Subject: Five Years 1/1 Date: Sat, 18 Mar 2000 00:37:20 -0500 From: E & J Deal To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU This takes place five years (oddly enough) after LK. In this version, both Nick and Nat have survived. Fearing that Nat would hate him for almost killing her, Nick has run away. These are Nat's thoughts at their reunion five years later. It is angry and un-beta-read. Pemission to archive granted. All commentary welcomed at ejdeal@sga.quik.com. Five Years By Elise Five years. Five long, lonely years. Suddenly he wants back in my life. Says he made a mistake, should never have walked away, should never have hurt me like that. And I'm supposed to forgive and forget? Like those five years never existed? Take him back? Start over? How do you forgive abandonment? How do you forget soul-piercing pain? Five years. Five years later. He wants me. Now. Wants me to join him. Today. Says we can build a life together. Forever. I'm supposed to smile and run to him with open arms? I'm supposed to forget those long, aching nights and endless, bitter days? Simply accept his blithe apology and open my heart, my soul, my veins to him again? Let him bleed my heart dry again? Five years. Five years of tears. He wants an answer. This day. He needs my love. This lifetime. He wants me. His way. I've finally moved on with my miserable little life. Finally accepted the fact that he never cared for me at all. Finally floundered through one day without thoughts of suicide. I've just begun to make a life for myself. And now? What? Five years. Five long thoughtful years. Tell him: Drop dead. Say it with a laugh. Tell him: Once bitten, twice shy. Say it with a laugh. Tell him: Go die. Say it with a laugh. Say bitter, angry, vengeful things. Hurt him, dig deeply, cut to the core. Gouge! Make him feel the merest hint of the pain I've harbored these Five years. Five long hateful years. Just open my mouth and blast him with my venom. "Yes, Nick, I still love you!" Damn us both to Hell.