Subject: The Heart of a Knight Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 12:47:01 -0500 From: Karen To: fkfic@fkvoyage.win.net Inspired by Teddy Bears, childhood innocence and hearts. Many thanks to my good friend Charlotte for reading, and re-reading it as I was writing, and for her continual encouragement to post it. Standard Disclaimers apply. The characters are not mine. F K was created by James Parriot and Barney Cohen and belong to Sony/TriStar. Permission given to archive on the ftp site. The Heart of A Knight written by Karen H. Butt Copyright January 1999 LaCroix' voice, deep and morose filled the darkness of the night. "What is a ? Some faded treasure we hold deep in our hearts, sweetened by time? How many do you hallow as cherished treasures? How many have lapsed from consciousness? Do you suppose that they are what we remember them to be, or are they simply dreams we had just wished for?" There was silence, as if he himself was searching to recall just such a memory. "Close your eyes, mes enfants, and remember ..." Nick turned off the radio; it was almost sunrise as he arrived at Nat's apartment. She had received a large trunk, which, she surmised, contained possessions from her Nanna's old house. He'd promised to spend the day with her to help sort through the items. Natalie and Richard had spent so much time at their Nanna's home when they were growing up, that the trunk, no doubt, would contain memories from their childhood. Nick wanted to be there with her, for her. "Nat, are you here?" He called out as he opened the door "Sorry I'm so late, but Schanke ..." his voice trailed off into silence. He smiled with an impish grin. Natalie was sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace; she hadn't even opened the lock on the old trunk yet. She wasn't sure she wanted to open it. Too many memories, good and bad ... Richard, her Nana. Especially Richard. She missed him so much and wished that things had turned out differently. If only. She let out a long deep sigh. "Hi Nick", she answered him. Nick crossed over to where she was sitting and he quietly joined her there on the floor. His piercing blue eyes fixed on her; he gently brushed her arm with his hand. "Would you like me to open the chest?" He said inquisitively, waiting for a response "Well, one of us has to, or we'll just be sitting here the whole day!" replied Nat, her voice emanating a tone that revealed her relief at his offer. Nick reached over and unlocked the chest. It was crammed with items that belonged to Natalie and Richard when they were children. Amongst the many possessions in the chest, there was a rather unique teddy bear. It wasn't just any ordinary stuffed teddy bear though. It's paws had patches of black and white gingham, and on it's chest, where the bears heart would be, was another patch of gingham, red and white, cut out in the shape of a heart. In the very center of the patch was a tiny gold heart shaped pin, engraved with a solitary initial, "N". Natalie stared at the bear, somehow she had forgotten all about it, a flood of fragmented memories came whooshing back to her. Nick watched as a single tear ran down Nat's face. Nicks gaze moved from Nat to the bear as he slipped from the present into the past. >>>> It was 1968; Nicholas Knight sensed that need to 'move on', again. He had seen 800 years of changes and 'moving on'. Life as a transient meant he was forever changing and reshaping his existence, who he was and what he was about. Always having to leave behind the people he loved and cared about. He wanted to stay in Chicago at little while yet, although he knew that a change was imminent; he wanted to stay where he was, be who he was, a little longer. He really hated starting over, but he had done it so many times, it was the life of a vampire. One could never get too comfortable for too long. Right now though, Nicholas just wanted to escape for awhile. He decided that a trip to Northern Ontario may prove refreshing. The night air in the northern wilderness would revive him and perhaps he would find new meaning to his seemingly endless eternity of darkness. The Lambert family was planning on a great vacation. It was the first time Natalie and Richard would be going camping and they were excited about the trip to Algonquin Park. "Mommy, I want to bring Bear with me, he would be afraid if he was left all alone while I was gone, can I bring him, pleeeease?" Natalie's mother smiled at her daughter, Natalies eyes filled with the innocent anticipation of childhood. "Yes, you can bring Bear, we wouldn't want him to be scared and alone". "Thanks mommy!" squealed Natalie with delight. Bear was her best friend, she had received him for her fifth birthday, just last year, and he was the best gift she had ever had. Natalie never dared go away and leave Bear behind. She tucked him safely into the duffel bag that her mother had already prepared for her. Nick's flight from Chicago to the Toronto Airport was uneventful. He sat in solemn reverie for the short night flight. He didn't really like planes. He was planning on taking a taxi from the airport to just outside the city limits. From there he would take to the sky himself. One thing he did love about being a vampire was flying, on his own, without the aid of big metal birds! It was a beautiful night! He *was* going to enjoy himself, even if for just a few nights. Nick had been to Algonquin Park once before and on arriving, was pleased to discover that it was just as exhilarating and as wonderful as he had remembered. He was going to 'rough it' on this visit. There was a cave a safe distance from any travelers vacationing at the park and that would be his refuge during the day. When the night came, he would roam freely through the forests. As he made himself comfortable in the cave, he began to see the first glimmers of sunrise. Nick moved further to the back of the cavern where he would spend the rest of the day sleeping in quiet solitude. It was a beautiful sunrise, Natalie loved sunrise! "Look mommy, look!" squealed Natalie as she pointed and stared at the first beautiful rays of sunlight. The yellows and oranges and golds were breathtaking. Natalie always loved to watch the miracle of the morning. She peered out from the car window in awesome wonder as they traveled the highway northward. For a child of such young age, she was fascinated with anything about science. She wanted to know 'why' and 'how' to everything. "Someday", said Natalie, "I'm going to be the *best* scientist ever!" She continued the conversation, quietly whispering to Bear as she clutched her precious companion closer to her. It was late afternoon by the time the Lamberts finally reached their destination. Richard and Natalie were too excited to sit still any longer as they clamored out of the car. Natalie was old enough to help her father with the tent, while Richard watched as his father hammered each tent stake securely into the ground. Just then Natalie heard a rustle in the trees next to the campsite. She stared in gleeful anticipation as she watched and waited to see what might emerge from the trees. She moved closer and closer to the edge of the camp. "It's a bunny" she whispered to Bear, "lets go see him". Natalie quickly moved closer to the bunny. "Shhhh", she said to Bear, as she pressed one finger to her lips "we can't make any noise or he'll run away". At that the rabbit spied her inevitable approach and turned and scurried into the forest. Natalie was in quick pursuit of the furry creature. "There he is, over there" she pointed as she whispered to Bear. The rabbit scooted away again, deeper into the trees. Natalie was oblivious to how far she had wondered away from the campsite, but she *needed* to see that bunny. Her curiosity luring her further and further into the forest, and farther away from the safety of her family. The sun was down; Nick rose from his slumber. He didn't even mind having slept on the ground. It was just refreshing to be away from everything. Tonight he wouldn't think about his work at the Chicago Police Department. Tonight, he would roam freely though the forest. Suddenly, there was a swoosh, Nick turned to the direction of the sound. "LaCroix", he muttered under his breath. "My, my Nicholas, you *do* know how to pick a "vacation spot" don't you?" LaCroix' voice was deep and sullen, his lip curled up as he smiled shrewdly at his wayward son. "Have you come here to rejoin the fold Nicholas? Perhaps on a *hunt*? Or perhaps you have come here to seek your 'humanity' amongst the trees." Nick glared at him. "Why are you here LaCroix? Why can't you ever, even just once, let me be alone?" "Nicholas, you know that I can *never* be far from you. You are my child, and, like every parent, I worry about *my* children. You should be grateful Nicholas. I *do* worry about you." Nicks eyes turned golden and his fangs began to descend, he turned to LaCroix, "Leave me!", he growled in a low tone at his master. "That's very good Nicholas, let the beast out ..." In a swoosh, LaCroix took to the sky and was gone. Nick felt the vampire subside as his eyes changed back from gold to blue. It was dark, so dark. Natalie clung to Bear. "I'm cold and hungry, where am I?" she sobbed. There were sounds of the night everywhere around her. She was scared, but was trying ever so hard to be brave. She could see the moon shinning through the trees. She knew it was late, the moon was high and very bright. At least there was a moon. She was getting so tired; she had been walking and walking but couldn't find the camp. Natalie didn't know that her efforts to find the way back had plunged her deeper into the forest and farther away. Every step she took put more distance between her and her now frantic parents. There was a search party being organized back at the camp to find the young child. It was already close to midnight and Natalies mother felt as though a stake had been driven through her heart. "How could she have slipped out of my sight?" She kept repeating this over and over again between deep sobs. "She's my child, I'm suppose to protect her, keep her safe ... how did she slip away ... how could I have let this happen?" Her husband held her tight "We *will* find her, I promise", he tried to soothe her." Nick was enjoying the night air. He had been walking through the dense forest and every now and then took to the sky for an overhead view of his surroundings. LaCroix had left, and, to Nick's pleasure, had not returned. Perhaps this time, he would let Nick be alone. Nicks sensitive vampiric hearing suddenly picked up on a sound that did not belong to the night. A child's soft sobbing. Nick wondered what a child would be doing out here, he quickly took flight to follow the sound and spotted the tiny girl curled up beside a fallen tree. He was careful to land at some distance from the child so as not to startle her. She is very frightened he thought to himself. He approached her, calling out gently.... "It's alright, don't be afraid, I not going to hurt you", the little girl looked up, her face streaked with tears, her long chestnut brown hair tangled, her eyes still wet with tears. She clung tightly to a teddy bear and stared at Nick, her sobs shaking her tiny frame. Nick looked deep into the child's eyes and in a low quiet voice spoke "you're safe now, I won't let anything or anyone hurt you. Do you understand?" The girl repeated "safe now". He took off his coat and wrapped her in it, then cradled her. It wasn't long before she was fast asleep in Nick's arms. The nearest camp was miles from this place; Nick wondered how long the little girl had been lost. She must have walked for hours to have come this far. He didn't know where to begin to look for her family, and it wasn't safe to leave her alone while he searched. He decided, for the time being, to just stay there and hold her. Nick glanced down at the sleeping girl. She *was* a beautiful child, and she looked like an angel as she slept in his arms. He planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. A cold breeze of night air swept across Nick. "Nicholas" came the unwelcome voice, "so you *have* been hunting?" LaCroix said with great pleasure in his tone. "And such a beauty at that! But really Nicholas, such tiny prey, this will hardly satisfy your appetite ... yet, then again, such innocence may be more than enough! Are you going to share?" Nicks anger was unleashed, his eyes where red, his fangs fully extended. "She is a *child* LaCroix! You are relentless!" Nicholas growled with the full force of the vampire beast that was within him "leave me before I hurt you!" his voice deep and strong. LaCroix laughed smugly, "Nicholas, you are a *vampire* ... it is your heritage, when will you see that I am right? You will come back to me Nicholas, you *are* mine, and you will *always* be mine. This endless obsessive search for humanity *will* end ... I promise you that, you will return to me." Nick fixed his vampire eyes on his father, glowing red with anger. "No LaCroix, I will *never* surrender my soul to you!" LaCroix' tone grew deeper as he snarled "Drink of her life, Nicholas, feed the hunger!" A chilling laugh and LaCroix was gone. The child had slept through the encounter with LaCroix; Nick was relieved that she had not wakened. The vampire, once again, under control. Nick had won this particular battle with his father, but there would be more, many more, he was sure. LaCroix would never give up. "NATALIE!" "WHERE ARE YOU?" "NATALIE, CAN YOU HERE US?" "NATALIE!" Nick heard the search party from far, they must be at least 2 miles or more from here, he thought to himself. His sensitive hearing could pick up the voices long before any human would. "So that is your name ... Natalie", he whispered softly to the sleeping child. "Well Natalie, I think it's time you woke and we lead these people to find you, what do you think?" It would be dawn in just over an hour, Nick would have to leave and return to the safety of the cavern. He was glad that Natalie would be found, but in a way he was sad, he wished he could keep her, this angel. "Wake up Natalie" he spoke softly as he rocked her, "Wake up, they're coming for you". Natalie opened her eyes and greeted Nick with a simile. The tears where gone. "Natalie, we need to make a small fire here" Nick pointed out a spot on the ground, "that way, your mommy and daddy will be able to find you, can we do that?" Natalie smiled up at Nick with angelic trust and nodded. They gathered a few sticks and Nick very cautiously started a fire to guide the search party closer. "They're close now, and will be here soon to take you home". Natalie looked up, her eyes now sad; "Can you come with me?" she asked. "No, I cannot do that, I cannot stay with you", Nick replied sadly. Natalie's hair framed her tiny angelic face, oh how he *wanted* to stay! Nick reached into his jacket and undid the lapel pin he had on. It was a tiny pin, gold, and heart shaped. It was engraved with his first initial "N". He held the pin in his hand. "Natalie, let me see your teddy bear". Natalie held the bear up and handed it to Nick. He placed the pin securely into the middle of the red and white gingham heart sown on the bear's chest. Crouching down low, so that he could look into Natalies eyes, he placed the bear in her arms, "You will forget me Natalie, but you will remember this night, and that this pin is my heart ... I will always remember you, I promise." Natalie looked at the pin then back at Nick. She hugged him tight, her tiny arms barely fitting around his neck. He kissed her gently on the top of her head. "NATALIE!" "NATALIE!" "WHERE ARE YOU?" "CAN YOU HEAR US!" came the calls now within human hearing. The fire Nick had started sent smoke billowing up into the sky above the trees. It was beckoning the searchers in the direction of Natalie. "You need to answer them now Natalie, can you do that? Can you call back to them?" Nick asked her. "Yes" said Natalie as she nodded, "Then call them, call them now Natalie", she turned to the voices calling her and Nick flew up into the trees, out of sight, but close enough to ensure her safety and close enough that he could watch without being seen. "MOMMY! DADDY! I'M HERE!" Natalie called with all the power she could muster, clutching close the teddy bear with the golden heart. She was scooped up into her daddy's arms, tears running down his face. "Oh Natalie, my Natalie, thank God you're safe!" he sobbed into his daughters tangled hair. Nick watched until the search party, and Natalie, were no longer in sight. Maybe he *would* find humanity here amongst the trees after all. <<<< "Nick? Nick?" Nat was calling. "What, huh?" Nick shook himself from his reverie. "Nick?" "Another place ... another time" he answered softly. "I can't believe I forgot about Bear!" Natalie was saying. "I got him for my fifth birthday, from Richard." She paused a moment, "We went camping the next summer and I took this teddy bear with me. I got lost. I was cold and I was scared." Nat stopped, and looked at Nick with some bewilderment, something familiar tugged at her memory. She continued, " ... there was a man ... I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went. I remember he held me all night and I felt safe. I wanted him to come home with me." she giggled, and reflected on the thought for a moment. Nat's eyes started to fill with tears, her voice beginning to quiver as she touched the heart shaped pin. "He pinned this gold heart on my bear and told me that it was *his heart*. Strange, I can't seem to remember anything else about it, except that it was special. I can't believe I forgot about this." She brushed the tears from her face. Nick smiled at Nat; he reached over and touched the gold pin, then pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her chestnut brown hair. She still looks angelic, he thought to himself and then softly whispered, " *I* haven't forgotten Natalie, I haven't forgotten." Fin. Comments and Teddy Bears to: khb@nobelmed.com