Date: Mon, 14 Aug 1995 20:12:34 -0400 From: Catherine A Siemann Subject: The Return of the Repressed (1/1) This is my first posting to the fiction list, and I hope it amuses. I wrote it weeks ago but I've been too shy to post it. I just subscribed to FKSPOILR and to my horror saw my "punchline" as someone else's one-liner. (This happened for *two* stories I've written -- guess I'd better get out of the humor biz. . . ) I freely admit to lifting one of my jokes from Cousin Celeste, to whom I therefore dedicate the story. Comments and flames (gentle, please!) to cas47@columbia.edu __________________________________________________________ The Return of the Repressed by Catherine Siemann All that week, the excitement in the air among the Toronto vampire community was palpable. Even Nick Knight, associating almost exclusively with mortals as he did, caught the buzz. Janette! Returning to Toronto for the first time in several years! The owner of the Raven had been both well-known and quite popular (not always the same thing) among Ontario's vampires. Though Alma and Miklos had been carrying on in her absence, the Raven without Janette was like Rick's Cafe Americain without Humphrey Bogart -- the style was there, the service was there, but the substance was lacking. So even Nick managed to steel himself for an all-vampire gathering in order to attend Janette's homecoming at the Raven, which he had frequented hardly at all in her absence. Nearly every vampire in Toronto was there, all come to pay tribute to the woman who had brought them together with her hospitality and her inimitable style. Janette . . . "Have some wine, Nicholas," Nick found Lucien LaCroix at his side. "And toast to the return of our lovely Janette!" Nick sniffed the glass suspiciously, almost surprised that there was no odor of human blood. LaCroix caught his quizzical glance. "Nicholas, there is nothing in the glass but wine. Much as I disapprove of your unnatural habits, I am more concerned that we celebrate the return of our dear Janette." The two vampires looked at each other. There was little else that they might agree on, but both were sincere in raising their glasses, and crying "For Janette!" Nick raised the glass and drank it down, trying not to notice how much more appealing LaCroix's blood-laced draught smelled, compared to his own unadulterated wine. "My, my," said a familiar voice in his ear. He turned, and there she was. Beautiful, with her blood-red lipstick and her black gown, Janette was as glamorous as ever. "Even Nicolas graces my homecoming." Nick was spellbound. Perhaps it is true that absence makes the heart grown fonder, but he hadn't remembered feeling this strongly about Janette -- not for centuries. He felt an uncomfortable stirring around his fangs, and tried hard to think of Natalie. But just then, a spotlight was shifted onto Janette, and she mounted the Raven's stage to the thundering applause of Toronto's vampires. "I would like to thank you all for coming here tonight. It is indeed gratifying to know that I have been missed. But now I have returned to my home. I have a surprise for you tonight. After all these years, I finally have made a child of my own. I guarantee you, she is well worthy to be a part of our community. She has fire, she has spirit. She will be an asset to our kind! She is a young American drama student who I met in London." A short brunette woman joined Janette on the stage. Nobody had noticed her, but as she entered the spotlight, they saw her long thick hair, her black minidress, the velvet choker that matched Janette's. And every one of them could see that, young and pretty as she might be, this was a woman who was not going to take any crap from anybody. Ever. "Vampires of Toronto, I present to you . . . Brenda Walsh!" * * * * Later, Janette and Brenda sat in Janette's private room, drinking one last glass of blood-and-wine and talking about all the cute vampire guys who had come to Toronto since Janette's departure. That Javier Vachon definitely had possibilities. "So Nick's kinda like your Dylan, your first love who you just can't get over," mused Brenda. "I mean, it's not like you don't talk about him all the time, but seeing you together it was just so obvious that . . . . " "There is a bond between Nicolas and I that can never be broken. But he loves the mortal Natalie now." "Boyfriend-stealing b--ch! Just like Kelly took Dylan from me." muttered Brenda. She looked at Janette with those big brown eyes, the eyes that her vampire "mother" found it as hard to say no to as Jim and Cindy Walsh had for all her mortal years. "Can't I mess her up for you? Like what I did to Kelly when you and I went back to Beverly Hills?" Janette sighed, fondly but resignedly. "You know it was wrong, what you did to Kelly. From now on, you are to save that kind of behavior for those who truly deserve it. From now on, you are only to torture and kill . . . television executives. Especially those who think they can do without *us*!" Be afraid. Be very afraid. * * * * Next week on Forever Knight, 90210: LaCroix looked sternly at Janette. "I can accept that you chose Brenda as your child. But I will never understand why you brought those two across. They are rude, insufferable, and they seems to think I'm some kind of fashion designer!" He gestured to two brightly-clad fashion victims "of a certain age", one of them tall, blonde and unnaturally thin, the other shorter, brunette and just a little chunky, who hung swaying drunkenly near the edge of the Raven dance floor. "Pats, sweetie-darling, don't you think you ought to have just a *little* blood in your wine this time?" "Eddy, I think we're in heaven. We can never grow older, we can never gain weight, and we get to hang out with our favourite designer, Lacroix, all the time! Isn't his outfit tonight to die for?" Janette smiled evilly. "It was a favor to Roseanne." LaCroix gasped in horror. "Not . . . not . . ." as a familiar voice with a midwestern twang called out "Hey! Got any decent blood around this place or what?" The END