Subject: Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (01/07) Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2000 21:31:41 -0400 From: Marti Ehlert To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (01/07) By Marti Ehlert ----------------------------------------- This little ditty was started nearly two years ago. I've finally gotten around to finishing it and re-post it with permission for your enjoyment. Please forgive any silly errors, this has not been beta-ed. I must give huge thanks to Emily for finding this for I thought it was lost forever. May she get all the virtual souvlaki her heart desires! Disclaimer: Rated PG-13. I do not own Schanke or the characters in I Dream of Jeanie, or Mork and Mindy, or the Teletubbies. They belong to their respective PTB on their respective programs. I'm merely playing with them for a bit. I promise I'll return them and the harem pants when I'm done. Permission to archive on the FK fanfic site and the ftp site, all others please ask. --------------------------------------- "Aw, Myra! Jeanie's on. Just a few minute, pleeease." Schanke sulked to his favorite chair. Myra continued to yell from the kitchen. He mimicked silently to her voice. Settling into the chair, comfort was abruptly ended, "Yeow!" Jumping from the chair, Schanke pulled the remote from its cushioned hiding place. "They should put warning labels on these things!" Resettling into his old pal he began to flip through the channels, searching for that early morning or late night jewel--'I Dream of Jeanie!' "There! Now is there any sweeter sight than Jeanie before goin' to bed? Except..." Schanke glanced toward the kitchen. It was dark and quiet. "Nah, not tonight. It gives me nightmares." It was like the Sirens calling his name. He had to have it! "Resistance is futile, Donny-boy. Feed your hunger!" He jumped from his chair, rushing to the kitchen, past the breakfast table, and straight for...the fridge. "Come to Papa!" Reaching through the forest of colorful Tupperware and brand name cartons, he pulled out the second sweetest sight before going to bed ...souvlaki! His euphoria was broken by a shout from upstairs. "Ah, no hon. I'm just straightening up the refrigerator. You know with your mother coming next week and all. I'll be up in a few minutes." Schanke glanced briefly at the microwave, "Nah." Foregoing the nuclear treatment of such sweet ambrosia, Schanke headed for the comfort of his chair and the company of his favorite blond. "Ahhh," he sighed with satisfaction as he sank into the chair. "Finally a little peace. No Nick, no Cohen, no paperwork! Just me, Jeanie, and," taking a large bite of his souvlaki. "Mmmmmm." Turning the volume up a bit, but not too much , Schanke munched happily away. The familiar sound of Jeanie's theme tickling his ears. It wasn't long before the souvlaki disappeared and Schanke became completely engrossed in the episode. "Oh, Master. I cannot imagine the boredom I would feel if I had to be tied to a desk all day long." Schanke snorted, "You said it, Jeanie. What I would give to simply bob my head and presto-changeo...work is done. I'd bob Nick's head out of the clouds every once in a while and plunk him behind the desk. That guy needs to dive into a couple of those stacks piling up, Cohen's been at me for weeks now!" He stopped himself. His thought was echoed by an angry call from above. "Uh, it's nothing, sweetheart. I'll be up in a few." He shook his head. "Sleep. I'm heading in that direction, amigo," he whispered to the screen. Major Nelson stormed from his living room where Jeanie sat tied to a desk. Schanke continued to mumble, "Sleep..sounds..really..good." He began to doze, head lolling against the back of his chair. "But!" he popped out of his doze. "I'm not going to miss Jeanie." It was no use, sleep was inevitable. He succumbed as the station went to break. [Will Don finish this episode of Jeanie? Will Jeanie be tied to that desk forever? Will Myra ever understand what hip waders do to her husband? Stay tuned and find out when I Dream of...] Schanke snorted in his sleep, not completely awakening "Mmma...Myra? Did you say something?" He smiled and shifted in the chair, "Why don't you put on that nice pair of green hip waders for me." ---------------------------------------------------- End of part 1 Comments and virtual souvlaki may be sent to Marti at Molly3Jane@juno.com ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Subject: Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (02/07) Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2000 21:20:57 -0400 From: Marti Ehlert To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Xover: I Dream of Schanke (02/07) Reposted with permission See part 1 for disclaimer -------------------------------- Schanke snorted, shifting in the chair. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be up in a few minutes. Rubbing his eyes, Schanke looked at his watch. "Hmmmm, Jeanie's still on." Turning the volume up a bit more, he tried to focus on the television. The twenty-seven inch picture was fuzzy from dozing and an overactive dose of souvlaki in the tummy. The reception began to blink, fuzzing in and out. "Oh, Master....what's wrong....You look so..." The reception blinked out completely leaving snow and white noise in its place. "Damn reception!" Schanke grumbled, too tired to get up and bang the TV He tried flipping channels to no avail. "Damn cable!" No sooner had the words fallen from his mouth...the cable came back. The oddly soothing image of a man with what looked like ramen noodles fashioned into a wig on his head appeared on the screen. [Are you tired of poor reception, but are too tired to get up and bang on the set? Does a long day and three day old souvlaki hold you in your seat?] Schanke couldn't believe his ears. [Don't just sit there and grumble. Close your eyes and enjoy the soothing effect of white noise after a long hard day.] Schanke stared at the set for a moment in disbelief. [That's right, Don.] [Just close those eyes. You're becoming very relaxed. Listen, relax...] Schanke did as he was told, allowing himself to melt into the sound. He had the odd, yet comforting feeling of floating. He opened his eyes to see if Jeanie had come back on when... "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh man, oh man, oh man!" Schanke looked around himself nervously. The room began to spin, swirling colors surrounded him...and he was still falling. "That's it no more souvlaki for a while. Eat me Donny. Feed your hunger.' Never trust a rumbling stomach!" He continued to tumble in what seemed like infinite, yet psychedelic space. "Now I know how Alice felt!" The fall seemed never ending, "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Just when he thought the old ticker could take no more...*THUD* He landed. Blowing out a sigh of relief, he lay there catching his breath. He fanned his arms out, eyes closed, feeling his surroundings. Every nerve in his body was acutely sensitive to possible danger. The ground was soft, warm...velvety. Opening his eyes to see where he's landed, he was assaulted by terribly bright light . Instead of continuing the previous downward movement he rubbed his eyes. Looking around he noted the decor of what seemed to be a harem. The walls were draped with tapestry and tassel, the floor covered with a multitude of multicolored pillows. There were no windows, except for...Schanke looked up in recognition and sudden, terrifying disbelief. "NO. Oh, no no no no no. This can't be real!" All he could see through the opening of the bottle was what he guessed to be ceiling. "Myra's going to kill me if I don't get to bed soon," he mumbled to himself. Seeing no way out for the moment, he settled himself into the pillows. After what couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes, a faint rumbling came from outside of the bottle. It came closer, the bottle began to shake. "Geez, I've been transported to California too." He braced himself the best he could against the pillows as the bottle began to shake violently. "Jeanie!" The voice was loud , yet familiar. It boomed from above the bottle. Schanke couldn't quite place it. "I know that voice, but from where?" It didn't take much contemplation until stark recognition washed over him... "Master! Oh, Master is that you?" Schanke couldn't stop himself. "Of Course it's me, Jeanie. Who else would it be.?" Nick's face appeared above the bottle. "I'm off to work, the captain will have my head if I'm late again." Nick gave Jeanie a knowing wink. "Oh, Master can't I come out of my bottle for a little while, it is so very hot in here." Schanke stood up, wiping sweat from his brow. He wiped his hand down the front of his shirt and froze. He rubbed his hand up and down his torso, feeling the soft, fuzzy nakedness of his belly. He looked down at himself to see the all too familiar pink velvet and mesh harem pants. "I hope this is like Quantum Leap." Nick looked down into the bottle. "What was that, Jeanie?" Schanke looked up and gave his most coquettish smile, "Oh nothing, Master. I was just saying what a nice evening we had last night." Nick shrugged, "If you say so." "Master, about coming out of the bottle..." Schanke trailed off as Nick shook his head. "No way! Not after last night's little fiasco. You had half the precinct ready to blow the apartment up after that little distress call you made." Schanke had no idea what he was talking about but his mouth certainly did. "But, Master. I only wanted to you to come home so that I could give you your birthday surprise." Nick continued to shake his head, "No." He headed for the door, taking his keys and watch from the box on the table behind the sofa. "I'll be home before dawn." He stepped onto the elevator, shouting as the door began to close, "and don't call me!" Schanke called fruitlessly after Nick, "Master! Oh, Master let me out!" His cries fell on a closed and descended elevator. "Damn!" he shouted in frustration. I have to get out of this bottle." He plopped onto the pillows with an exasperated sigh. "How...will...I...get...out?" He sat cross-legged, thrumming his fingers on his knees. The room and bottle became devoid of all noise. Suddenly... [Will Jeanie..er..Schanke be released from the prison of his bottle?] Schanke looked around. "Where...who are you? Let me out of this bottle!" Schanke jumped to his feet and began to pound the side of the bottle. "LET ME OUT!" [Don.] "Yes?" [Calm down.] Schanke sat back down and crossed his legs, waiting. "Who are you?" [The Announcer.] "The Announcer?! Let me out of this bottle!" [Don, shhhh! This is my segway. I need silence to work.] Schanke became infuriated. "I WANT OU..." He was suddenly cut off. His voice was gone. His mouth continued to work in a futile attempt to get his distress message out. [Don, you're becoming very red. Sit down and calm yourself.] Schanke finally gave up and did as he was told. [*clears throat* Will Schanke be released from the prison of his bottle? Will Detective Knight decant his every wish? Will Myra put those green hip Waders on in an attempt to get her husband back upstairs? Stay tuned.] The announcer stopped momentarily. [Don, we're going to commercial break.] Schanke sat in the middle of the bottle, chin in hand, and elbow on knee. He gave a silent woop-dee-doo' with his other hand. ZAP!! -------------------------------------- end of part 2 --Comments and virtual harem pants may be sent to Marti at Molly3jane@juno.com ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Subject: Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (03/07) Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2000 21:23:33 -0400 From: Marti Ehlert To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (03/07) Reposted With Permission Disclaimer: see part 1 ------------------------------ Schanke's voice returned. "Geez, take a man's voice and you take his dignity." [Sorry, Don.] The Announcer's voice boomed through the bottle's walls. Schanke gave a flustered look in the direction he thought the voice was coming from. "I have to get out of here, voice or no voice." He walked to the opposite side of the bottle. "I'm breaking out of this joint..." he ran through the pillows with all the speed he could muster in the confined space. Performing what could only be described as a vertical belly flop, he smacked into the slightly rounded wall of the bottle. *THUD* With a groan he landed flat on his back. The bottle vibrating from the sudden impact, but moving not an inch. [Don.] Schanke groaned and sat up, "Yeah, what?" [We're back in thirty seconds.] "So! Didn't you *segway* to my dilema? Let them watch! A man is born free!" With that Schanke got to his feet and went to the other side of the bottle. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and ran. This time getting his shoulders into the act. The bottle rocked. Schanke shook off the force of the last blow, preparing for another. Repeating the act , the bottle tilted. Balanced on its edge, it began to sway. "Whoa! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea!" Schanke began to teeter with the swaying of the bottle. Losing his footing he fell in the direction the bottle was heading. It fell. Pillows, tassels, and mesh clad occupant began to tumble through the neck of the bottle. He rolled...and rolled...and rolled. As his final roll approached, Schanke positioned himself to look at the opening of the bottle. The edge was rapidly coming closer. He repositioned himself to come out in breach position. Before long his feet were kicking air, then his knees, bare torso ...grabbing onto the edge, he tried desperately to claw his way back in. "Just don't look down, Donny. Don't look down." He looked down. "Mommy!" he screached. The bottle's mouth was positioned past the edge of its perch...on top of the refrigerator. "Okay, breathe. You're going to get back up into that bottle and stay there until Master comes back. He was losing his grip as his fingers began to slide from the slick surface of the bottle. "This is it, I'm a goner." He began to say his own last rites when a small voice in the back of his mind whispered, "Use the force, Don! Use the force!" "Yeah, I'll use the force." Just as his fingers began their final slide from the edge of the bottle, Schanke bobbed his head. *pee-doyng* He popped into the middle of Nick's sitting area. "Man, was that close. It was almost curtains in the kitchen for this little genie." Schanke wiped the drying sweat from his brow with a little shiver. "Doesn't this guy believe in turning on the heat?" He looked around for something to cover himself with. Finding nothing so convenient, he decided to light a fire. With another small bob of the head the hearth roared to life. Schanke suddenly felt the recent exertion's toll on his body. Yawning, he lazily bobbed his head once more. The pillows from the bottle were suddenly transported to in front of the blazing fire place. "I'll just take a little nap before Master gets home." He knew sleep was inevitable, why not just let it take him? He walked over to the pillows, lowering himself to them. "Man, it has been a long day." His rest would not last long. Before he could even get to the twelfth sheep, the door to the loft began to slide open. Another familiar, yet unplacable voice flowed into the room. "Oh, Jeanie..." Schanke didn't open his eyes. He just lay there hoping the intruder would leave him in peace. "Oh, Jeanie...I know you're home, and I know the detective is out." The voice was unsettlingly soothing, almost like silk. The sound of footsteps finally drew Schanke from his half-hearted doze. Standing up to see whom this rude person could possibly be...his mouth fell agape. The figure in the doorway was clad only in a long black trench coat and black leather boots. The figure moved to where Schanke stood gaping. Looking down at the pillows and fire, "I see you've been waiting for me. Are you ready, Jeanie, for some fun with The Night Crawler?" Schanke was still completely dumbfounded, "Oooooh, man." At that very moment the room decided to take on the extreme silence that proceeded The Announcer. [Will Jeanie fall prey to the charms of Major Healy ...] "Oh no you don't!" Schanke shouted toward the ceiling. Backing away from the Major he decided to try one more head bob. *BOING* Nothing happened. [It's too late, Don. We've been cut off. The Prime Minister has to make some important announcement. You know how that is. We'll return after.] Schanke felt trapped, "Uh, Major? You look like the sort of who guy could use a drink." Schanke glanced nervously at the ceiling "Do something you over grown falsetto!" he grumbled toward the ceiling. [Sorry, Don. No can do little buddy. You're on your own.] Schanke could have sworn he heard a snicker just then. The Major began to advance toward him again and...he was unbuttoning the coat! He was almost down the last button. Schanke turned away, not wanting to see what was underneath. LaCroix reached the last button, about to swing the coat open.... ZAP!! -------------------------------- End of part 3 --Please send comments to Marti at molly3jane@juno.com.com ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Subject: Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (04/07) Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2000 23:57:37 -0400 From: Marti Ehlert To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Xover: I Dream of Schanke 04/07 Reposted With Permission Disclaimer: See part one -------------------------------- "Listen, Major, there's no need to...oh, geez...please don't, I mean, you really don't have..." Schanke trailed off to stunned silence as the major whipped open his trench coat. Don tried frantically to bob the stark white sight before him to some sort of clothed state. No luck. "Damn Prime minister!" Schanke muttered under his breath. "Doesn't he know politics and primetime just don't mix! I'm losing my viewership." Schanke's last thought came out louder than he intended. "I see you just fine my precious little plaything," LaCroix quipped with a wicked grin. Schanke backed away from the leering, very naked LaCroix. LaCroix only took this as a sign of playfulness from Schanke and began to advance quicker. Without missing a beat Schanke broke into a full run, trailing a giggling LaCroix behind him. "Oh, you don't have to be shy, Jeanie. I won't bite...too hard." LaCroix laughed at his own joke. "Just stand still for a moment and let me show you the rest of your present." "No way, Jose!" Schanke yelped. They'd reached the stairs leading to Nick's bedroom. Just as LaCroix's arms were about to close around him, he ducked and tucked tail the other way. "You are a fiesty little thing tonight!" Schanke was losing steam . He decided the little run around was going to stop, but not without one last effort to get away. Running through the kitchen area, he tucked his head down and headed strait for the sofa . Building up enough speed, he vaulted the couch. Landing with a slap of skin against leather, Schanke landed on his stomach. This being all to quick for the streaking LaCroix. Before he realized it his naked torso and legs too made a horrible slapping sound as they struck the leather backed couch. More than just LaCroix's pride was bruised as he slumped to the floor groaning. Schanke got to his knees and peered over the edge. LaCroix lay on the floor, knees tucked under, giving the most pitiful moans. LaCroix began to regain some of his composure. Standing up, he covered himself with his hands and walked over to the fireplace to retrieve his trench coat. In a strangled voice, "don't let Detective Knight know about this. He would, let's just say...stake me to the wall." With that he put his coat on and headed for the door. As he slid the door back he called to Jeanie-Schanke, "You are a cheeky little minx, you." He winked at Schanke and turned, letting the door slide back behind him. Schanke slid, relieved, back down onto the couch. "That was close. And to think that guy had such a streak in him." He giggled at the little funny he'd made, but soon caught sight of the pillows that were still waiting for him by the still burning fire. The fire had died down considerably and Nick didn't appear to have any wood handy. He hauled himself off the sofa and headed for the stairs to the bedroom in search of a blanket. He pulled the comforter off of Nick's bed, revealing red satin. "Sheesh, does this guy live in style or what?" He bundled the comforter in his arm and headed out of the room. He passed a full-lenth mirror by the door and gasped at the sight. "I look like Jeanie!" he exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and relief. "Sam Becket, eat your heart out!" He dropped the comforter to the floor, placing his hands on his hips and shaking them a bit. He gave the mirror a sideways glance, looking down his nose, "I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille." He giggled, "would Myra flip or what?" He finally headed down stairs for his much deserved rest. At that moment, the door to the loft swung open. Nick rushed in flushed and bothered. "Oh, Jeanie! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have left you like that. Thank God you're alright." Nick took Schanke into his arms, pressing his cheek against his genie's forehead, eyes closed, hands patting. "Oh, Master! I must tell you something before you go on." Schanke's words fell on deaf ears. Nick began to sway, holding Schanke closer and patting more intently. "Shhh, not another word, my sweet." Schanke didn't say another word. The swaying had put him into a light doze. Nick continued to rock his dozing dear, but his pace began to faulter. "Jeanie?" Nick prodded softly. Schanke lifted his head a bit and gave a weary smile, "yes, Master?" "I'm getting tired." Nick replied. Taking his cue Schanke tried to dislodge himself from the detective's deceptively strong hold. "Oh, no you don't. I may be tired, but there's no way I'm letting you go! Come with me, you devilish little minx, you!" Still in Nick's iron grip, Schanke was led to the other side of the couch, pillows quickly approaching. Before Nick could go for the final dip to the floor, the door slid forcefully back. Walking in with an air of power that would turn Sylvester Stallone pale, Natalie entered the whole screwed up scene. All three stood agape. Nat began to sputter. Gaining control she let out, "Jeanie!" Schanke could only reply, "Dr. Nat!" "Jeanie?!" "Master!" [Rocky!] All three looked toward the sudden boom that emanated from the ceiling. Schanke was the first to drop his gaze, slapping himself against the forehead. Before he could think of something condescending...*BOING* The dark figure of LaCroix was transported, completing the circle of babbling players. He was dressed in a very small, very dusty tuxedo-with no shirt beneath his vest! [We now return to our regularly scheduled program already in progress...] "SHUT UP!" All four chorused at once. Schanke shook his head, "Sheesh!" ZAP! End of part 4 --Please send comments and squirt guns to Marti at Molly3jane@juno.com.com ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Subject: Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (05/07) Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2000 23:59:04 -0400 From: Marti Ehlert To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (05/07) Reposted With Permission Disclaimers: See Part 1 -------------------------------------- "Well if it isn't LaCroix," Dr. Nat seethed through clenched teeth. The two adversaries locked gazes, nearly setting the loft ablaze with the heat of their anger. Dr. Nat walked over to LaCroix, walking around him and eyeing him up and down. "A little early for Halloween isn't it, LaCroix?" LaCroix simply kept his gaze trained on the middle of her forehead. They stood in the middle of the loft, perfectly still and unblinking. Nick and Schanke glanced at each other. The tension between LaCroix and Dr. Nat was a nearly tangible element in the room. LaCroix was the first to break their gaze. Nat couldn't help herself. With a wild and joyous *WOOP!*, she cried triumphantly, "I win! You blinked first. That's two and O for me," and dancing around him on her tippy toes while jabbing at his sides with pointed index fingers, "and OOOOOOOOO and TWO FOR YOU!" She did a small victory dance, twisting on her toes and swaying her hips. The dance was ended with a throaty, "Two for me, none for you!" Nick took Schanke's gesture and slapped his forehead. Shaking his head from both pain and disbelief, "I thought you two were past this little competitive phase. Let's talk about why you're really here, Nat. I know you didn't just come to see Jeanie." Nat sighed, shaking her head. "You're right, Nick. I..." She couldn't get the words past her lips. "I...lllo..." They just wouldn't come. Nick found this very frustrating, his patience already worn thin from Jeanie's little antics of the previous night. "Just spit it out! Why are you here?!" Nat drew a deep breath, backing away from Nick. Schanke and LaCroix threw curious and slightly alarmed glances to each other and began backing away themselves. Now safely across the loft, Schanke and LaCroix stood in front of the refrigerator. Nick began to tap his foot in frustration. Letting out the pent up air in her lungs Natalie blurted out, "I LOVE YOU!" Time stopped. At that very moment a strange sensation swept over Schanke's body . He felt as if he were floating in mud, yet not so gooey. He watched as LaCroix moved in slow motion next to him. His mouth drawing into an excruciatingly slow grimace of anguish. In a deep, and considerably slowed voice he cried, "Nooooooooooo!" With that Schanke let his gaze fall to the newly outed lovers. He watched in fascination as they ran toward each other, arms out stretched and faces enrapt. From out of no where a faint sound filtered into the room. It sounded like.... All of a sudden Schanke felt the urge to laugh. It started as just a small little giggle but soon escalated into a belly-shaking guffaw. When he thought his ribs would surely break, he felt a small tap on his shoulder and a small voice whispered in his ear, "Hey you!" Startled, Schanke turned to see who was behind him only to be greeted with a poof of pepper in his face. It tickled his nose and made him sneeze with an incredible head jerk. *DOY-ING!* Schanke was plunged into darkness. Yet...it was somehow lit. It was like he was standing in a room with black walls and lots of front light. He looked around himself. Somehow this place was familiar. He turned around in place, looking for some detail that would clue him into his whereabouts. Before getting too dizzy a voice boomed from above. [Shozbot, Don.] Schanke shook his head . ZAP!! ------------------------------------- end of part 5 --Comments and Orkins may be sent to Marti at molly3jane@juno.com. ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Subject: Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (06/07) Date: Sat, 8 Apr 2000 00:47:39 -0400 From: Marti Ehlert To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (06/07) Reposted With Permission Disclaimers: See part one ---------------------------------------- [Shozbot, Don!] Schanke looked forward into the blackness, straining to see something. Anything. But alas, there was naught but darkness. He stepped forward, hoping to catch a glimpse of the source of light that seemed to emanate from ahead. His foot struck and made a sharp, echoing *CLAP*. "There has to be walls somewhere in this place if it echoes like that." Schanke muttered to himself. He continued forward, not really focusing on anything but getting there . He walked slowly, feeling the past events' toll on his weary, velvet clad frame. He began to whistle...then hum...he eventually made it to an out and out, shameless rendition of ...the theme to...the Teletubbies. "Hmmm, hmmm, hmmmmmmm...Teletub-ees, teletub-ees...Twinky-Winky..." he repeated the same line over and over, trying various pitches and meters. "Yo! Tel-eh-tub-ees!" He giggled to himself . He was too absorbed in the creation of a new and improved version of the theme to notice the light getting more intense. He was also too busy to notice that something was ahead and steadily getting closer. And he was way too..."Wait! There's something up ahead there!" And so there was and our brave hero dashed gallantly forth. Flying like the wind. Knowing in his soldier's hea... He ran toward the light , emerging out into what appeared to be a green and hilly field. A light breeze caressed his face and seemed to whisper something into his ear as the sun kissed his nose. [Scu..ba...] He turned around to see where the whisper had come from, but found only more green grass and sunlight. "Too weird." Oddly, he really wasn't alarmed by the sourceless noise. It just peaked his interest enough to keep moving in a direction he thought would lead him somewhere. It wasn't long before another faint noise tickled his acutely tuned ears. It came from far off and grew quickly nearer. "La, la, la, la, la...." Schanke stopped for a moment and cocked his head to one side, trying to get a better listen. When the sound seemed to stop he simply shrugged his shoulders and kept moving. He hadn't gotten much farther when the whisper tickled his ears again...[Scu..ba]...it was quite nice, the sensation that the utterance of that word brought. It seemed to guide him. "I...must...find...wetsuit." He was like a donkey being steered with a carrot. The Word was repeated over and over, each time growing louder until... "Eh-OH, Don!" And Don stopped. On a grassy knoll ahead of him stood a squat, yellow, neoprene clad figure. Once again his mouth seemed to know more than he did, "Eh-Oh, LaLa!" He waved to the...the...the thing on the knoll. It seemed to beckon to him, motioning and calling him to follow. "Don! Don scuba! Boat!" The whimsical little figure began to hop up and down and pointed behind Schanke. Schanke turned, expecting to see only the darkness he'd just come from. He was delighted to find that there actually *was* a boat behind him. He turned to run, but blinked instead. He was instantly transported to the head of the ship where he stood, arms out stretched with feet gripping tightly to all too small bars. Someone was holding him around the waist. The view was breath taking. He just couldn't help himself, "I'm flying, Jack!" He giggled, "I've always wanted to do that!" The arms tightened around him and he felt a warm face pressed into his back. "I'm glad your enjoying yourself, Don." Schanke knew there was someone behind him, but to hear a voice was enough to startle him into nearly losing his balance. Strong arms clung to him. Holding him inches away from a salty bath. "Whoa there, little buddy. You almost made it into the Big Dipper, the twenty thousand league lagoon, the..." Before Schanke could react the person before him planted a great big belly razz on him. It tickled him and annoyed him all in one single instant. He tried to free himself when someone interjected. "Mork, leave that poor man alone. He's had a rough time, I mean with the bottle, and..." The someone was cut off by the belly razz's perpetrator. "Aw, Mind. I was just tryin' to have some fun. That's an Orkin greeting...it means my what a nice belly you have'. Argh, Argh!" Schanke was too weary for all this. He tried to push himself away from Mork, forgetting that nothing stood between him and the open sea. Before he could check his balance he was on his way to a cold swim. He let out a cry of fear, but soon squelched it when he realized he wasn't really falling that fast. More like floating toward the ocean. Mork called out from above as Schanke drifted downward. "Don't forget to breathe!!" Schanke was shocked by this. "Breathe! Are you crazy?! I'll drown!" Before he could get another word out he was surrounded by cool water... ZAP!! ------------------------------------------ End of part 6 --Comments may be sent to Marti at Molly3jane@juno.com ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Subject: Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (07/07) Date: Sat, 8 Apr 2000 00:49:28 -0400 From: Marti Ehlert To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Xover: I Dream Of Schanke (07/07) Reposted With Permission Disclaimers: see part 1 The cool rush of water hit his body. It enveloped him like a soft blanket. Letting it enfold him, Don sank to the bottom, floor, whatever it was that he had landed on. His lungs began to burn just as he remembered Mork's words. "Don't forget to breathe." Drawing in a deep breath, Schanke expected to feel the harsh burn of liquid filling his lungs. Instead he was greeted by a sweetness that was quite familiar. It reminded him of… "Myra!" Schanke sputtered as a rush of water flooded from his mouth and nose. "Man, oh man! Am I glad to see you!" He exclaimed when he finally regained his composure. "Don!" Myra exclaimed when her husband finally regained consciousness. "I thought I'd lost you! You were under the water for so long." "Under…what'd you mean under the water? I've been everywhere but under the water. I'm telling YOU…" Schanke started to get excited over the thought of telling the tale of everything he'd just been through. As he was about to go into detail about the inconvenience of mesh and velvet, a soft hand reached over and placed a silencing finger against his lips. "Jenny's in bed, Don…" Schanke looked around, noticing the darkness surrounding him and the free floating swim dock beneath him. He couldn't help but crack a huge grin. "Yeah? And I bet there's not another soul around for miles." His grin got even wider. "Don!" Myra giggled. She hadn't heard her husband talk like this in ages. Schanke got to his feet and began to walk closer to his wife, careful not to tip the dock. She giggled and dove off the side. He followed her, grabbing her and pulling her close. "Oh, Don!" Myra exclaimed. They both giggled like teenagers. Schanke let his hand drift under the water only to be stopped by slightly ribbed rubber. Surprised he exclaimed, "Myra! You didn't!" A sly and knowing grin spread across Myra's face. "That's right, Don…hipwaders!" They both let out another giggled. Schanke pulled Myra even closer whispering into her ear, "Oh, Myra!" Fin --Please send comments to Marti at Molly3jane@juno.com ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.