Subject: Bring Me To Life 1/2 Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2004 22:04:04 -0800 From: Kristen Fife To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Yes, the third in the Fallen album inspired fictions. This one has been stewing in my mind for about a week. This takes place right after "The Human Factor" and assumes that Janette actually died in the episode. Permission to archive at the FTP site, Immortal Beloveds if appropriate, and the NNPack (light or dark). Usual disclaimers, Sony/Tristar own the kids, not me. ============================================= Bring Me to Life Kristen Fife 2/2004 Nick sat in his living room in a black funk. He kept reliving the night Janette died. He still could not believe that she had refused his offer to bring her across. Somehow he had always believed that he would become mortal, that she would outlive him, watch over his children and grandchildren. Janette had always loved her life in the darkness. She had never once regretted her choice to become a vampire. And then, to not only lose her to a mortal death, but to know that she had also found the true love of her life-and that is was not him-was a blow he didn't know how to deal with. It was selfish and unworthy, but the truth. He took another swig of the bloodwine. He had had several cases sent over from the Raven, human blood not cow. LaCroix had been suprisingly gentle with him. And now it was just the two of them. Janette was gone. Forever. The void in his soul was like a black hole. Suddenly the lift roared to life. He glanced lifelessly over at the steel metal doors, knowing that the only person that would brave his temper in the middle of the day was Natalie. He waited to hear her familiar heartbeat come within range of his hearing. He hoped he could at least be civil to her. Her shock over Janette's return to mortality had been well hidden by her professional demeanor. She, of all the people in his life, understood a portion of the feelings he was experiencing. She may not have fully understood his relationship with Janette, but she knew that his former paramour was a part of the warp and weft of the fabric of his life. Not only was Janette his sister and lover, she was also a part of who he was. To lose her was worse than losing his arm or an eye. His body parts would regenerate. Janette would never be reborn to him. Natalie stepped off the lift and found Nick brooding on the couch. She knew he was hurting in ways she could not even comprehend. But she also knew that he needed her. With Janette gone, he had no one but LaCroix and her. LaCroix was a part of the life he hated, she represented the light and life he aspired to. In a way, Janette's return to mortality and subsequent death vindicated them both and gave them both hope. But he wasn't ready to accept any of the promise that her death held. Right now all he knew was that a part of his life was gone, never to be regained. She crossed the threshhold of the lift into the dark and gloomy loft. Never had the air seemed so heavy, so palpably filled with despair. She quietly walked over to the chair facing the couch. She sat down, still not saying a word. She knew Nick was aware of her, but she knew that his mind and feelings were far away in time and space. She couldn't follow him where his feelings and memories traveled; all she could do was quietly offer her support. And her love. She had long ago remembered what had happened at the Azure on Valentine's Day, as well as the events preceding that fateful night. In her own mind, part of her wondered if perhaps losing Janette would soften LaCroix to the "agreement" he had with Nick, and that perhaps there was some way that they could love each other to the best of their abilities. After about an hour of silence, Nick finally started talking. He talked about the first time he had seen Janette, about her gaiety and capriciousness. He related tales from all the centuries they had been together. Funny stories, sad tales, detailed vignettes, remembrances of love and cruelty. Natalie didn't say anything, but let him talk. He needed to express his own love for the woman that had led him down the dark path that had brought him into her own life. She had her own debt that she owed to Janette. He rambled on and on throughout the afternoon. Finally, the event that Natalie had been waiting for occurred. Nick started crying, blood tears trailing down his pale cheeks like angry scars. She got up and went over to him and put her arms around him, pulling him into her embrace. Nick was soon sobbing, his grief raw and ripping. Natalie held him and rocked him, making small soothing sounds while he wept for Janette. As the sun began to set, his sobs started quieting, but he still stayed within the circle of Natalie’s comforting arms. He feared that if he let her go, she, too would disappear. She was so much more fragile in his own mind than Janette ever was. The terror of Natalie leaving his life was an irrational fear that he wasn’t even conscious of. Whether by her own choice, to try and move on and have a normal life or by death taking her from him, he was sure that he wouldn’t live beyond her leaving. Finally he raised his head, his eyes haunted and filled with pain. Other than the soothing sounds she had made while holding him, Natalie hadn’t said a word. As he looked at her, he saw her love for him reflected in her eyes. Finally, she spoke softly. “I called the station and told them that your sister was killed in a terrible accident and that you needed at least a week off. I also took some sick time. If you need me, I’ll stay with you.” Her gentle words and the selflessness she displayed touched him. He had walled off his love for her for so long that he was afraid to let it out. She looked at him and he knew she remembered everything. “Nat, I need to tell you something. I’ve been keeping something from you for the last year and a half…” She reached up and stroked a golden curl off of his forehead. “Shhhh. I know. I remember everything. I did about a month after Valentine’s Day. I know why you said those things to LaCroix, and about your agreement. It doesn’t matter. I’m here, and I’m not leaving you. You are my life, Nicholas de Brabant Knight. I have no intention of going anywhere or of letting LaCroix or the Enforcers or anyone else in the Community take me away from you. Ever.” __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Get better spam protection with Yahoo! Mail. http://antispam.yahoo.com/tools Subject: Bring Me to Life 2/2 Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2004 22:08:39 -0800 From: Kristen Fife To: FKFIC-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU Disclaimers in Part 1/2 Bring Me to Life Part 2 Kristen Fife 2/2004 At her words, the frozen maw inside of him started to thaw. how can you see into my eyes like open doors leading you down into my core where i've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home He gazed into her deep blue eyes and finally felt as if he was home. She was his anchor in the dark tempest of his life. wake me up inside wake me up inside call my name and save me from the dark bid my blood to run before i come undone save me from the nothing i've become She looked at him fearlessly and realized that she would do anything it took to keep Nick in her life. If she had to become a vampire, so be it. This man was the other half of her soul. Although Janette had a much deeper, older claim on his heart, she knew deep inside of her that he was hers, even if Janette had still been alive; Janette had known it too when she left for Montreal. Natalie was quite sure that she would fight the entire vampire community to keep Nick with her. She had faced her own untold mortal griefs, and she had no intention of losing the one thing that made her complete. Ever. now that i know what i'm without you can't just leave me breathe into me and make me real bring me to life wake me up inside wake me up inside call my name and save me from the dark bid my blood to run before i come undone save me from the nothing i've become bring me to life Nick leaned forward and kissed her desperately. He needed to feel her life and warmth, to know that she was really with him and not just a dream. She was light, life, love, hope, and salvation in his world of violence and death. Eight hundred years of guilt and blackness weighed upon him, and the unfaltering love of this mortal woman was a gift he would never disregard. He would cherish her, love her, and keep her as safe as he was able. frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead all this time i can't believe i couldn't see kept in the dark but you were there in front of me i've been sleeping a thousand years it seems got to open my eyes to everything without a thought without a voice without a soul don't let me die here there must be something more bring me to life They held tightly to one another as the world swirled on around them. As long as they had one another, they knew that nothing was impossible. ==================================== This song has a driving beat and a desperate quality to it. To me, it embodies all the force and passion of the world Cohen and Parriott created and that we catch glimpses of. Kristen __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Get better spam protection with Yahoo! Mail. http://antispam.yahoo.com/tools