he opened his eyes again, he wondered to

himself how soulless creatures such as they could ever find a place

inside themselves to hold such peace.

        But Edith, floating beside him, shook her head slightly, a

wondrous smile on her face.  "How can you possibly tell me that I have no

soul, when I can feel it being uplifted, now more than ever?"

        "You will learn, I fear, as time goes on, of the darkness that

has replaced your soul."

        She looked directly into his eyes and said, "I cannot see the

shadows you do, and I can't help but hope that I never will.  I can see

them reflected in your face."

        Nicholas hesitated a moment, then smiled softly.  "I'll share

that hope with you."

        And so it was that Edward Carradine, captain of the Mer, was

buried at sea that night, during a terrible storm that seemed to blow up

from nowhere.  The doctor, Nicholas Nacht, overcome with grief at the

loss of his patient and friend, dived into the waves after Edward before

anyone could stop him.  The sea may not have been silent and still in

respect for his loss, but the crew of the Mer made up for it.

        And if an old sea salt glanced out over the waves as the

lightning hit them, and managed to see two figures in flight toward

shore, he felt a twinge of pity for any bird forced to travel in this

weather, and trudged back to bed.

 

        Meanwhile, a very tall, very old vampire turned toward a presence

that suddenly lit up like a beacon.  A presence he'd been searching for a

long time.  "A simple letter would have sufficed, Nicholas.  'Wish you

were here.'"  He grinned, and began to laugh.





        "Are you really sure this is a good idea?"  Edith limped slightly

as they walked toward the entrance of the hall, the sounds of laughter

and music wafting out into the night air.

        "Why not?  Your hair has finally grown to a proper length, your

costume looks wonderful..."  Edith was going methodically through a

variety of curses only a sailor would know, in a voice too soft for

anyone but him to hear.  "What's the matter?"

        "What's the matter?" she repeated incredulously, adjusting her

mask, "I'll tell you what's the matter!  My feet are being slowly

deformed, my ribs are being crushed, and I feel like I'm half-naked in

this... thing!"  She gestured dramatically at the frills and bows on her

dress.  "Can't we just get into normal clothes and go to a tavern somewhere?"

        "No!  You look fine.  Human women wear these things all the time,

and no harm came to them.  Never mind them, I remember when _I_ had to

wear tight shoes.  I survived, and so can you."

        "Hmph.  When fashions turn again, Nicholas, I'll remind you of

this conversation."  Grinning from ear to ear, only slightly wickedly, he

took her firmly by the forearm and steered her into the whirlwind of

masks, headdresses, and warm, living bodies.

        Edith could smell the blood before she even entered the room; now

it was overpowering, and her grip on Nicholas' arm tightened.  She felt

the demon inside raise her head and smile at her with her own smile.  She

shuddered, and reminded it she had drunk plenty in preparation for this,

that she had no need, no thirst.  The demon laughed, and knew otherwise.

But Edith had been battling her inner demons since well before she became

what she was, and this particular one, while having more bite (she smiled

inwardly), was otherwise no different from the rest.  She opened her

eyes, not realizing until then that she'd closed them, and pointedly

ignored the hunger within, smiling politely at whomever Nicholas chose to

chat with as the two made their way to the ballroom.

        When they finally finished wading their way through the

pleasantries, Nicholas, rather that try to shout over the noise of the

crowded room, sent, *Are you ready to try out your dance steps?*

        She smiled wryly back.  *I don't know.  Are your feet properly padded?*

        He managed to look offended.  *How can you say that?  I spent

weeks teaching you!*

        Her smile went from wry to wicked.  *My point, exactly.*  But she

allowed herself to be led without too much fuss out onto the floor as the

next song began.

        Some while later, after the crowd had lessened enough to at

least be able to speak without shouting, while Edith was concentrating on

trying to look graceful as she was pulled about the dance floor, Nicholas

caught sight of him.  His eyes widened for a moment, then his mind

slammed shut with an almost audible snap.  Edith stumbled in his arms,

but he held her up, lifting her a few inches off the ground without

noticing it until she growled very softly.  But she did have sense enough

to mentally wrap herself in nothingness, creating a barrier between

herself and the outside.  She didn't know what was going on, but from the

flash of fear she managed to catch before her sense of him vanished, she

knew that they were in great danger.  Or, more specifically, she was in

great danger.  Then she caught sight of a woman on the far side of the

room.

        Her mask hid her features, but her hair was a dark mass piled

high on her head, and her bright eyes smiled at Edith, as if they knew

her.  At her side stood a man in an old military uniform, and she knew as

soon as she saw him where the danger lay.  *Lacroix.*  She almost jumped

at such a tight send.  She didn't bother trying to match it, and

whispered, "I know.  I recognize him.  But if he knows where we are,

we'll have to confront him at some point, so we'd best do it here, where

there are too many witnesses for him to do anything rash."

        Nicholas looked as if he'd rather walk into the sun, but he

grimly nodded and began to head in their direction.  As they came near,

Lacroix slid from a straight and forbidding stance to a smooth smile, as

he bent to kiss Edith's hand.  "A pleasure, my dear, to meet one of the

family."

        She decided to call his bluff, and gave him her most silky

smile.  "The pleasure's all mine, Grandfather."

        He frowned.  "I'm afraid technical relationships won't do in this

company.  You may call me..." his mouth quirked slightly, "Uncle."

        Nicholas was mentally tugging at her sleeve, wanting to know

exactly what she thought she was doing.  She ignored him and lowered her

eyes in acknowledgment.  "Uncle."

        At that moment the music rose, beginning the next song, as even

more dancers thronged to the floor.  "Would you care to dance?"  Lacroix

was the picture of polite self-confidence.  Edith was finding it hard to

concentrate with Nicholas all but yelling in her ears.  She sent him a

pointed glare and a wave of irritation she knew the others would sense

easily.  Janette was doing her best to hold in a smile, but Lacroix,

being behind Edith for the moment, merely looked at Nicholas with a

raised eyebrow, his smile moving from smooth to smug, and back to smooth,

as she turned back around and they headed off toward the spinning crowd.

Janette laughed as soon as they were out of hearing range (not far off,

even for a vampire), and scolded Nicholas.  "You should be more careful,

Nicola.  Showing Lacroix a soft spot is never wise."

        "She doesn't know what she's getting into."  Nicholas fumed.  "I

was just trying to..."

        "What you were _trying_ to do," Janette interrupted him, "is

protect her from being hurt.  It can't be done, Nicola.  You have to let

her make her own mistakes, or she'll never survive on her own.  Now

come," she gave him one of her warmest smiles, and even distracted as he

was, Nicholas relaxed and smiled in return.  "I want to see if you

remember how to _really_ dance."

        As they began to mix in with the other swirling people, Nicholas

and Janette fell to talking of old times.  Nicholas told her of all the

things Edith learned, and all her little mistakes.  And invariably,

Janette would remind him of when he did the same things, and they both

would laugh and laugh.  Finally Nicholas found her wearing a thoughtful

expression.  "What is it?"

        "Nicola, now that you are free again, are you..." she sounded

almost wistful, "happy?"

        He was a long time in answering.  "It's hard," he admitted.

"Having to find your own home, make sure it's secure against sunlight or

intrusion... there are so many things I'd forgotten.  All the details

that now plague me.  But I am much happier now that I am," he glimpsed

Edith talking animatedly to Lacroix and smiled inwardly, "in a sense, free."

        Janette would not be sidetracked.  "'Happier' is not happy,

Nicola.  What troubles you?"

        He sighed.  "I search and search for a release from vampirism.

I'm beginning to that there is only one cure for the bloodlust."

Janette's eyes widened in horror, but Nicholas was oblivious, and

continued.  "I need to become human again."  She let out her breath

slowly, not realizing until then that she'd been holding it.  She didn't

dwell on what she thought he'd say, but focused on his words.

        "There is no cure for us, Nicola.  Don't you think if there were

that someone, in all the millenia of the Community's existence, would

have found it?  It's madness."  But she knew that look.  Nicola had

decided, and no words, not even from her, would turn him.  So she tried a

different tack.  "And should this _cure_" she spat out the word,

"succeed, wherever you may find it, what do you think will happen to

Edith?  She needs guidance still, and will for another few decades."

        Nicholas looked lost and helpless.  "I don't know."





        Edith inwardly winced at the thought of more dancing, but Lacroix

turned out to be an excellent lead, and soon she was gliding with him in

perfect time.  "I was wondering, my dear..." he looked at her expectantly.

        "Edith."

        He smiled again, and she wondered how someone supposedly so

dangerous could charm the paint off the walls.  She realized suddenly,

that of course, she'd answered her own question.  Lacroix continued, "I

was wondering if you would like to go hunting with Janette and I this

evening.  What with this lovely party, young couples should abound in the

alleyways tonight."

        Edith glanced up at him apologetically, a littly embarrassed.  "I

would love to, but I'm afraid I must decline."

        Lacroix was quick to read her fact (if not deeper) and the

disapproval radiated from him.  "Nicholas _has_ taught you to hunt,

hasn't he?"

        Edith rolled her eyes, trying desperately to look anywhere but at

him as she formed an explanation.  "It has proved to be... unnecessary."

She glanced hopefully at his face, hoping it would do.  Noting the raised

eyebrow, she sighed.  Apparently it would not.  Taking a deep breath, she

abandoned all hope of hiding her situation and said, low enough that the

nearby dancers wouldn't overhear, "I swore to Nicholas that I would never

drink human blood."

        For the first time, Lacroix's smooth manner slipped.  He stared

at her in shock, hesitating his step for only a moment, but enough for

Edith to come crashing out of time with him, and stumble.  Instantly he

was back in time, smooth as ever, and his face was all polite concern.

"How did you ever agree to such an abominable curse?"

        "You mean, besides the fact that I was stuck between the devil

and the deep blue sea, as it were?"  She smiled, and Lacroix nodded

once.  She thought a moment for the proper answer, then began, "I grew up

a rather pampered daughter of a tax collector in London.  I had every

wish granted, except where my future was concerned.  My life had already

been carefully planned out for me.  I was to go to school long enough to

read and write, then marry, have children, and grow old, in one grand

plan.  I couldn't stay there and watch myself grow old in front of the

mirror while there was so much of the world I had yet to see.  So I ran

away and took the first ship leaving.  I didn't care where it was going,

or what it carried."

        "It was foolish of me to book passage on a ship by myself, of

course.  I knew nothing of pirates then.  But I soon learned, because the

captain of this particular ship, the Maid, was a man named Jacob

Sorensen.  He was a grand-scale pirate, stealing from cross-continental

ships, ones with more loot than he could carry back with him, so he could

pick and choose from the best."

        "When I learned of the predicament I'd gotten myself in, I was

actually glad.  I thought this would be my path to grand adventure and

glory.  And for a while, it was.  Sorensen took me under his wing, and

eventually to his bed.  He taught me how to fight, how to tell if a ship

is rich just by looking at it, and by example, how to turn a group of

rowdy individuals into an effective crew.  In turn, I became just like

him.  Ruthless, greedy, and unforgiving, I earned my place by his side

through pure ferocity."

        "As the years passed, I began to notice the faces as I cut them

down.  One was fat and lazy.  Another was poor and hungry.  All of them

were out of their minds with fear when they died.  And I realized that

one day, I would see my death coming in just this same way.  Unless

things changed.  I left Sorensen soon after, and never looked back.  It

didn't make any difference.  He eventually found me again, and I saw my

death coming as I knew I would.  But Nicholas saved me."

        Edith gazed steadily at Lacroix, sure of this one thing, if

nothing else.  "Nicholas freed me from my former self, and gave me a new

life, to do with as I choose.  If he had not taken the oath from me, I

would have given it of my own free will.  I will not be a harbinger of

death again."

        Lacroix no longer looked amused by her.  "You may find, my dear,

that with eternal life comes eternal death, in one form or another."

Edith paled, wondering exactly how menacing the warning was supposed to

be, when the music finally stopped.  Lacroix bowed low.  "A pleasure to

dance with one so talented."  She gave a small curtsey, not quite

trusting her voice, and they moved to meet Janette and Nicholas at the

refreshment table.

        Nicholas whispered in Janette's ear as the two approached, "Go

make your acquaintance with Edith.  There are some things Lacroix and I

need to discuss."  From the look on his face, it appeared not much

'discussion' was fated to take place, but Janette didn't mind.  She

wanted some time alone to speak to Nicola's new daughter anyway.  She

caught Edith's eye and motioned for her to join Janette as Nicholas

strode out of the room with Lacroix.

        "Don't worry about those two," she said as she noticed Edith

glancing apprehensively at their retreating backs, "they've lived

together for centuries, and haven't killed each other yet.  Besides, you

and I have more important things to discuss."  That got Edith's

attention.  She sat patiently, waiting for Janette to continue.  "You

know of Nicola's foolish dreams to become mortal?"  Edith's eyes were

dark, but steady, as she nodded.  "Have you given any thought to what

you'll do if he does go back across?"

        Edith stared at her in shock, wide-eyed.  "But I thought..."

        Janette shook her head sadly.  "With Nicola, given enough time,

there's always a chance."

        Edith pressed her lips together, looking thoughtful, then said,

"I don't know what I'd do.  I suppose I'd have to fend for myself.  I

should really make some connections soon, so that I don't get trapped in

the daylight because I simply have nowhere to go..."

        "Well," Janette smiled brightly, "you've made your first.  If you

ever have need, you can call on me, and I will find you a place to stay."

        Edith's smile was warm and genuine, the first she'd allowed

herself since the evening began.  "Thank you."

 

        Meanwhile, Nicholas and Lacroix had begun their 'discussion' with

a bang, literally.  The door to a secluded room crashed shut and Lacroix

turned to glare at Nicholas for such a childish display.  "I can't

believe you would actually force your own guilty obsessions on anyone,

much less one of your own children!  Have you completely lost your mind?

Do you _want_ her to die?"

        "It can be done, Lacroix.  I haven't hunted since we parted

company.  If I can do it, so can she."  Nicholas had the look of a man

wanting to believe his own words even as he spoke them.  Or perhaps

Lacroix merely sensed his doubt directly from his thoughts.  He couldn't

tell sometimes.  Nor, he supposed, did it really matter how he knew.  The

truth of his words was there, and that was what was important.

        "Nicholas, you are seven hundred years old!  She is no more than

five, as a vampire.  Do you really think she'll be able to resist the

temptation?"  Lacroix walked toward him slowly.  "Would you be able to?

You know the hunger.  At times, it is All.  Given enough time, she will

succumb.  Would you have her go mad, solely to keep your hands clean?"

        Nicholas smiled and shook his head, "I know her well.  She will

not fail me."

        "Ah, but what parent ever really knows his children?"  He cocked

his head and his eyes narrowed, as if in concentraton.  "Isn't that what

they say, Nicholas?"

        "It's very simple, Lacroix.  I trust her."

        Lacroix interrupted anything else Nicholas might have said,

raising his hands in pleading emphasis.  "How many must betray your trust

before you learn to stop trusting them?"

        "Even your own children?"  Nicholas openly showed a hint of doubt

for the first time.

        Lacroix leaned toward him, until they were almost nose-to-nose.

"Especially your own children."

        Nicholas assumed an airy, condescending tone.  "Well, your

concern is much appreciated, but entirely unnecessary.  We shall meet

again, I hope."

        Lacroix bowed graciously.  "Perhaps."  He watched Nicholas leave

in a swirl of his cape, shutting the door behind him.  "Perhaps even

sooner than you think."  He finally let his grin show.





        Over the course of the weeks to follow, Nicholas began to notice

how very often Edith flew aimlessly.  He also began to notice how long

her "flights" took her.  He managed to figure the numbers, and decided he

could have traveled the length of Europe during one of her nightly

excursions.  And she was always so radiant, even slightly flushed, when

she would finally return.  The cow blood would disappear at a normal

rate, but he knew that meant nothing.  He would ask her time and again

where she went, but she would profess ignorance.  "The countryside

doesn't exactly have its name emblazoned on it, Nicholas."

        Once she even laughed and said, "I went hunting.  Where else?"

        And with every passing day, the shadows in Nicholas' mind grew longer.

 

        Edith truly did love to fly.  It was one of the only times when

she felt almost free from the hunger that burned incessantly from

within.  Even though she was beginning to find the beginner's excercises

unnecessary, she kept practicing them, for the simple peace of mind they

gave her.

        She was finally able to see the world, from the most glorious of

vantages.  She would often mingle with the crowds in some towns, still

busy after the sun had set, if only to listen to their foreign tongues.

Or sometimes she would simply fly to a mountaintop somewhere, look out

over the world, and wonder what creatures even stranger than she lived on

the other side of the horizon.

        She occaisionally wondered why Nicholas was so gloomy whenever

she came in from the balcony after a long night.  She assumed it was

because she left him alone so much of the time, but whenever she asked if

he would like to accompany her, he would bitterly refuse.  His moodiness

and silences only made her long for the skies more.

        And with every passing day, she was tempted to stay out longer.

 

        Edith swept in from the window.  By now she was such an accurate

flier that the window needed only to be open partway for her to enter

without even slowing down.  She stopped by the railing and looked out

over the first floor of the spacious London apartment, her eyes scanning

quickly for Nicholas, but she didn't see him.  She thought briefly about

closing her eyes and practicing sensing him through their bond, but

dismissed the idea.  *He'll probably be in the study, poring over more

piles of crumbling books.  He's been so intent in looking for his

precious cure, he'll most likely growl at me without thinking if I try to

even enter the room.*

        She sighed, and walked back to the window, looking out over the

street just as the town began to wake.  She watched the first early

risers make their way from home to work, work to home.  She wondered what

kind of person would be content in such a life.

        One particular man caught her eye.  He was very handsome, she

could tell even at this distance, and his walk reminded her fondly of

Nicholas, before she knew what he was.

        She was so hungry.  As she watched the young man make his way

down the street, she began to wonder what it would be like to drink his

blood.  She found the alley she could lure him into, what she might say

to entrance him, so he might never see his death coming.  She could

almost taste it now...

        Roughly she was yanked from the window and spun around to face a

wild, golden-eyed Nicholas, snarling so much she found it hard to make

out his words.  "So this is how you honor your oaths.  I'm surprised to

find you still here.  Why aren't you in that alley, making the kill?  You

practice enough on your own, you should be adept at hunting, but I should

really hold my judgment until I've seen your technique."  He practically

spat out the words.  His hands gripped her arms until she could feel the

bruises growing underneath them.

        Edith's mouth dropped open in shock, only to be snapped shut as

she clenched her teeth in fury.  "What on earth are you talking about?  I

would never have killed him!  I was only hungry!"

        "Don't lie to me!  I know you've been hunting a long time.

There's no reason to try to hide it now.  The long absences, your coming

back in better health than when you left.  Did you think I wouldn't

notice?  Do you take me for such a fool?"

        "You doubt my word to you, spy on me behind my back," Edith's

eyes were incandescent with rage, "and then you have the GALL to invade

my private thoughts?"  She was finding it hard to breathe, as her anger

reddened her pale-white face.  "How dare you!"

        Had Nicholas not been knocked unconscious instantly, he would

have felt himself flying across the room, crashing through the railing

and falling backwards to the first floor, directly onto one of the

high-backed chairs, and heard the crunching of his spine breaking in two.

        But as it was, he didn't feel a thing.

 

        He awoke to find Edith standing over him next to the bed, with a

crate of blood on the floor within easy reaching distance.  Her eyes were

sad, but cold.  Nichols closed his eyes rather than look at them.  He

could see the darkness in them now, and knew he was the cause.  "I did

warn you you wouldn't be able to walk for a week..."  She tried to make

her voice light, but Nicholas knew her heart.  And while she could ignore

her own feelings, she couldn't ignore the sadness on his face.  "I've

decided to leave, Nicholas.  I can't stay here anymore."

        He wouldn't, couldn't look at her.  "Of course.  I understand."

        "I've left you as much blood as you'll need for your recovery.

It's all right here where you can get to it."  She bustled about the

room, opening the crate and leaving a half-dozen bottles on the dresser

next to the bed, making sure everything was in order.

        "Where do you think you'll go?"  The sun had only just fallen,

and Nicholas didn't need to see the bags bundled outside to know they

were there.  She looked at him, startled.

        "I'm going to go to Janette first, to get some money and some

advice on who to contact to set up a new life."

        "You don't need to..."  He protested, but she cut him off.

        "It's all right!"  She smiled, a little nervously.  "It's all

right.  You don't need to worry.  I'll be fine on my own."

        Nicholas looked deeply into her eyes, searching for some hope

that she might stay.  But there was none.  He closed his eyes in defeat.

"Yes," he replied, "I know."

        She had reached the door and was beginning to walk through when

she heard faintly, "Edith?"  She turned to face him one last time.  "You

will keep your promise?"  His voice was so lost and alone, she couldn't

help but send a mental touch of warm reassurance.

        "Forever."

        And then she was gone.





        Edith did find her own niche.  She first played the wealthy

heiress for a while, but it didn't particularly agree with her.  When the

women's movement rolled around, she welcomed it with open arms, promptly

shedding the heiress and going to work.  She slowly made her way from the

bottom up in the job market, starting in sweat shops and such, rejoicing

at the day when she was able to afford (on her legitimate salary) a

decent home of her own, no questions asked.

        Sometimes, as weeks turned to months, stretching into years, she

would sense an abstract sadness, like a hand pressing down on her heart.

Whenever she did, she sent encouragement and warmth back along the same

lines.  And whenever she was feeling particularly sad or alone, he was

always there to comfort her as well.

        And so the decades passed.

 

        Edith worked late in the planetarium again.  She'd only recently

discovered astronomy in the last twelve years or so, and she was still

learning so much about it, she often forgot about the time.  She'd found

it such a perfect opportunity, she dropped her job as a history professor

and went back to school to get her degree in it.  It was heaven.  She was

'forced' to work solely at night, she could wear whatever clothes she

wished to work, and she found that watching the stars reminded her so

much of her life before, that she didn't have the heart to pass up the

chance to simply sit and get paid to do it.  It also reminded her that,

though she had traveled the world round, there were still horizons yet to

discover, and places yet to see.

        The computer in front of her beeped, and she was brought back to

reality.  She punched in a new set of data, and got up to go take another

look through the telescope, in the hopes that this time she might

discover something useful.  But the stars merely twinkled back, and were

otherwise silent.  "Anything yet?"  Chris poked her head into the room.

        Edith wrinkled her nose and frowned.  "Not yet.  I'm beginning to

wonder if those theorists are worth anything, or if it's just part of

their code to print reams of nonsense just to keep us peons busy doing

their wild goose chasing for them."

        Chris laughed.  "Now, now.  They're also paying us very well to

do their wild goose chasing.  Would you rather be doing this, or sitting

in front of a desk somewhere, hmm?"

        She made a face.  "Good point.  Well, maybe mister M1368 will be

the light of my life..."  She went to go see the results of her data.

        And then suddenly her mind seemed to slip, and the stars went black...

 

        She woke up surrounded by her colleagues, concern written on all

their faces.  "Are you all right?  You must have fainted.  How long has

it been since you last ate...?"  Well-meaning questions barraged her, but

she ignored them, fear maddening her.

        He was gone.  There was no warning, no sense of pain.  Nicholas'

presence was simply no longer there.  It had been... ripped out somehow.

Sitting there on the floor, surrounded by her colleagues, she took a deep

breath and closed her eyes.  She lowered every mental wall she'd ever

erected.  Still there was nothing.  She methodically tried to sense his

location, hoping against hope that she could find him even without the

bond to guide her.  She cast out blindly in all directions, mentally

shouting his name.  But she couldn't find him.

        She opened her eyes and quickly looked at her watch, subtracting

the hours to estimate the time in Toronto.  Her heart shrank, and part of

her mind cut itself off from the whole, and began to scream.  7:15.

        Morning.





        "Are you sure you don't want me to drive you home, Edith?"

Chris' opinion of her driving capability was evident on her face as Edith

got into her car.

        Edith managed to smile up at her and said, "Will you stop

worrying?  I'm fine.  I'm just tired, is all.  I'm going to go home and

take a long nap."

        Chris still looked skeptical.  "It's true, you've been working

too hard."  She smiled conspiratorially.  "But I don't think you're going

to bed anytime soon, are you?"

        Edith almost froze at being found out, but realized what Chris

meant before she gave herself away.  She grinned.  "C'mon, Chris.  If I

spend a couple of hours watching an old movie or two, who's to tell the

difference?"  She slammed the door and turned the ignition.

        "You need _sleep_!"  Chris called out in impatience after her,

but Edith only waved in response.  Shaking her head, she muttered

something about insane and terminally overworked coworkers, and went back

to her lab.

 

        Edith's hands shook so much she had to concentrate on her every

move the entire drive home.  But at least it would keep her from thinking

too far beyond the here and now.

        She would have left directly from the planetarium, but her car

would have been noticed after a while, and her collapse gave her the

perfect excuse to leave immediately.  She just had to hang on long enough

to get her car back home where it should be, and then she could leave.

        She wasn't sure what she thought she would find when she got to

Toronto.  A pile of ashes, some burned clothing, maybe?  Why was she

putting herself through this?

        But she knew the answer.  She had to see what was left... she

_had_ to .  Of him, of her.  Of them.  She reached the house just as the

scarlet lined began to course down her cheeks.  She cursed herself

bitterly for all the things she'd left unsaid.  In all this time, she

never told him that she'd forgiven him, and never asked for his

forgiveness in return... Her lips tightened.  If nothing else, she would

keep the ashes.  If she had to fight Lacroix to the death for them, she

would.  But those ashes were hers, and hers alone, to remember him by.

        She went through the house in her mind, remembering to lock the

door, feed the cat, leave a light on so it didn't seem like no one was

home; all the little things that needed doing every night, without fail.

She took the time to drink a half-bottle of blood, just so she could get

there that much faster.  She put the bottle back in the refrigerator, and

was about to head out the door, when she gasped, staggered, and had to

grip the back of the sofa for support.

        He was back.  Admittedly dazed, confused, irrational.  But

there.  And very much alive.  She simply stood there and let her hands

cover her face in utter relief.  She tentatively traced the bond back to

its source, determining his location.  Yes, he was still in Toronto.  And

he was still alive.  She double, triple, and quadruple-checked.  Alive.

        She tried to talk to him, tried to get his attention in any way,

to let her know what was happening.  But the images she got were

confused, conflicting.  He couldn't understand her.  She didn't even

think he knew her.  She saw a vision of Lacroix, standing over him, smiling.

        He was still in danger.

        She was out the door in a flash, and in mere moments was far away.

 

        Nick felt the elevator to his loft finally grind to a stop.  He

staggered to the couch and collapsed on it, feeling his first migraine in

four hundred years coming on.  He'd forgotten how much he hated them.

Nat's words still echoed in his ears.  "You'll still be feeling some side

effects from the litovuterine in your system.  I'd take a couple days off

if I were you.  With the way you've been acting, I'm sure Cohen will give

you some leave."

        "No, no. I'll be fine.  I just need a good day's sleep, that's

all."  He rubbed his forehead.

        Nat rolled her eyes at him.  "Nick, will you stop?  I think we've

just covered the question of your indestructibility.  Don't push it."

        "I'll take two days leave.  It'll give me time to finish the

painting I'm working on."  He looked at her, a patient grin on his face.

"Happy?"

        She smiled wryly.  "Ecstatic.  Now, go home.  Go to bed."  As he

reached the door, she called out.  "And Nick... ?"  He turned to see her

eyes were filled with sadness.  "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

        "Hey, I got my day in the sun."  He raised his arms and examined

himself.  "And came back with only a sunburn."  His smile faltered only

slightly.  "Maybe next time."

 

        Edith circled the city for a while, and in time, narrowed his

location down to a building.  She landed on the roof, assuming he must

live on the top floor.  She couldn't see him, but she could tell he had

no idea she was even there, and that worried her almost as much as

anything else.  And yet... she hesitated.  As it was, she knew he was

alive, and therefore would recover from whatever had happened to him.

She sensed no danger in his thoughts; he didn't need her.  She could slip

away now and not disturb his life here.  Did she really want to push

this?  It had been a long time, after all.  Would she really be welcome?

        She looked out at the skyline and tried to weigh her fears for

her heart against her fears for him.  And in the corner of her eye, she

saw a skylight in a far corner of the roof, not visible from the street.

It was open exactly as wide, she recalled, as another window, in London,

a long time ago.

        She smiled happily, her fears vanishing, and darted through it.





        Deciding he needed a drink before he fell into bed, Nick groaned

and pulled himself upright.  Half a bottle later, he felt much better.

The headache was gone, and he sighed in contentment.  *Excedrin, eat your

heart out.*  He thought he sensed... but he dismissed it.  He was just so

very tired, that was all.  He glanced at the unfinished painting sitting

by the wall, and briefly considered staying up a while to work on it, but

the giant yawn convinced him otherwise.

        Stretching, he started to make his way across the living room to

the stairs, and to bed, when he heard a soft, "Nicholas?"  He looked up

and devoutly hoped he wasn't still hallucinating as he saw a wildly

grinning Edith racing down the stairs.  He sighed ever so softly when her

arms wrapped themselves tightly around his neck, but she didn't hear it.

        Breaking apart, they each took in the other, noting changes here,

similarities there... "You cut your hair short again," Nick touched a

lock that curled around her face.

        She put a hand to her head self-consciously, and laughed.  "Yes.

And I lost the dress _and_ the tight shoes."  She gestured at her

sweatshirt, jeans, and sneakers, and then peered at him, lifting an

eyebrow.  "Besides, who are you to talk?  Don't you own a brush

anymore?"  She grinned.  "You look like you've spent a windy day at

sea."  Her face became a little more serious as she inspected his

sun-reddened face more closely.  "Have you been pushing it close to

sunrise recently?  You look a little toasted."

        Nick hesitated, then smiled wryly.  "No, actually, I was cured

today."  Edith gasped and her eyes widened.  Nick quickly continued, "But

only for today.  The cure didn't work. It... wore off."

        Edith stared at the floor for a moment, fitting her perceptions

from him to actual events.  When she looked up, her eyes were filled with

sadness as she nodded slowly.  "That would explain it.  Oh, Nicholas, I'm

so sorry.  How did this happen?"

        Gesturing to a seat, he began, "Well, it started this morning

when I was giving more blood samples to Nat..."

        Nick repeated the whole story, from when she introduced him to

the new wonder drug, to when he finally got back to his apartment.  Edith

listened attentively, and did not interrupt a single time.  When he

finished, she looked thoughtful.  "So, Nicholas.  You were finally able

to walk im sunlight, if only for a day.  Tell me," she paused a moment,

her eyes earnest, "what was it like?"

        Nick's eyes lit up as an awed smile crossed his face.  "I can't

describe it.  I'd forgotten how very bright the sun was: you couldn't even

look at it!  And it was so warm, you could feel it on your skin like the

touch of a hand.  When you walk into the shade do you remember how your

eyes are blinded for a moment, as if they didn't want to let the light go?"

        She nodded.  "Yes.  I remember."

        He paused for a moment, a thousand things on the tip of his

tongue, and then sighed.  "It was all so beautiful."

        Seeing her warm smile, he asked curiously, "And what about you?

Do you ever wish for the sunlight again?"

        Her face was kind as she shook her head.  "No, Nicholas.  I've

said my goodbyes to the light."  She glanced away, forming the words to

explain.  "The way I see it, I traded the light out there," she gestured

outside, "for a light here," she touched her temple, "and here."  She

laid a hand over her heart, and smiled softly.  "I've never regretted it."

        He nodded, and they both turned to hear the elevator begin

groaning even as they heard a heart beating.  Natalie wandered in, not

even looking up as she dug around in her purse, finally grinning in

triumph and pulling out a syringe.  "Sorry, Nick, but I forgot to do a

couple more tests..."  She barely skipped a beat as she noticed he had a

visitor.  "... but I can do them later."  She smiled, waved

hello/goodbye, and began to back her way into the elevator.

        But Edith was quicker.  "No!  No, no.  It's all right, I was just

leaving."  Natalie gave Nick a questioning glance, while Edith gave him a

rather pointed one.  He nodded to Natalie and said, "It's okay.  I'll be

right there."

        Edith walked to the elevator as Natalie walked to the bedroom and

shut the door (still within hearing distance, of course).  "Are you sure

you don't want to stay a while?  It's been a long time."  Nick's voice

tempted her.

        Edith glanced at her watch.  "No.  I really need to fly if I'm

going to get home before the cat starts to forget whose house it is, and

takes over the place."  Nick still looked doubtful, so she smiled in

reassurance.  "Really.  I'd only get in the way here.  You have your own

life, one that doesn't have room for me.  Perhaps, when you decide to

move on, we can talk then."

        She called out, "Good-bye, Natalie!"  They heard a muffled thump

and some equally muffled curses, and Edith smiled.  *You see what I mean.*

        He glanced fondly up at the bedroom and smiled.  *Yes.  But I

still wish you could stay, if only for a little while.*

        *Oh, I wouldn't worry about my disappearing again.  You'll

probably be hearing from me daily just to make sure you're still out

there!*  She rolled her eyes.  *All it takes is a little drug to make me

completely paranoid!*  She smiled and waved as she stepped into the

elevator.  "I'll be hearing from you, Nicholas."  The spoken comment was

a mental command.

        Natalie came back out of the bedroom when the coast was clear,

looking from the elevator to Nick, and back again.  Walking down the

staircase with a mystified expression, she pointed and asked, "Nick, who

was that?"

        Nixk opened his mouth, and momentarily found himself at a loss

for words.  He glanced out the window and saw a figure navigating thruogh

the high-rises.  But he knew it was still too dark for Nat to notice.

Seeing her raised eyebrows as she waited for his answer, he thought about

what to tell her, and tried to choose from all the responses that

crowded his mind.  He decided finally that simplicity was best.

        "That was my daughter Edith."

 

        Nat gave him a startled glance, and her mouth opened slightly.

"Your daughter?  I didn't know you had created any other vampires...

besides Richard."  Her eyes fell to the floor.  She wondered when the

memory would start to hurt less, and sighed.  *Probably never, I suppose.*

        "Would you like me to tell you about her?"  Nat thought a moment,

and decided she could use some cheering up.  A nice, long story seemed

just the ticket.  She smiled at him, and nodded.

        She had only time to blink before he was sitting on the couch,

with his chest of memorabilia on the table.  He waved her over, then

began to rummage through it, muttering to himself, and ended up taking

half of it out before he cried, "Ah, here it is!"

        She chuckled at his enthusiasm despite herself, and sat down next

to him as he straightened, holding a faded picture of a small, thin man

who gazed solemnly at the camera, he suit only slightly tattered, his

pose straight and stern.

        But his eyes... Nat turned and stared at Nick.  "That's...?"  He

smiled and nodded.  Leaning back on the couch, he draped an arm around

her.  Curious now, she settled in as well, resting her head on his

shoulder, as he began his story, smiling softly at the memory.  "I met

Edward in 1891, in a little port on the northern edge of France..."

 

                                THE END