Subject: Filk: Back to Broadway FK Style 01/03 Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2003 06:14:27 -0700 From: Patty Costantino To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU In celebration of FK's imminent arrival on DVD, I composed some more filks, whether you want them or not. I highly recommend viewing the pictures with these, located at my web site: http://www.geocities.com/pas_20197/homepage08.html Please let me know what you think. Disclaimers: The FK characters and show, and the Broadway tunes do not belong to me. I'm just borrowing them. Thanks to Phylis for beta reading. Permission granted to archive at FTP, FKFanfic2 sites. ********************************** One Lusty Evening By Patty Costantino Aug 2003 ********************************* IMO, this Rodgers and Hammerstein’s song from South Pacific, Some Enchanted Evening, was the perfect melody and set the mood for Lacroix and Janette’s first encounter with Nick. It’s from Janette’s point of view. ********************************* One lusty evening I saw my disillusioned crusader I saw my papal invader Across a crowded tavern I lured him to a hollow cavern (It was my usual seductive pattern) And I knew, I knew in that dark den My eternal lover would he be, even then One lusty evening Brought him to Lacroix to be mastered As I knew he was very plastered Ten thousand lifetimes enticed my brave knight Turning him away from the heavenly light But the mortal killings, thought he, were not right And I knew, I knew even then Our master, would he try to contend Why didn’t we explain it? Why didn’t we tell him all? Deception was our plan Honesty would’ve been our downfall One lusty evening His impulsive nature and drunken state Made him my an eternal playmate Sadness washed over me When my dark knight asked to be set free As moral weakness had made him carefree And I knew, I knew even then The wrongs, would he strive to amend Once I had found him I wanted him so Once Lacroix found him He wouldn’t let him go ********************************** One Magical Evening By Patty Costantino Aug 2003 ********************************* The same Rodgers and Hammerstein’s song from South Pacific, Some Enchanted Evening to reflect a contrast of Nick’s initial encounter with Janette and Lacroix, and with Natalie. It’s from Natalie’s point of view. ********************************* One magical evening On my birthday, I received a gift A body bag, with a blond-haired stiff Across my stainless steel autopsy bed He didn’t look so bad or really dead (Just very pale and underfed) And I knew, I knew even then I would have liked to know him as a friend One magical evening I saw my true love to be I saw my knight rise up and flee Across the green-tiled morgue He gulped down a blood pack from my hoard Like he was at some kind of smorgasbord And I knew, I knew even then Watching him as he started to mend I wanted him to be more than just a friend I couldn’t explain it I couldn’t tell him why Real love was my motive Solving a puzzle, a lie One magical evening My true love didst I receive A hero of sorts, I truly believe For try, he did, to stop a gang war A bomb dropping on him, with which he bore Saving souls, something for which he swore And I knew, I knew even then His tattered soul, I would try to mend Once I had found him I loved him so Once I had found him I didn’t want to let him go ********************************** To be continued --------------------------------- Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software Subject: Filk: Back to Broadway FK Style 02/03 Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2003 06:27:07 -0700 From: Patty Costantino To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Disclaimers in Part 01 ********************************** I Feel Perky By Patty Costantino Aug 2003 ********************************* I thought this Bernstein/Sondheim tune from West Side Story, I Feel Pretty, had the right amount of perkiness for Tracy Vetter. (BTW, Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler sing a funny version of this tune in their movie, Anger Management.) ********************************* (Castanets and tambourine) I feel perky Oh so perky I feel perky and cheerful and gay And I’m fearful I’ve had too much caffeine today I get squeamish And look so greenish A mutilated corpse makes me sick I run to the bathroom real quick Those times I’m not such a great ‘dick’ My partner listens to Nightcrawler on CERK While I’m swamped with *our* paperwork But wearing a perky face With a perky tie I complete each case file With a perky smile I feel stunning Oh so entrancing Feel like running, and dancing for joy For I care for an evil vamp boy At twelve, I strived to become a girl guide, come what may Merit badges in native legends being my forte My dog’s name was Sparky, who wasn’t a stray My partner asked if I had a cat named Muffy, to my dismay My mom drinks wine ‘til she’s drunk As she thinks the commissioner such a skunk (La la) The police academy, she wanted me to flunk Hoping I’d settle down with a hunk I went to change a tire on my car Outside of the Raven Bar (La la) When a psychopath kidnapped me to somewhere afar Where appendages laid pickling in a jar (s) My own person, I want to be But daddy hinders my desire to be free Corporate Crime is where he sent me Wearing my perky tie The work, I did try (La la) But, insubordinate was I So the job did not fly!!! I feel perky Oh so perky I should get that tattoo But daddy Would think it taboo (La la lalalalala!) I feel dizzy I feel sunny I feel fizzy, and funny and fine And so perky I think I’ll alphabetize my fridge items one more time (La la lalalalala!) My partner visits the lovely M.E. While I’m swamped with *our* casework, you see But wearing a perky face With a perky tie I complete each case file (Going that extra mile) With that perky smile I feel stunning Oh so entrancing Feel like running, and dancing for joy For I’m in love with an evil vamp boy ********************************** Death is What I Wanted in the End By Patty Costantino Aug 2003 ********************************* This Leo Robin/Jule Styne tune, Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend, sung by Marilyn Monroe in the movie Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, seemed to fit Urs, who emitted the same, sad vulnerability like the late actress. ********************************* After being down and out, and jobless A dancer, am I, with leather pants and bodice I’m not considered very modest Tho’ the owner thinks me an innocent goddess A bite on the neck, damnation for eternity Death is what I wanted in the end My un-life is a wreck, depression a certainty This deathless state Is now my miserable fate At times, I become so depressed Death is what I obsess Javier, you really made a mess Made me really stressed Crossing me wasn’t for the best Death is what I wanted in the end Daddy figures are whom I prefer Approval from them I desire for sure But pain and hurt is what I incur For my vulnerable nature and enticing allure Ellen… Monica…Jacqueline, whomever A bad indiscretion gave her forever Helping her was my endeavor To cope, her mind did sever But death was what she wanted in the end Tired of running with Vachon’s crew I spend my nights at the Raven and brood But then My sights turn to another daddy Whose son drives that ‘62 Caddy Now, death isn’t what I want in the end ****************************************** To be continued --------------------------------- Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software Subject: Filk: Back to Broadway FK Style 03/03 Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2003 06:33:37 -0700 From: Patty Costantino To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Disclaimers in Part 1 ********************************** Come to Papa By Patty Costantino Aug 2003 ********************************* I thought this Hammerstein/Rodgers tune, Oklahoma, was a good one for ol’ Schank. ********************************* Myra’s aunt says another spring, I won’t see A fitness fascist, Myra has made me So pass the watercress, sprouts, and tofu I’m now a health food guru! Myra’s cholesterol rampage Fills me with such rage Her cousin had a heart attack Carrots and celery are my snacks What’s the point of celery without the sour cream and dip? This rabbit food is driving me crazy; I’m about to flip Enough of these dang @@#$% diets! It’s time to put aside this crap and riot! Come…to…. Papa! Souvlaki with lots of onions or just plain Pizza, garlic or without, I don’t complain Donuts contribute to my full-figured frame Yo, did y’ know, ‘Donut Don’ is my nickname? Come…to…papa A double latte, one for me, one for Cohen, from Buck Stars To schmooz the Captain, it will get me far The Partner of the Month plaque I’ve missed so far Man ol’ Man, I should’ve offered to clean her car Pass the lard, pass the butter Hasta La Bye Bye! To the greens and health food druthers Fat to the max! Is what I say! Come…to…. Papa! Come to papa… Yippee… I… o… ok! ********************************* To be the Irresponsible Slacker By: Patty Costantino Aug 2003 ********************************* IMO, this Mitch Leigh/Joe Darion song, To Dream the Impossible Dream, from Man of La Mancha fits Javier Vachon. ********************************* To be the irresponsible slacker To run from my mortal attacker To hang with my eternal backers To be unsupportable, not even a computer hacker To fly by plane to places afar To be the best Spanish bum by far, To slum it by day, playing my guitar To sit at night at the Raven bar This is my quest, I do truly confess To shirk from duty, being irresponsible Carefree, heedless and unaccountable But, my cause Does give me pause And, thanks to Knight and Vetter I strive to be better The Mississauga Indian's claim and such Makes me a concerned citizen, thank you very much Stop the mega-mall, Robinson, and his greedy bunch Or I warn you! I’ll have them for lunch!!!! Saving Tracy Vetter, from peril and distress Is what I strive to do and do it at my best Her escort, I whammy, sending him to his home address Oops! I blew her cover, making a thorough mess! Damn! She looks hot in that black dress! To be the number one informer To play backup for Charro, as an ace performer To buy Brook Brothers suits with flared cuts What! Vetter!? Have you gone nuts? Moi! A GQ model *and* conformer!!!!!? To be the honorable conquistador To live up to my worth once more To take my quipus*, I should’ve before To stop senseless killing of which I abhor This is my fate, this is my following To kill Vudu without stalling To help Tracy with homicidal cases, my calling Oops! In love with her I’m falling To smell her scent of calla lilies, something I truly adore To taste her flavor of apricots, a temptation I must ignore Refrain: To be the honorable conquistador To live up to my worth once more To take my quipus*, I should’ve before To stop senseless killing of which I abhor ********************************* ********************************* Ratsies are so Loverly By: Patty Costantino Aug 2003 ********************************* This Lerner and Lowe song, Wouldn’t It be Loverly, from My Fair Lady, seemed to be a good fit for Screed and his Natsie and ratsies. ********************************* It's rather dull in town; I think I'll take me to Vegas. Mmmmmm. With me bills to play the slots Me change in me pocket, ‘m blessed! Ratsies nearby, their vino wot the best Mmmm, Mmmm, ratsies are so loverly All I want is a squat somewhere, To hang me ratsies on a line in pairs. To sip their vino without a care, Aow, ratsies are so loverly That Natsie, a nice bit o’ toast Sharing me squat with ‘er, playing the host Eating fat ratsies with ‘er, would be the most Aow, Natsie is so loverly Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still. With me Natsie, she fit’s the bill With ratsies, we can have our fill Natsie’s 'ead restin' on my knee, Cool an' tender as she can be. 'ho takes good care of me, Aow, Natsie is so loverly Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly [REPEAT] ************************************ *Note: quipus: eternal orders from Vachon and Inca’s master. (Black Buddha Pt 2.) Hope I put that smile on your face with these funny filks. Please feed me with feedback at psmoot@hotmail.com or pas_21097@yahoo.com Flames will be sent to light Janette’s cigarettes. --------------------------------- Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software