SURPRISE! 
Ruth Dempsey"Anglofans"@aol.com 
  
Intent on the corpse's liver, Natalie Lambert, 
Crown Coroner for the city of Toronto, didn't see 
or hear the figure approach her table until a shadow 
fell across the incision. 
  
"Nick," she began irritably, but stopped dead and 
blinked.  It _wasn't_ Det. Nicholas Knight (homicide) 
that was looking at the open corpse distastefully. 
  
"Jeannette," she managed to keep her voice calm. 
"What are you doing here?" 
  
The dark woman looked at Natalie with even 
more distaste than she had looked at the corpse. 
"Doctor, I'm afraid I need your help," she 
said crossly. 
  
"Is it Nick?  Is he in trouble?" 
  
"When is he not?" She made a depreciating gesture. 
"No, no, it is another matter."  She glanced down 
at the body. "Although I do not think it might be 
appropriate to discuss it _here_." 
  
"I agree," Natalie calmly excised the liver and 
placed it in a specimen basin.  It squelched as 
it struck and Jeannette shuddered.  "I'll need about 
twenty minutes." 
  
"A bientot, then," Jeannette slid shadow-silent 
back through the doors. 
  
Twenty minutes later, Natalie walked into her 
office to find the vampire waiting for her. 
"You are prompt," Jeannette remarked. 
  
"You said you needed my help?"  Natalie's 
voice was cool. 
  
After a moment, Jeannette fumbled a 
glossy catalog out of her purse.  It was 
folded as to be open to a certain page.  Natalie 
accepted the document, studied it -- and giggled. 
  
Jeannette giggled herself.  "Precious, no?" 
  
"They're wonderful! My help--?" 
  
"Bah, the UPS cannot guarantee that it can 
deliver them at a convenient time," Jeannette 
shrugged.  Natalie nodded.  'Convenient' for 
a vampire being after sunset, or at least 5 pm, 
and UPS was notorious for such guarantees. 
  
"I'll be glad to order them," she said.  "Two 
things, though..." 
  
"Two?" Jeannette frowned. 
  
"One: I pay for half." 
  
The vampire shrugged. 
  
"Two: I'm there when he gets these." 
  
"Agreed, Doctor." 
***** 
Five weeks later, Detective Knight came back to 
his loft to find both women and a large box waiting 
for him. 
  
"What is this?"  He asked suspiciously. 
  
"I saw it," Jeannette purred, "and thought of you." 
  
"And I agreed with her."  Natalie folded her arms. 
  
Nicholas was by now -very- suspicious, but he opened 
the box anyway. 
  
"What the --?" 
  
Jeannette and Natalie burst into giggles.  "Count 
Bearcula and Vampbeara!" Natalie pointed to 
first the black plush teddy in the tuxedo with 
opera cape and medallion and then to the 
second, dark brown teddy in the black satin 
dress with a bat-shaped sequin bodice. 
  
"They're cute, I admit --" 
  
"Just the thing to take to bed with you, hmm?" 
  
"Natalie!" 
***** 
Far above the laughter and the teasing, a 
dark figure scowled as he watched the 
scene below. 
  
"Ridiculous!" snarled LeCroix.  "Nicholas, 
you let those women make a fool of you. 
Teddy Bears!  You don't need a teddy bear!" 
He reached inside his cape and pulled out 
a worn, black velvet stuffed cat. 
"Ne c'est pas, Chou-chou?" he crooned.