Subject: Snowed In (1/1) Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 07:27:37 -0800 From: "Tiffiney A. Petherbridge" Organization: ChickMail (http://www.chickmail.com:80) To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU It's snowing! Bwahahahahahaha! Many many thanks to Cousin Mary. She and the snow storm were definitely my muses when it came to this fic. Disclaimer: Tiff owns nothing. Poor Tiff. Other people own the stuff Tiff writes about. Lucky people. Tiff is just borrowing stuff since the lucky people aren't looking. Bad Tiff. Permissions: Mel Moser, FTP Site, DPs and DNPs can archive this! ========================= "Snowed In" (1/1) by Evil Cousin Tiff (January 2000) ========================= "Our top story this Thursday is the Blizzard of 2000. The storm of the century. Okay, so it's been the only storm of the century, but it has managed to drop six feet of snow on the Metro Area in eight hours time," The news anchor said. "Let's take it over to Dawn Merriweather, our meteorologist, for more details on Winter Storm Aleria." Suddenly the camera cut to Dawn how was standing out next to a window. The window itself was submerged in snow, and made it impossible to see anything out of it. "As you can see, Bob," Dawn started, "the snow isn't letting up and it doesn't look like it will be for at least another ten hours. From our computer calculations, we expect to get at least another four feet of snow. This storm may be the first of the 21st century, Bob, but it's also probably the worst we'll see this century." Nick clicked off the tv. He was sick of hearing about this storm. He knew it was snowing. He knew it was a bad blizzard. If it weren't, Natalie and Tracy wouldn't be stuck in his loft like they had been the past 6 hours. Couldn't the people of the midday news find something else to cover? Surely there was a hostage crisis or terrorist bombing somewhere in America or Europe. Anything but the blasted blizzard. "I am the egg-man. Coo coo cachu!" Tracy bellowed from the top of the stairs, just before sliding down the railing to the lower level of the loft. Making a four-point landing, she walked into the kitchen, where a just as bouncy Natalie stood making coffee. "Hey hey, Tracy," Natalie said pouring her new bestest friend a cup of joe. "Yeah?" Tracy replied, gladly accepting the warm caffinated beverage. "I know lawyers who know lawyers!" "Ack, NO!" Nick wasn't quite sure what to make of Natalie's and Tracy's behavior. With anyone else, he would've blamed it on the amount of coffee the two had had in the time since they had arrived. But this was Natalie and Tracy, the caffeine queens. No, Nick knew what had caused this behavior. It was the snow. The amount of snow on the ground and the fact that the two mortal woman couldn't leave had caused them to snap. So deep in thought was Nick that he hadn't even noticed that Tracy was lying on the floor in front of him until he nearly tripped on her, on his way up to his room. "So, then, you expect me to talk?" Tracy said, looking at Nat standing over her ominously. Nat began to rub her hands together in a very villainous way. "No, Detective Vetter, I expect you... to die." Nick didn't even want to know what the deal with that was. He was tired and wanted to sleep. And despite the fact that he really didn't want to leave the two woman alone, he knew that they couldn't do much more than what they were doing now. --- "They must have secret hyperjets on that thing!" Tracy stated nervously from the passengers seat of the Caddy. "And what have we got on this thing, a quesanart?!" Natalie yelled angrily from the driver's seat with Nick's black motorcycle helmet on. "No, ma'am!" "Well find them. Catch them!" "Yes, ma'am!" Tracy picked up the mike on Nick's police radio (which was turned off). "Prepare Caddy for light speed." "No no no. Light speed is too slow." "Light speed too slow?" "Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed." Tracy gasped. "Ludicrous speed? Ma'am we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if the Caddy can take it." "What's the matter Colonel Sanderz?" Nat leaned towards Tracy, pushing up the visor of the motorcycle helmet, and arched her eyebrow at the young detective. "Chicken?" Tracy put the mike back up and started to talk into it again. "Prepare car..." Her voice was unsteady and nervous. She took two deep breaths before starting again, this time more confident. "Prepare car for ludicrous speed. Fasten all seat belts. Secure all the animals. Close all store in the mall." Natalie snatched the radio mike from Tracy. "Give me that you petty excuse for an officer." She turned to the mike and said, "Now hear this, ludicrous speed--" "Ma'am, shouldn't you buckle up first?" Tracy asked, fastening her seat belt. "Ah, buckle this. Ludicrous speed--GO!!!" Suddenly Natalie and Tracy flew back hard into their seats. The car itself wasn't actually moving, but you couldn't tell from looking at them. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They both screamed. "We pathed them," Nat started. "We hath to thtop this thing." "We canth thtop, ith too dangerouth. We hath to thlow down firth." "Bullthit. I order you. Juth thtop thith thing. THTOP!!!" With what looked like great difficulty, Tracy reached over with her right hand and pulled the parking break. Just as suddenly as they flew back into the seats, they flew forward. Tracy because she had her seatbelt on, was okay, her head not hitting the dashboard. Nat, on the other hand was not so lucky. Her head hit the steering wheel, and she set off the horn. Nick awoke with a start. Was that a woman's scream he heard? Yes... and that was the horn of his Caddy! Nat or Tracy must be in trouble! Nick raced down to his garage as fast as he could. He would've gone through the skylight and come into the garage from outside, had it not still been daylight. As he approached the elevator, he could hear that it was moving up. And he could tell that Nat and Tracy were in it. He prayed that they were both okay. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die," Tracy said to Natalie, as she leaned, as if in pain in the corner of the lift. Natalie started to slowly back out of the elevator. Nick was very concerned. "Tracy, are you okay?" He asked. It both surprised and frightened Nick when Tracy lifted a sword out of nowhere and pointed it at Natalie. "Hello," she continued. "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Nick was even more surprised when Natalie pulled out a sword and pointed it at Tracy. "Stop saying that!" She exclaimed. Then suddenly Nick remembered. Both his partner and his best friend had lost their minds. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father! PREPARE TO DIE!" Suddenly, Nat dropped the sword in her hand and ran upstairs to Nick's bedroom. Tracy followed but didn't drop her weapon. Nick, however, managed to grab the sword from his partner. Nat giggled wildly and slammed Nick's bedroom door behind her. Tracy slowed to an ominous walk up the stairs and to the bedroom. She knocked on the door once. No answer. She knocked again. Natalie opened the door. Tracy stood up straight and her stance had changed somehow from the one she would normally stand in. "Sarah Conner?" She asked in as deep a voice as she could. "Yes?" Tracy pulled out her department issue pistol and aimed it at Natalie. "Give it up, Scarlet," Nat said suddenly. "There are no more bullets left in that gun!" Tracy's stance changed yet again. "Oh, come on. You don't think I'm going to fall for that old trick?" "It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Body in the study. Two for the chandelier, two at the lounge door, and one for the singing telegram." "That's not six." "One plus two plus two plus one." "Uh, uh. There was only one shot that got the chandelier. That's one plus two plus ONE plus one." "Even if you are right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus TWO plus one plus one." Nick couldn't take this anymore. All this movie reenactment was just too weird for him. The sun was setting and he did what any normal vampire would do, without telling Tracy or Nat, he bolted to the Raven and hoped that Janette would let him in. --- "Janette, it's totally weird. It's like they're oblivious to everything but each other and the movies they're reenacting," Nick said, sipping a glass of bloodwine. "Ah, Nicola, how can you call them insane when you insist on starving yourself with that swill you drink day in and day out?" Janette replied, not wanting to really take sides. She, too knew the pains of boredom. Especially when winter storms like this one caused her to close the Raven for extended periods of time. She wondered how Nick could not understand what was happening with the two mortal woman. He sat sipping his drink for a few more moments, not saying anything. Without warning, LaCroix stormed out of his office, in the back of the Raven. His eyes were amber with hints of red. He was pissed. "Nicholas!" He cried out angrily. Janette and Nick didn't know what had caused their master such distress, but they sure wanted to know why. "In the past hour and a half, I have received over 50 email messages!" "You're on a lot of mailing lists, LaCroix. It's perfectly normal to have a busy spell," Nick defended. He was hoping upon hope that the inevitable didn't happen. So he tried to convince LaCroix the otherwise as well. "I've received mail from the following mailing lists, Nicholas: the Hair Club for Men, Midget Bowling Fans, the Albino Hedgehog Preservation Foundation..." As LaCroix read off the list he had printed out, and it was a long one, Nick realized the inevitable did happen. Natalie and Tracy had found his email address book and subbed LaCroix to all these lists. As the master vampire finished, he glared at Nick. "Nicholas, you are responsible for this, and I will not tolerate such an act again." "I'm going to call over there," He said, pulling out his cell-phone. "We don't know *they* did it." LaCroix knew what had happened to the two mortals in his son's loft. He knew that they were suffering cabin fever. But even a 2000 year old vampire can take only so much high-jinks. He dialed his loft. *ring* "Ah-lo?" Tracy said in a cheesy French accent. "Tracy?" Nick was unsure if it was her or not. "Ah. Oui oui. This is Tracy Vetter," she continued still in the accent. "Tracy, you didn't happen to find my email address book did you?" "Is it black, leather-bound, and sitting by your laptop?" "Yeah, that's it." "Oui oui. We found your address book." "You didn't happen to sub LaCroix to a bunch of inane mailing lists as a joke did you?" "Mind your own business." "Tracy, I just wanted to know. LaCroix is very pissed off right now about it." "You don't frighten us, English pig-dog! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person. I blow my nose on you, so-called Arthur-king, you and your silly English kiniggets." "What?!? Could you please put Natalie on." "I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." Tracy hung up the phone on Nick. Nick dial his home again. *ring* *ring* *ring* His answering machine picked up. "You've reached Nick Knight." Then suddenly the voice changed. It was Nat's. She was trying to make her voice as deep as Nick's but it was still distinctly her voice. "I'm either asleep, blaming myself for things that aren't my fault, or having a flashback to Medieval France. Leave a message after the beep." The muffled giggles of Natalie and Tracy could be heard right after the message. LaCroix, now realizing that the two woman were too far gone for anyone to control, went back into his office and just hoped that it would stop snowing soon. --- Meanwhile in the loft... Tracy, playing the piano better than Nick ever could, sang along to Natalie's reggae rendition of Jerry Lee Lewis' "Great Balls of Fire" "You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain," they sang in really good unrehearsed harmony. "Too much love drives a mon insane. You broke my will, but what a thrill. Goodness, gracious, I love Jamaica!" --- Nick paced the floor of the Raven for what seemed like hours. Should he stay in the Raven? The sun was going to be up in just over an hour. Should he go home and see what damage Nat and Tracy might have inflicted on his loft? God, he didn't even want to think about what those two might have done to his home. Or his car. After pacing back and forth some more, the blonde vampire decided to go home just to check. Not that he didn't trust his mortal compatriots, it was that... Okay, in their condition, he didn't trust his mortal compatriots. Upon entering his home, Nick found Tracy raiding his wardrobe. "Jeez, how many vests does Nick own?" she asked, thinking it was Natalie that had entered the bedroom. "Eep!" Tracy said, turning around to find Nick and not Natalie. It came out less from shock that it was Nick, more from modesty. She had just gotten out of the shower and had nothing but a towel on. Just as Tracy was jumping behind the closet door concealing her body from Nick's view, Nat walked in. She was wearing one of his T-shirts and a pair of his pants, which were obviously too large for her. "Come on, Tracy, hurry up. We've got to move. Chop chop." Tracy started to get dressed as fast as she could in Nick's closet, seeing as how he didn't have enough sense to leave so that she could get changed in a place that was other. "You two are snowed in. Where are you going to?" Nick asked, genuinely curious. "We've got a blind date with destiny, and she's ordered the lobster!" Nick regretted asking Nat anything. Soon Tracy was dressed in a pair of Nick's jeans, which didn't look quite so big on her as they did on Nat, but then that's probably because of the height difference, and one Nick's button-downs that he probably hadn't worn since 1992. They very merrily pranced down the steps into the kitchen, where it appeared they were having more coffee. Nick thought. Then he saw Nat pull out a box of Snacky Cakes from the cabinet. Obviously a bit of food Nat stashed away for whenever she might have gotten hungry while staying in the loft. Nick knew despite the fact the sun was only minutes from rising, he would have to risk going back to the Raven. Ten more hours of Natalie and Tracy's cabin fever was going to drive him insane, as well. Nick moved quickly but not fast enough for Nat not to see him leave. "Where are you going?" She cried out to him. "I was going to make espresso!" --- Nick returned to the loft shortly after sunset. The place was empty. He searched all around for any sign of Natalie or Tracy, until he found the note on the refrigerator. Nick, The roads got cleared pretty quickly today, so me and Tracy went home. See you tonight at work. Hugs! Natalie :) --- He entered the 96th to find Tracy at her desk. Nick looked at her. She seemed to be back to normal. But could he be sure? It wasn't long before Natalie entered the precinct as well, to drop off paper work. As usual, she came over to the desks of her two favorite homicide detectives and sat down for a chat. It was amazing to Nick. Both seemed perfectly fine. Their usual selves, yet, 24 hours before, they both seemed they needed to be put in straight-jackets. Reese came out of his office to greet Dr. Lambert and said, "So I hear you three were snowed in together for most of the blizzard. What was it like being roomies for a couple of days?" "It was cool," Nat said. "Yeah, it got kinda dull at times, but you know, when there isn't much to do you make you're own fun," Tracy added. "Although, I think Nick here couldn't stand being stuck indoors for so long." ---------- The End. The End. The End!!! questions, comments, and fashion tips can be directed to gugenhoffen@chickmail.com or eviltiff@webcity.ca *********************************** chickclick.com http://www.chickclick.com girl sites that don't fake it. http://www.chickmail.com sign up for your free email. http://www.chickshops.com boutique shopping from chickclick.com ***********************************