If you don't approve of bisexuality, don't enjoy non-explicit (IMHO) 
sex scenes, and don't like the idea of an author changing the gravitational 
constants of the FK universe a little,  then don't read this.  Otherwise, 
enjoy!  Comments may be sent to: steff@jbx.com 
  
                              BLOOD AND FIRE 
                                     by 
                                 Darkangel 
  
  
        Nick turned off the VCR, tears of laughter staining his cheeks 
red as he shook with uncontrolled mirth.  "I can't believe anyone would 
actually watch this stuff and believe it!" 
        Natalie stopped chuckling long enough to reply.  "Oh, like 
anybody could actually believe 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' was a true 
story!"  She grinned.  They'd been celebrating Halloween by renting as 
many bad vampire movies as they could find.  They'd started with the 
original "Nosferatu" and worked their way forward to the modern films. 
They had watched the films on the couch, and Nat found herself curled up 
against Nick's chest and paying more attention to him than the movies. 
Nick, however, had been engrossed in the tapes.  Nat watched him, 
wondering when he would notice how close they were and push her away. 
        Nick ruffled her hair and grinned.  "Thanks for a fun evening, 
Nat."  To her surprise he hugged her tighter.  She returned the 
friendly hug.  She felt the warmth in the pit of her stomach, felt 
her pulse quicken as he held her, the embrace no longer just friendly.  She 
looked up at him, to find his face just inches from hers.  She felt his 
cool lips against hers, gently at first, than more demanding as the kiss 
grew deeper.  She felt her blush as the kiss brought to life all the fantasies 
she'd had lying alone at night, and then she was in his lap, pressed full 
against him, and felt her hunger, her rush of desire as his lips moved along 
her jaw, to her neck...Then his fangs pressed against her skin, and she felt 
the joy of giving herself to him, felt herself come from the intense pleasure... 
        Then she was alone on his hardwood floor, cold and horrified. 
His eyes blazed yellow, and blood - her blood! - was dripping from his fangs. 
"Is this what you want me to be for you?"  He snarled.  "You want to die for 
me?"  Cold tendrils of fear laced through her, and cut off the last waves of 
passion.  And then he was gone, and she was crying, sobbing at the 
realization that if they had continued she'd have been dead by now. 
  
        She drove home in the cold night air, her eyes puffy from tears. 
Death would almost be better than this loneliness, and the knowledge that 
the pain stemmed from the loss of his teeth in her which had given them 
that oneness, if only for a moment.  She hated herself for wanting it, 
and hated him for making her feel that way.  As the night air brought 
back her awareness of reality, the feelings dissipated slightly.  It was 
replaced with worry, for Nick must be as horrified, or more so, than 
she. 
        She arrived home to find a message on her answering machine from 
him, which he must have left just before she reached home.  It was full 
of sorrow, guilt, anger, and choked-back tears. 
        "Nat, I'm sorry...I need some time alone, to deal with this. 
I'll call you..."  She felt anger - how could he not let her help him? 
After all, she thought they had been getting closer to bringing him back 
across.  As long as they didn't let their desire for each other get in 
the way, he could keep himself in control, couldn't he? 
  
        The Raven was as loud and dark as she remembered it.  Jeanette 
was in a shadowy booth in the corner, watching the dancers and sipping 
from a wine glass. 
        "Have you seen Nick?"  Nat was beyond politeness, full of worry 
and slightly wary of being in a club filled with the undead. 
        "Ah, Dr. Lambert.  Would you like a drink?"  Jeanette seemed 
slightly surprised, and her voice held a tone of annoyance. 
        "Yes, thank you - scotch, neat." 
        Jeanette raised an eyebrow as the bartender moved away from the booth 
to fill the order.  "Nicholas causing trouble again?" She took a delicate 
sip from her glass, watching Natalie's face. 
        Natalie looked down at the table to keep Jeanette from reading 
her expression.  "He took off rather suddenly, and I though he might come 
here." 
        Jeanette set down her glass and leaned to look at the coroner. 
Nat, still staring at the table, untied the scarf at her neck with 
shaking fingers, knowing that if she spoke she would begin to cry again. 
Having no desire to show her weakness to the vampiress, she removed the 
kerchief and tilted her head to expose the torn flesh at her neck. 
        "I see." Jeanette paused as she put the story together. Knowing how 
Nick felt about Natalie, it had only been a matter of time before he 
showed his love in the way that came naturally to him.  "Did you enjoy him?" 
        It was a question Nat should have expected from Nick's lover, but 
it took her by surprise.  Tears spilled unbidden down her cheeks.  "Can I 
have one of those?" she asked, indicating Jeanette's pack of cigarettes. 
        Jeanette waved her hand in uncaring consent, enjoying the 
coroner's misery too much to care about her cigarettes.  This could be 
the perfect chance to make Nick forget his silly ideas about becoming 
mortal!  She hid her glee behind an expression of concern, and watched 
Natalie smoke the cigarette with the slight wince of unaccustomedness 
that all non-smokers got upon trying their first cigarette.  She took 
Natalie's free hand.  "You want it again, don't you?  His bite..." 
        Natalie gave in and sobbed.  "Why did he have to do this?  Why 
couldn't we just be together?" 
        "He could not help it, cherie.  He is what he is, as we all are.  Of 
course, if he'd had the sense to feed regularly, his hunger wouldn't have 
comsuned him so." 
        Nat drained the scotch she bartender set in front of her before 
he could even leave.  He looked at Jeanette, who nodded imperceptibly, 
and set the entire bottle before Natalie, who poured another glass 
without even thinking about it. 
  
        Two hours and an entire bottle of scotch later, Natalie had run 
out of tears.  Jeanette, tired of hearing Natalie talk about Nick, 
convinced her to dance.  Nat didn't even notice that the club was closed, 
or that they were the only ones in the bar.  Jeanette put on some soft 
music and held the drunken coroner up with her vampire strength.  They 
swayed in time to the music, and Natalie sighed. 
        "Jeanette?" 
        "Yes, cherie?" 
        "You're a lot nicer than I ever thought." 
        Jeanette smiled.  This was working out nicely.  "And you, my dear 
doctor, are much drunker than I thought." 
  
        Nat awoke in a huge, four-poster canopy bed that was definitely 
not hers.  She remembered talking to Jeanette, and a lot of scotch, but 
nothing after that...She looked at her watch, realizing she was late for 
work.  She stood and started to dress, and someone had put her here in 
only her underthings.  She was just buttoning up her shirt when Jeanette 
came in, bearing a tray. 
        "I ordered out for some breakfast for you...I didn't think you 
could partake in what we eat around here." She grinned wolfishly.  "I 
also called your office and told them you weren't feeling well.  They 
don't expect you for a few more days.  I thought you might need the time." 
        "Thanks...I take it I'm at the Raven still?" 
        "Well, I didn't think it would be a good idea if you drove home 
in the state you were in, cherie.  An no, I still haven't seen Nick." 
        Anger at him shot through her.  Her fingers went to her neck, and felt 
the tender spot there, and remembered... 
        "Come now, he'll show up sometime.  He always does."  Jeanette 
could understand this feeling.  Over the centuries she had become 
accustomed to Nick disappearing at inopportune moments, but she always 
missed him anyway. 
        Natalie sat and began to eat.  The breakfast of croissants and 
fruit was superb, and quelled the nausea in her stomach from the night of 
drinking.  She paused.  "I hope I haven't been too much of a bother..." 
        Jeanette smiled.  "Don't be silly.  Everyone needs friends." 
        Nat returned the smile weakly.  "Even you?" 
        The vampiress looked at her for a moment.  "If you'll excuse me, I 
have my own breakfast waiting..." 
        Natalie grinned, sense of humour returning.  "Nice to know I'm 
not on the menu - being vampire food twice in twenty-four hours isn't my 
idea of fun." 
-- 
 	A week later Nat found herself at the Raven again.  She had been 
coming every night after work to see Jeanette - the only woman she could 
talk to, as this was not a situation to discuss with her mortal friends. 
She wasn't too surprised that Nick had called in a undefined leave 
of absence, but it still hurt to know that he wouldn't talk to her about 
it.  After all, he had come to her with everything else...  Her neck was 
almost completely healed, but when she turned her head too quickly she 
could still feel it.  Every time she did it made her angry, angry that he 
could make her body desire her own death. 
        She felt someone behind her, and turned around.  "Jeanette!"  She 
hugged the vampiress without thinking, and almost spilled her ever-present 
glass of blood.  "Oops, sorry." 
        "It's okay, cherie." Jeanette smiled. 
        "Want to dance?"  Nat dragged Jeanette out among the throng of 
mortals and lit one of Jeanette's cigarettes.  They moved with the music, 
anonymous among the crowd.  Natalie was reminded of her college 
girlfriend...  She would have gladly dated Jeanette had the vampiress 
been mortal.  She'd known that since that first twilight when Jeanette 
brought her breakfast after tolerating her drunkenness the night before. 
But after what happened with Nick she wasn't about to let herself get 
closer than friends... 
        Jeanette let herself have a flashback as they held each other on 
the dance floor, and thought of the last mortal woman she'd loved.  It 
was before she'd met Nick, but LaCroix had killed her before she could 
turn her.  She sighed.  Over the past week she'd discovered why Nick 
found her so attractive.  She just hoped she could convince her to 
willingly come across.  If the coroner would let herself be turned, than 
Nick would no longer have her help in regaining mortality, LaCroix 
couldn't drain her like just another dinner, and she'd have someone for 
herself... 
        The song ended, and Jeanette kissed Nat impulsively. Natalie 
froze.  Jeanette felt her tension, and hugged her close.  "Oh, cherie, don't 
you know that I'm not Nick?  *I* can control my hunger - after all, it's not 
as if I'm living on cow blood and protein shakes.  At the moment, I don't 
think I *could* drink anymore." 
        Natalie, still tense, raised one eyebrow.  "Nick said he could 
control himself, too, regardless of hunger." 
        The vampiress laughed.  "And since when can men control 
themselves when it comes to lust?"  She kissed Natalie passionately, 
enough that she had to take care to keep her fangs from showing 
themselves, and drew back.  "See, cherie?"  She smiled to revealed a 
perfectly normal set of teeth.  She felt Natalie relax in her arms, and 
felt victorious.  "Come, let's have a drink." 
  
  
        Natalie woke up slowly, feeling delicious.  She wondered if 
Jeanette knew that she snored...  She laughed softly to herself.  It had 
been a month since their first kiss, and in the weeks following she found 
herself sleeping in Jeanette's enormous canopy bed more often than she 
slept at home.  She stared up at the black silk bed hangings, and rolled 
over to curl around her lover, enjoying the feel of the black silk sheets 
rustling against her.  She grinned lewdly, trying to count exactly how 
many pairs of sheets they'd ruined between now and then.  Jeanette yawned 
delicately and stretched. 
        "Hi there."  Nat kissed Jeanette, nose, then her lips, and had to 
stop herself.  "I have to go to work soon." 
        "But cherie, I was having this wonderful dream of things to do to 
you.  Are you sure you can't stay and let me try them out on you?"  She 
pouted, looking at Natalie in the sexiest way she could. 
        Nat threw a pillow at her.  "You know I'd love to, but duty calls..." 
        The vampiress sniffed.  "And here I thought you cared..." 
  
        Half an hour and one tickle fight later, Natalie dashed into 
work, her thoughts on the autopsy she was about to perform.  "Hi Grace!" 
She grinned, rushing by her friend's desk." 
        "Um, Nat, I should warn you..." 
        Natalie opened her office door as Grace finished her statement at 
the same moment as Nat saw the blond man sitting on her lab table. 
        "..Nick's here," Grace finished lamely. 
        Natalie slammed the door and turned to Grace.  "Page me when he 
gets the hell out of my office.  I'll be back then."  She ignored Grace's 
protests and stormed out of the office, livid.  How dare he just show 
up?  She wasn't sure what to say to him, especially when she knew Grace 
would be listening outside the door.  She decided to get some breakfast 
at a cafe around the corner - preferably something with lots of garlic. 
  
        Nick wandered up to her table as she ate, and wrinkled his nose. 
She should have known he'd follow her. 
        "Smells good," he tried to joke.  She just glared at him.  "I'm 
sorry."  He looked at her pleadingly. 
        Natalie took a gulp of coffee and looked at him, silent. 
        "I'm sorry I didn't call.  I needed some time to think." 
        "Think about what?  The fact that you bit me without asking and 
then gave me the brush-off?" 
        "It..." He sighed.  "I wish I was mortal." 
        "Why?  Why does it matter?  If you'd drink blood like every other 
vampire I know, maybe we could have..continued..without you almost killing 
me.  Did you ever think of that?" 
        Nick looked taken aback.  This was not the Natalie he'd known 
five weeks ago, who'd wanted him to stop drinking blood, and to become 
mortal.  "No, I didn't.  I still want to come back across, Nat.  I want 
to be mortal so I can be with you." 
        Natalie sighed.  "Maybe I was wrong.  Maybe you should accept 
yourself for what you are.  Or at least we could find some way to bring 
you back across without you having to starve yourself to death." 
        The coroner's beeper went off.  "Excuse me, I have a job to do." 
Natalie stood and put some bills on the table and left. 
  
        Natalie stopped by her apartment after work to feed Sidney and 
check her answering machine.  There were several messages from Nick 
asking if they could get together after her shift.  She erased them, 
petted Sidney, and brushed her teeth to remove the garlic smell before 
leaving for the Raven. 
  
  
        "Jeanette, Nick's back." 
        "Oh?"  She had felt his presence today, but had no idea that he'd 
go to Natalie before seeing her for advice.  "What did he want?" 
        "He wanted to apologize."  She grinned.  "I told him to either 
accept what he is or ask me to find a way for him to come back across 
without starving himself to the point of biting his friends." 
        Jeanette smiled.  "And he said?" 
        "He didn't.  I walked out."  Nat hugged her lover tightly, 
knowing she couldn't hurt her, and kissed Jeanette passionately.  "After 
all, being a vampire doesn't seem *that* bad.  After all, you're one." 
Nat smiled mischieviously.  "Now, what were those things you wanted to 
try on me?" 
  
        Nick came into the Raven looking extremely pathetic, and asked 
the bartender where he could find Jeanette. 
        "She's not to be disturbed." 
        "I'm sure she'd disagree.  Where is she?" 
        The bartender went back to pouring drinks, ignoring the blond 
vampire.  Nick sighed and wandered towards the back rooms.  He heard 
feminine giggling coming from Jeanette's room, and knocked on the door. 
        "Go away, Nick!"  More giggling followed, and well as some shrieking. 
        "But Jeanette, I--" 
        "Go get a drink, Nick, I'll be out soon."  She sounded annoyed, 
so he went out and ordered wine.  The bartender gave him a glass of 
Jeanette's private stock, and he remembered Natalie's comment about 
starving himself.  He sighed and pushed away feelings of guilt as he 
drank the sanguine liquid.  His body sang at the taste of a drink he had 
not had in years, and he hoped like hell Nat could bring him back across soon. 
        Jeanette emerged from the back, looking distinctly rumpled, 
grinning.  She saw Nick and stopped smiling, smoothing her dress and 
walked over to him briskly.  "What do you want, Nicholas?" Her French 
accent conveyed her annoyance quite well.  "Do you enjoy leaving your 
friends to wonder whether you'd walked into the sunlight?" 
        "No, it's just that I--" 
        "You, Nicholas, were very foolish.  If you hadn't started starving 
yourself, your incident with the coroner would have never happened."  She 
sniffed haughtily.  "And I suppose you're here for forgiveness?  Or for 
comfort because she's upset with you?"  She lit a cigarette and waited 
for an answer. 
        "But, how did you know about--" 
        "Your Dr. Lambert came here looking for you.  She was worried 
about you instead of immersing herself in self-pity like you do." 
        "She was here?  What did you say to her?" 
        "I don't see how that's any of your business."  For the first 
time she noticed his glass and its contents.  "At least you seem to be 
taking her advice." 
        Nick was puzzled.  But he and Nat had only talked hours ago.  Unless... 
        Natalie walked out of the private area in the back towards the 
bar, purposefully ignoring Nick in favour of a glass of wine.  She drank 
the red fluid down, then lit a cigarette, having picked up Jeanette's 
habit on that drunken first evening at the club.  She watched her lover 
and Nick out of the corner of her eye, waiting. 
        Nick stared at Natalie's back, than at Jeanette.  "What is she 
doing here?  You haven't--"  He looked horrified. 
        "No, Nicholas, she's still quite mortal.  Unlike you, I have some 
self control." 
        He remembered the giggling coming from Jeanette's room, and it hit 
him who the other woman had been.  "You--and her--" 
        "Yes, Nicholas, me and her."  Jeanette took a drink of blood. 
        Natalie saw Nick's face and tried not to laugh.  She went to 
stand with Jeanette, and took a sip of her blood, just enough to have the 
taste in her mouth when she kissed Jeanette.  Their lips met and Jeanette 
grinned at Nick, who had been expecting the vampiress to go wild with 
bloodlust, sat stunned.  The two women shared a look, and grinned. 
        "See, Nicholas?  Self-control is possible - if you eat properly." 
        Natalie couldn't resist, and she murmured a few lewd comments about 
what *she'd* been eating lately to the vampiress.  Nick didn't seem to notice 
that he'd finished his glass and started on Jeanette's in his dismay, as the 
two of them sat down across from him to look at him seriously. 
        "Nick, I haven't forgiven you for what you did.  Hell, if I'd 
known you were that desperate, I probably would have changed your diet. 
And yes, I did want you then.  I even want you now.  But I can't trust 
you...you hurt me." 
        He winced.  "You know I love you, Nat, and I am sorry." 
        "If you loved me, we could have talked about this.  If you loved 
me, you wouldn't have mocked me afterwards."  Natalie looked disgusted 
with him, and Jeanette held her protectively. 
        "Nicholas, I can't just forgive you either.  You hurt the 
feelings of the woman I love."  The vampiress looked at Natalie intently, 
forgetting Nick's presence for a moment.  "The woman I'm going to spend the 
rest of my life with." 
        "Rest of your--" Nick suddenly realized what Jeanette was talking 
about.  "Natalie, you can't do this!  Tell me you're not going to let her 
bring you across!" 
        "Why not, Nick?  Even humans kill their food.  And if you still 
want to be mortal I'll still help you.  Who knows?  Maybe someday we'll 
make that decision too, and it would be nice to know how."  Natalie 
looked quite contented.  As did Jeanette. 
  
        It was almost dawn when the women prepared for sleep. 
        "Natalie?"  Jeanette held her mortal lover close. 
        "Yes, love?" 
        "Do you still want Nicholas?" 
        Natalie sighed.  "Yes, I'm still very attracted.  And yes, I'm 
still very upset with him." 
        "You know you could have him any way you wanted after I bring you 
across.  The three of us could be very happy." 
        Natalie sighed.  "I agree, but only when he figures things out." 
        "I miss the Nicholas I knew in the beginning, before his very 
existence made him feel guilty.  You would have liked him, cherie." 
        "Do you think he'll ever stop hating himself?" 
        "We can only hope." 
  
-- 
darkangel    steff@jbx.com    "dance the ghost with me..." --sisters of mercy