Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 1/21
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 15:21:08 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: darknn@yahoogroups.com, NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

You must see to be continued to have it all. Send feedback to
DanaKnight@aol.com.

Scars of the Heart
By Judith Freudenthal

     In the shadows between street lights, a man walked up to another man
and
shot him in the temple as he walked by. The victim was caught totally off
guard, and didn't see the gun until it was too late. The single shot dropped
him in his tracks. The killer quickly made sure no one was watching and
doubled back. He put the gun in the victim's hand and had him pull the
trigger to get gunshot residue on his hand. He had a string tied to the
trigger, which when pulled triggered the shot, thus his fingers weren't in
the way. The shot sank into the grass. The killer removed this bullet and
dropped it into a clear plastic bag, which he shoved into his pocket. Once
he
was sure that the setting would hold up to scrutiny, he left.
     About fifteen minutes later a passerby out walking his dog saw a dark
figure on the street and as he approached the body, he realized the shadow
next to his head was actually blood. He called the police.
     A squad car responded almost immediately and one of the officers took
his statement.
     Dr. Natalie Lambert arrived with the rest of the forensic team. They
each set about their duties. Natalie walked over to the officer in charge.
     "Miller, what can you tell me?"
     "Not much. Mr. Greene stumbled across the body as he walked his dog.
That was about half an hour ago.
     Natalie walked over to the body and began her examination of the area,
noticing that the gun was held in the hand on the same side as the gunshot
wound was. There were no apparent signs of a struggle. She squatted down for
a closer look at the victim. She jotted down notes on her clipboard as she
did her preliminary examination.
     Detectives Nick Knight and Don Schanke arrived on the scene and talked
with Officer Miller. She filled them in one what little she had. Nick and
Schanke then headed over to Natalie.
     "Hi, Nat," Nick said.
     "Hi, guys," Natalie said. "It appears to be a suicide, but I won't know
for sure until I get him back to the lab. TOD appears to be approximately an
hour, maybe two ago. Cause of death appears to be a gunshot wound to the
temple. I believe he died instantly."
     "Isn't this an odd place to commit suicide?" Schanke asked.
     "Maybe he didn't want to do it at home," Nick said. "Maybe he wanted
where he died to be as bleak as whatever drove him to it."
     Later that night, Natalie had some reports to drop off at the precinct.
While she was there, Cohen asked her if two recent cases could possibly be
connected. Natalie told Cohen, Nick and Schanke that she didn't know, but
would look into it. She didn't think there would be anything to find, but
would still check into it. She knew she'd been surprised before.
     "Natalie, what do you have on tonight's suicide?" Schanke asked.
     "It's all in the preliminary report." She saw that Schanke wanted her
to
summarize it for him. "I'm pretty sure it was a suicide. The shot was at the
right angle and the .38 was held close enough to the temple. There was
gunshot residue on the victim's hand, and the weapon was held correctly for
it to be a suicide."
     "No witnesses have been found," Nick said. "They canvassed the whole
neighborhood."
     Before the end of her shift, Natalie found something in one of the
reports that caused her to take a second look at the body.
     Nick and Schanke entered as she was finishing up.
     "I thought you finished his autopsy," Schanke commented.
     "I thought so too. Some test results made me go back and take a second
look. This was definitely a homicide staged to convincingly look like a
suicide. If it wasn't for the test results, it would've been marked down as
a
suicide. The killer had almost everything right. From the angle of the
gunshot the killer approached from the front, and was almost right next to
the victim when he fired. Which is part of how it looked so much like a
suicide."
     "How do you explain the residue on the victim's hand if he didn't fire
the weapon?" Schanke asked.
     "The victim did fire it. Two shells were missing, providing he filled
it
all the way. The victim just had some help firing it. And the killer must've
taken the second slug with him as the techs didn't find it and they did a
thorough search."

     The next night, Natalie was in her office busy doing an autopsy. She
stopped, stripped off her gloves and went to check out a file. When she
found
what she thought she might, she regloved and continued with her autopsy,
recording her findings and general notes into the tape recorder.
     Natalie finished the autopsy and made a few notes. As she worked on the
file, questions about two other cases came to mind. When she finished the
report she was working on she pulled out those files and reread them. She
found a few things and jotted them down in a separate file, and pulled out
one other file and did the same thing. She didn't know if they were related,
or if they were, what the link was. She knew she'd keep on looking for any
connection, if there was one to be found as she couldn't leave a puzzle
unsolved. She knew she couldn't tell anyone about it until she had more than
a few notes that had no obvious connection.
     Natalie needed a break so she stripped off her gown and slipped on her
coat, grabbed her purse and headed for the coffee shop down the block.
     The next day she had a tough case. A man in his mid thirties had gone
out a tenth floor window. The guy had lived after hitting the pavement, but
not for long. Natalie, Schanke and Nick found the body to be a mass of
broken
bones, many of which were very evident. They all thought something looked a
little odd about the scene but couldn't quite put their finger on it.
     Natalie went back to her lab to do the autopsy. As she closely examined
the body she found that it was amazing he had an unbroken bone in his body.
Some bones were crushed, there was bleeding all throughout the body, some
from the broken bones, some from the crushed ones, some from the internal
injuries. She noticed that some of the internal injuries were from the
broken
bones, and some was from the sudden stop as the body hit the ground. She
found a few things that didn't add up and put them into her notes, as well
as
the official report. She also added them to her separate set of notes.
     A while later Nick and Schanke entered for the preliminary report.
     "He went out the window and splatted on the pavement. If you want the
longer version, he broke or crushed just about every bone. Massive internal
injuries and bleeding from the bones or the impact trauma. He probably lived
no more than half an hour, an hour at the maximum. He might've been
conscious
for most of it."
     "OUCH," Schanke said.
     "You got that right," Natalie said. "I'll have some more info for you
when the test results come back.
     "Are those his x-rays?" Schanke asked seeing several x-ray films hung
on
the light board.
     "Yeah. Quite interesting to look at. That's his right foot and ankle."
     "Yikes. There's nothing left of it."
     "That's not all that odd with injuries like his. The force of such an
impact does nasty things to the human bodies. As MacGyver once said, it's
not
the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop."
     After Nick and Schanke left, Natalie pulled out the new file she'd been
jotting stuff down in and reread it, but still couldn't find a connection.

     A week later, she was called to the scene of a crime. She arrived and
was NOT pleased when she saw the victim. It was a burn victim. One that had
been severely burned.
     "What's the preliminary report?" Schanke asked.
     Natalie glared at him, with a 'what do you think killed him' look, as
she said. "He was torched. And from the expression and body language he was
conscious most of the time." Natalie shuddered.
     "You okay?" Nick asked, a little concerned.
     "I'll be okay. You know how much these cases bother me."
     "Yeah, I know. Want to come to the loft later for movies and dinner?"
     "Sounds great. I'll see you at the end of the shift."
     Schanke's expression suggested that something else would happen.
     "We're just friends," Natalie told Schanke as she gave him a playful
slap on the arm.
     Back at the morgue, Natalie was starting her autopsy when Grace walked
in.
     "I thought you'd like the help. I know how much these bother you."
     "Thanks. I appreciate it."
     Natalie conducted the autopsy, finding some really odd things. For one
thing there was a bullet lodged in his left shoulder, his right leg had the
type of fracture that being hit with a crowbar, two by four, or something
like that would cause. As she got inside the body, she found two definite
stab wounds.
     "Whoever did this to him wanted him to suffer, and I think the torching
was an afterthought. It's almost as if the killer wasn't satisfied with his
work, or maybe the guy didn't seem to be suffering enough so he decided to
up
the pain level, kill him and make it hard to identify him, or his non burn
injuries," Natalie said. "The killer probably figured we'd write it off to
the burns and not look further." Natalie wondered if they were trying to
conceal the identity, and if so, why. And if it was connected to any of her
other cases.
     After she finished the autopsy and had done as much of the paperwork as
she could, she jotted down her latest notes in her other file. She reread
it,
knowing there was probably a connection somewhere, she just had to find it.
The only thing she knew for certain was that the crimes were getting
nastier.

     While Natalie was out getting coffee and a snack, someone rifled
through
her files along with her desk, being careful not to disturb anything. The
intruder wished he had the time to carefully search her computer, but only
had time for a quick check. After making sure he'd left no trace of his
visit, he left.
     Natalie returned, paper bag in hand and stopped by Grace's desk. She
pulled one of the two coffee containers out of the bag and set it on her
friend's desk along with a chocolate chip muffin.
     "Thanks, Nat," Grace said.
     "You're welcome."

     A few days later, Natalie was out at a crime scene and Grace was
checking up on some test results. An intruder entered Natalie's office and
set an object down next to her computer. The optical drive was hooked up to
Natalie's computer and the entire hard drive was downloaded onto the optical
drive's own hard disk. While that was happening he quickly went through her
files, starting with the ones for the last couple of months, working his way
towards the most recent. When the downloading was finished, he quickly
unhooked his drive, stuck it in his pocket, looked over the last file, which
happened to be Nat's notes about all the oddities she'd found, and left,
leaving no trace that he had ever been there.

     The next evening, Natalie went over her notes trying to find any
connection between the recent additions to the file and the notes already
there. She knew there was a connection, and probably one that was staring
her
in the face, but she couldn't see it. She figured that she might be trying
too hard, and maybe she should put it away for a while and then maybe it
will
come to her.
     After a while of getting nowhere she needed a break and headed to the
coffee shop, stopping by Grace's desk on her way out to see if her friend
wanted anything.
     Inside the coffee shop, she walked up to the counter where Peter was.
He'd waited on her nearly every time she'd come in. He knew what she wanted
without her having to order.
     "Natalie, I won't be seeing you anymore. I got a better job at a big
hotel in Montreal. I'm going to be an apprentice chef."
     "That's great! Good luck. I'll miss talking with you," Natalie said,
knowing how much he wanted to become a chef.
     "Thank you. I'll miss talking with you too."
     He fixed her usual order for both her and Grace.

     The next night, Natalie stopped by the coffee shop for her nightly
coffee and muffin for both her and Grace. It was how they started off each
shift. Natalie suddenly realized she wasn't used to placing an order. She
placed her order. She liked Buckstar's chocolate coffee, while Grace
preferred Hazelnut. She paid for the order and headed back to the lab.

     A week later Natalie was at another crime scene. She was doing her
usual
thorough examination, jotting down her notes on her clipboard as she
examined
the latest victim.
     Nick and Schanke approached. She stood and gave them her report.
     "TOD approximately 4-6 hours ago. I think it's pretty obvious how he
died. I should know the caliber after I get him back to the lab."
     "Thanks," Schanke said. "You okay?"
     "Yeah. I'm just a little tired. I'm hoping it's not the start of the
latest bug."
     "It's sweeping the precinct," Schanke said.
     "Several of the lab techs are out because of it."

     Over the next week Natalie continued to feel a little run down. She
wished either she'd get sick or feel better. She knew she was going to spend
a major chunk of her day off trying to catch up on her sleep in hopes of
making herself feel better.

     When she had a few minutes she did a little more research to gather
evidence to back up her hunch. To turn it into a theory, then a provable
case. She knew that it would take a lot of research, a good amount of luck
and some skill to be able to prove her hunch is anything more than just a
hunch.
     She had to do a lot of thinking to figure out where to look next. Since
she was the head coroner on the night shift she had access to almost every
file she might need, but she knew she had to be careful in case someone in
the office wasn't who she thought they were. She hated to think about that
but had seen too many cases of it elsewhere, and even in this coroner's
office a year or so after she'd started here.

     When another week went by and she was still feeling rundown she ran a
couple of tests on herself, ruling out a couple of illnesses like mono,
strep
throat, anemia, and urinary tract infection. She knew the only test she
didn't have to run was a pregnancy one. She pulled her stethoscope out of
her
black bag and listened to her heartbeat, pleased it was fine, ruling out
heart problems, at least for now. She even checked her blood glucose level
and it was normal. She checked her blood pressure and it was fine. She was
relieved to have ruled those out.

to be continued...

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Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 2/21
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 15:21:56 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: darknn@yahoogroups.com, NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

You must see to be continued to have it all. Send all comments to
DanaKnight@aol.com

Scars of the Heart pt 2

     With the next body, Natalie got her first clue. She saw that two of the
bodies, the new one and the jumper worked at the same place, but different
branches.
     A few days later, Grace saw Natalie was looking a little worse.
     "You okay?" Grace asked concerned. She knew Nat had probably tested
herself for the most common illnesses and wouldn't go to a doctor unless she
had to.
     "Just tired."
     "Want some coffee?" Grace asked.
     "That sounds good."
     "Same flavor?"
     "Yeah. Thanks," Natalie said.
     Grace headed to their favorite coffee shop and placed her order. The
guy
behind the counter fixed the coffee and passed the two cups up to the
cashier. Grace added a couple of apple cinnamon muffins then paid for it.
     When she got back she gave Natalie her coffee and muffin.
     "Thanks."
     Grace leaves and a few moments later she reenters Nat's office.
     "Something wrong?" Nat asked as she was about to take a sip.
     "That smells really good. Would you mind switching?"
     "Not at all. I haven't touched it yet."
     "Thanks. Neither have I."
     They switch cups and Grace heads back to her desk. Both ladies continue
on with their work, sipping at their coffee once it's cool enough to drink.
     A while later Natalie's walking by Grace and sees her yawning.
     "I thought I was the tired one," Nat teased.
     "I don't know what happened. I'm tired."
     "Maybe it's the lack of clients?" Natalie asked.
     "Maybe," Grace said. "You up for lunch soon?"
     "Sure. Where should we go?" Nat asked.
     "Panda Pavilion? The diner?"
     "How about the diner? It's quicker and I'm not really in the mood for
Chinese, or Japanese," Nat said grinning at the shocked look on Grace's
face,
knowing her friend was teasing her. "Very funny."
     "About an hour?"
     "Sounds good. How about a candy bar? I think we could both use the
sugar."
     "Okay."
     Nat grabbed them both a chocolate bar from the break room vending
machine. She gave Grace hers on her way back into her office.
     They both worked on their paperwork until lunchtime. Natalie made sure
she had her wallet and cell phone stuffed into her pocket as they headed
out.
She double-checked to make sure her phone was on.

     Over the next few days, Grace noticed that Natalie wasn't quite
herself,
yet couldn't figure out exactly what it was. She knew that if she asked Nat,
she'd get the same "I'm fine" or "I'm tired" for an answer.
     Nick and Schanke noticed it as well and also knew they'd get nothing
useful from Natalie if they asked her. They knew she probably checked
herself
out, at least for the things she could, knowing how much she hated going to
the doctor.

     In an executive business office somewhere in town, a middle aged, dark
haired man in an expensive business suit was seated behind a desk. Standing
before him was a younger man in a nice suit.
     "Our recent efforts are being noticed," the younger man said.
     "Very good. How are the other things proceeding?" The older man asked.
     "They're about the same," the younger man said.
     "I want to see an increase by this time next week."
     "You will."
     Natalie wound up working late as there was a bus accident. A bus and a
full cement truck had collided head on. The bus driver had been decapitated.
There were three other deaths, several severe injuries and many minor ones.
Most of the minor injuries were cuts, bruises and broken bones.
     "I'd hate to be the boss of either company," Schanke commented. "I see
enough lawsuits against both companies to make several lawyers extremely
happy.
     "I know," Nick said.
     Nick and Schanke set out to interview as many as they could and keep
tabs on the rest of the crime scene. The cement truck driver had a gash on
his forehead and had been taken to the hospital for treatment and
observation.
     The next night, Schanke and Nick stopped by the morgue.
     "Hi guys. What's up?" Natalie asked they entered.
     "The cement truck driver was high on heroin at the time of the crash."
     "That's just great," Nat said quite sarcastically. "I've got equally
good news for you. The bus driver's blood alcohol level was .7."
     All three are disturbed by this as it could've easily been prevented.
     "In a way, it's fitting. Two impaired drivers hurting each other. Too
bad a bunch of innocent passengers had to be caught in the middle," Schanke
said.
     Nick and Natalie agreed.
     The accident caused Nick and Schanke to VERY briefly wonder if Nat's
recent "not quite herself" behavior could have another reason. Both men
looked at each other, having the same thought, and subtly shook their heads
discounting the thought because they knew Nat was too smart to get hooked on
drugs. They knew it happened, but couldn't see Nat being one of those. They
both knew she did work too hard and didn't get much time off.

     The next week was a busy one for Nick, Natalie, Schanke, and Grace. At
the end of it, Nick and Schanke figured they worked at least eighty hours,
and figured Nat probably worked a few more than that. They were tired and in
desperate need of a good night's sleep and a day off.
     Natalie spent two days in court and had done at least a dozen
autopsies.
     Nat drank more coffee during the week in an attempt to stay awake and
alert but it didn't seem to help. One night she wondered if they'd given her
decaf by mistake.
     She and Nick had to cancel their movie night due to their heavy work
load, much to the disappointment of them both. They really enjoyed watching
movies together.
     Nat hadn't found anything noteworthy in her recent cases, at least
nothing of the same oddness as those she'd made the separate file on. She
wasn't sure where to go for the next lead on the slim clue she already had.
She didn't want to ask Nick because it probably wouldn't lead to much and
she
didn't want him going off like he did on the Catherine Barrington
investigation as well as one or two others. Nick had nearly gotten himself
and Schanke in serious trouble, mainly career wise, those times and she
wasn't about to be the cause of the next such problem.
     The next week was a little slower, much to the relief of Nick, Natalie,
Schanke and Grace. Natalie's friends were able to notice that she was a
little more "not quite herself" but they still couldn't quite put their
finger on it. Others at both the Coroner's Office and the precinct started
to
notice it as well. They had no better luck at figuring out what was
different. Natalie spent another two days in court and did about seven
autopsies.
     Late that week things slowed down a little more, giving everyone a
chance to catch their breath. They were relieved when they figured out that
barring any major disaster, they'd be working closer to 40-45 hours that
week.
     Late one shift, Grace got both her and Natalie coffee. Once again they
switched cups before either could drink out of their cup. Before they could
actually drink their coffee they got busy. They couldn't drink it as fast as
they usually did. Grace was tired by the time her shift was finished.
     "I might be coming down with the latest bug," Grace said as she grabbed
her jacket and purse.
     "I hope not. Go home and get some rest. Don't forget the vitamins and
dark chocolate."
     "They all sound great. I'll see you tomorrow," Grace said before she
left for home.
      Natalie finished the report she was working on and headed home. She
stopped by the diner as she was too tired to cook, and it was the closest
she
was going to get to home cooking, at least that morning.
     Natalie went home, changed and ate dinner while watching her favorite
show. Afterwards she took a nice long, relaxing, hot shower before crawling
into her covers for a full night's sleep. Her first in nearly two weeks.
     The next night Grace came in and Natalie noticed her friend was in a
great mood.
     "I see you're feeling better," Nat cheerfully said.
     "Yeah. I followed doctor's orders," Grace said teasing Natalie.
     Grace headed out to see if some of the test results Natalie and others
were waiting for were ready.
     Natalie didn't have any pressing work at the moment. No files to work
on, no bodies to autopsy, and didn't have to prepare for court until the end
of her shift. She pulled out her file with all the notes she'd been making
on
any oddities in her cases. After she reread her notes she pulled a file from
her records and realized there was a connection there. Both men had similar
gunshot wounds. She knew she'd have to check and see if the caliber and
rifling patterns matched. If so, she could link two more of the "odd" cases
together.
     Natalie was about to call and see if the ballistics were in but was
called to the field.
     While Natalie was at the crime scene, someone entered her office,
again,
and went through her files and notes. They also downloaded her hard drive
and
left without anyone knowing they had been there.
     Natalie met up with Nick and Schanke at the crime scene. The three of
them arrived at about the same time. They walked over to the victim
together.
After taking a look Nick and Schanke went about their other duties while
Natalie examined the victim.
     Natalie squatted down by the victim to do her examination, jotting down
required information and notes on her clipboard. Nick and Schanke talked
with
the officer in charge for a few minutes. Schanke headed out to check out the
crime scene area and talk to the various police and forensic people there.
Nick talked with witnesses, giving the crime scene a once over as he moved
around it. When he was finished with the witnesses he headed over to
Natalie.
     He stopped beside her and noticed that she seemed to be a little sore,
as well as her usual tiredness.
     "You okay?" He asked a bit concerned.
     "It must be all the hours catching up, my sleeping wrong, lifting
something heavy or moving wrong," she offered as possible explanations.
     "Stop by later and I'll give you a massage," Nick said with a playful
grin.
     "Sounds wonderful. I'll be by after my shift." She returned his playful
grin.
     "I'll even provide dinner." He loved the smile that brought to her
face.
     Schanke approached causing Nick and Natalie to be a bit more
businesslike, not in the mood to hear his teasing them about their
relationship.
     "The victim is a female, mid twenties. She was strangled and probably
sexually assaulted as well. TOD is about two hours ago. I'll know more after
I get her back to the lab."
     When the bagged body is wheeled by and put into the back of the
Coroner's Office van, Natalie heads for her car. Nick and Schanke see if
there's anything else they need to do before heading back to the precinct to
start the paperwork.
     Natalie stopped by the coffee shop on her way back, needing a cup of
coffee, and got one for Grace as well. She was hungry and picked up a snack
for them both as well, knowing she worked better when her stomach didn't
start growling in the middle of the autopsy.
     When Natalie had finished the autopsy and the paperwork, she called on
the ballistics she'd meant to call about earlier. She was, yet wasn't,
surprised to find the ballistics from the two gunshot victims matched. She
was glad to be able to link two of the cases in her oddities file together.
She had a hunch there was still more to it but anything else eluded her at
the moment.

     In the same office building as earlier, the younger well dressed man
stood before the older one in the more expensive suit.
     "Several problems have come up." The younger man wasn't happy to see
his
boss's displeasure. "First off, there's a union problem at the Alberta
factory. Sales are down in the Halifax region. And we might have to push up
the time table on the other project."
     "Problem?" asked the other man, wanting to know the details.
     "Yes."

     Natalie was in her lab sipping her coffee while waiting for the most
recent victim to arrive. She was in her scrubs and gown. Moments later the
body arrived and she helped the orderly transfer it to the steel table. She
gloved up, slipped on her apron and started her external examination, making
notes into her tape recorder as she went. When she finished the external
exam
she started on the internal one.
     Her last important task before she headed out was to review the case
she'd finished two weeks ago. It was a murder for life insurance case.
Natalie pulled the file and read it over. She remembered most of it, needing
to refresh her memory on a point or two. She figured she'd be on the stand
most of the day, especially with that particular defense lawyer. When she
felt secure about the next day's testimony she headed for Nick's loft.
     Nick arrived home and unpacked dinner, hoping she liked it. He saw that
her food had cooled during the trip and was in the process of reheating it
in
a frying pan when Natalie walked in.
     "That smells great. Did you make it?" She asked. She didn't think he
cooked, but he had surprised her before.
     "No. I'm just reheating it for   you. I hope it's good."
     "Fettuccini Alfredo. One of my favorites. Thanks."
     Natalie headed into the bathroom to change into something much more
comfortable. When she came out, she was dressed in sweats and socks.
     When the pasta's hot, Nick transferred it to a plate and handed it to
Natalie.
     "Careful. The plate might be hot. Would you like to watch a movie while
you eat?" Nick asked.
     "Sure. Why don't you set it up while I fix myself something to drink."
     Natalie set her plate down on the counter while she fixed herself a
soda, grabbed her silverware, napkin, plate and glass and headed for the
couch. She set the glass and plate on the coffee table, then settled herself
onto the sofa.
     "Are you sure you're okay? You seem really tired." He didn't know   how
to mention that she didn't seem quite like herself. He smelled something
different about her scent but couldn't identify it.
     He stuck the tape in the machine and joined her on the couch.
     "I've retested myself for mono, strep throat, anemia, and urinary tract
infection. I checked my heart, blood pressure and blood sugar level. All
come
up negative. If I don't feel better soon I'll take a few days off. Okay?"
     "Okay." He knew that was the best he could hope for from her.
     She picked up her plate and started eating as he started the movie.
     "Luigi's, right?"
     "How'd you'd know?"
     "He's the only one that makes it this way. I can't figure out what his
special ingredient is."
     Nick playfully wiggled his eyebrows.
     "No whammying," she said playfully.
     "Okay."
     They watched the movie, enjoying the chance to spend some long overdue
time together. When the movie was over, Nick rewound it and turned off the
equipment.
     "Stretch out on your stomach."
     Natalie did as told, stretching out on her stomach on the couch. Nick
gave her a full massage starting at her neck and working his way down and
across her shoulders. Her sighs of contentment were music to his ears. He
noticed all the knots in her shoulders and carefully worked each one out
before moving on to the next one. Once that was done he started on her back,
finding it just as tight and full of knots. He slowly worked them out one by
one, feeling her body relax further with each touch.
     He could tell from her slow, easy breathing that she'd fallen asleep.
He
didn't mind, knowing how much she needed it. He still couldn't believe the
trust she had in him. When he had worked his way down her back to her butt,
he continued down her legs and the last thing he did was massage her feet.
     Nick gently turned her over when he was finished, not wanting to
accidentally wake her. He covered her with the blanket from the back of the
couch.
     He very quietly got a bottle of cow blood from the fridge, drinking it
straight from the bottle, not wanting to risk waking her by clinking the
bottle and a glass. Afterwards he sat down and watched her for a few minutes
before he was inspired to go over to his painting corner. He picked up the
brush and painted a picture. When he tired he went upstairs, fetched his
alarm clock and set it up on the end table. He reset the time and the alarm
time so that it would wake her in plenty of time to get up, go home and
shower and change before she was due in court. When he was done, he headed
upstairs to sleep.

to be continued...

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Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 3/21
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 15:22:43 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: darknn@yahoogroups.com, NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

You must see to be continued to have it all. Comments to DanaKnight@aol.com.

Scars of the Heart pt 3

     A few hours later, Natalie was awoken by the alarm clock and
reluctantly
opened her eyes to hunt for it, not wanting to accidentally knock something
off the table and break it. She saw it on the end table behind her head and
turned it off, resisting the impulse to hit the snooze alarm. She sat up and
stretched, feeling great, yet she was a bit disappointed that she still felt
tired. Her muscles felt wonderful.
     She stood and folded the blanket, hanging it over the back of the couch
where it belonged. As she was leaving she saw Nick's painting. She was quite
surprised to see it was a beautiful portrait of her. She's stunned by how
perfectly he captured her. His love for her clearly evident in the painting.
She knew she could spend quite a while staring at the painting but that
voice
in the back of her mind reminded her that she had to get home and get ready
for her day in court.
     As Natalie entered her apartment she knew she had to do something nice
for Nick but couldn't think of what. She slipped out of her sweats and
stepped into the shower. It felt good, soothing. After her shower she
slipped
into one of her suits and headed out.
     She arrived at the court house and found her way to the right
courtroom.
She was met outside the courtroom by the prosecutor. After a quick briefing,
she went to the waiting room while the prosecutor went inside to present his
case. About two hours later Natalie was called to the stand, sworn in and
testified. She knew it wouldn't be easy knowing the two lawyers involved in
the case. Natalie gave her testimony and the defense lawyer tried to rip it
to shreds, and not too nicely either. Natalie was annoyed and frustrated but
kept her cool.
     As court adjourned for the day she was quite relieved that her part was
done. She called in to work to see if they needed her for any autopsies and
was relieved when they didn't.
     The next night she reported in for her shift, still tired. Schanke and
Nick arrived a few minutes after she did. Grace came in to give Natalie some
files.
She saw Nick's expression change, but he quickly hid it. "What did you want
to see me about?"
     "Here are the preliminary results on the Marcos and Parker cases,"
Grace
said as she handed Natalie the files.
     "We came to see if those reports were ready."
     "Maybe later." Natalie quickly flipped through them. "Nothing too
unexpected. Juan Marcos was killed by a .38 through the heart at close
range.
Jane Parker was killed by the knife wounds. The fatal one was the one to her
chest as it nicked the aorta."
     "Thanks, Nat. We'll be by later for the reports," Schanke said.
     "Nick, can I talk to you for a moment?"
     "Sure, Nat. Schanke, I'll meet you at the car."
     Schanke nodded and left them alone. Grace left to go about her own
duties.
     "Nick, about what I said earlier..."
     "Do you regret it?"
     "No. If I did, I'd do something about it. I want to be with you, even
if
it's just like we are. You give me more love and attention than many mortal
men do."
     Nick looked at her confused.
     "The looks you give me, the gentle touches, the little things you do to
make me feel special. The way you always know how I feel and what I need. As
well as other things. The playful kisses. One doesn't have to be having sex
to be loved."
     Nick could tell she meant every word she said and his mood greatly
brightened. "I feel the same way. You'll never know just how much I care for
you." He gently caressed her cheek bringing a smile to her lips.
     She knew her words had had the desired effects.
     He gave her a quick kiss on the lips as he left. She smiled.

     Nick, Schanke and Natalie get called to a building site. There they
find
a victim. He's in his thirties with a gunshot wound in his shoulder, abdomen
and knee. Natalie tells them that the guy was left there to slowly bleed to
death, that he was probably conscious the whole time. All three of them are
a
bit repulsed by the sheer brutality and lack of regard for human life.
     Nick and Schanke are at the precinct doing their paperwork, typing up a
few statements, wishing they had an eyewitness.
     Natalie was at the Coroner's Office, in her lab doing the autopsy. She
found a few oddities which she'd note in her other file later.
     Later, Nick and Schanke stopped by the morgue to exchange information
on
that case and a couple more. The most recent name was Gerald Brown. He
worked
for the same company as one of the other dead guys, but a different branch.
Natalie told them about the three bullet wounds in the victim and that if
he'd been found sooner, he might've survived. She comments that the
abdominal
wound injured the spleen causing him to slowly bleed to death.
     Schanke comments that the guy had no criminal record and from the
little
information they have, he was a nice guy who had never caused any trouble.
     They share a little more info.
     After the guys leave, Natalie writes down the new info into her notes,
some going only into the oddities notes. She rereads all her notes and finds
some even more unusual connections. She gets a really odd feeling, one
that'd
not quite a hunch, and knows that there could be trouble ahead.
     Natalie's called away from her office for a while. While she's gone,
it's searched again.
     Natalie's working on the first of two files she has to finish that
shift.

     Meanwhile across town, the younger well-dressed man is telling the
older
one that the trouble's even worse than they thought. The older man tells him
to solve it, but to be creative.

     Natalie finishes the last of the urgent paperwork for the two files.
She
tidies up her desk and sticks the files into her out box. She slips into her
suit jacket, grabs her purse and leaves.
     Natalie stops off at the diner to pick up some dinner. She orders
lasagna and talks with the staff as she's waiting. When her food's ready she
pays for it and leaves.
     As soon as Natalie entered her apartment she kicks off her shoes,
sighing with relief. She sets her purse and keys on the table by the door.
She drops the plastic bag holding her dinner onto her kitchen counter and
goes into the bedroom to change.
     Natalie comes out of her bedroom dressed in a long sleeved T-shirt and
knit slacks. She heads straight for her dinner, which she unpacks and
transfers to a plate. She grabs a glass of soda and heads into the living
room. She sits down on the couch and flips channels, stopping when she finds
the beginning of MacGyver. She watches him while she eats.

     Some time later, Natalie woke, not sure why she was in pain. She looked
around and was shocked by what she saw. <How did I get here?> flashed
through
her brain. With some trouble she got to her feet and headed for the nearest
phone, where she dialed Nick's number.
     He answered the phone. "Knight here."
     "I need your help," Natalie said, trying to stay calm.
     "I'll be there shortly." He was concerned about her because her
heartbeat betrayed her efforts to sound somewhat calm. He noticed that she
seemed to be a little scared as well.
     Nick hung up, grabbed his coat and keys before heading down to the
caddy. He was tempted to fly, but knew he'd need the car in case she was
hurt, or if they had to go somewhere.
     Natalie hung up the phone and headed for the kitchen. There she grabbed
several paper towels and pressed them against where she was bleeding.

to be continued...

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Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 4/21
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 15:25:45 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: darknn@yahoogroups.com, NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

You must see to be continued to have it all.

Scars of the Heart pt 4

     A few minutes later there was a knock on Natalie's door.
     "Nick, if that's you, let yourself in."
     Nick's concern rose. He pulled out his key ring, found her key and
unlocked the door. As soon as he opened the door the scent of fresh blood,
her blood, assaulted his senses causing his concern to skyrocket.
     "Natalie!" Nick called out anxiously.
     "In the kitchen," Natalie said as she carefully lifted the paper
towels,
pleased to see the bleeding had stopped.
     Nick entered the kitchen and saw the blood on her shirt and then the
blood soaked paper towels, and then was stunned to see the gashes on her
wrists.
     "Natalie, I'm taking you to the ER," he said, noticing she looked a
little pale.
     "No." She saw him about to protest. "Listen, please."
     He nodded and she continued. "They'll ask questions I don't have
answers
for. I honestly don't know what happened. I fell asleep on the couch
watching
'MacGyver' and woke up in the bathtub. I felt pain and looked down. Both
wrists had been slashed. Who ever did this didn't want me to die because
they
slit across my wrists rather than down them."
     "Nat, this could've killed you," Nick said worried.
     "Yes, but not as quickly. If they had slit down my wrists there
would've
been little anyone could've done, as I would've bled out quickly.
     "You still need to go to the ER," Nick looked at her wrists, keeping
the
vampire at bay the best he could. "Those are pretty deep. They need
stitches."
     "Nick, you were a doctor once."
     "Nat, you need a plastic surgeon."
     "Nick, you probably can do a better job than any doctor out there."
     Nick knew she was right. "Do you have the supplies?"
     "Check out my black bag. It's in the coat closet."
     "You'll need a painkiller."
     "There should be something in there."
     Nick retrieved her medical bag and brought it over to the kitchen
table.
He motioned for her to join him. She laid her arms on the table, palm side
up.
     Nick opened and dug through her medical bag. He found bandages,
antiseptic and an expired bag of blood, but nothing to suture with nor any
painkillers.
     "I'll be right back. Don't move."
     "I won't," she said. She knew that glare was his 'don't mess with me'
one and knew she'd better obey. She also knew that the less she moved the
less chance of aggravating her injuries and making them bleed heavily again.
     Nick left the apartment and headed for the roof. He took to the night
sky heading for Toronto General as it's the closest one.
     He landed in a dark area of the parking lot and entered the hospital.
Nick headed for the supply room as he knew he'd find the supplies he needed,
and would just whammy anyone who saw him. He couldn't get the necessary
drugs
without breaking into a locked cabinet and knew that any missing medication
would be investigated. He wasn't willing to take that risk.
     "You will not remember my being here," Nick said as he held both the
nurse's gaze and heartbeat.
     "I did not see you here," the nurse said in a trance.
     As soon as Nick left, the nurse shook his head, snapping out of it. He
continued on like nothing had happened.
     Minutes later, Nick returned to Natalie's apartment and let himself
back
in. He headed straight for the kitchen table.
     Natalie glared at him. He knew she knew he'd flown.
     "I needed to get there and back quickly. No, he won't remember my being
there."
     Nick studied the wounds more carefully.
     "When was the last time you had a Tetanus shot?"
     "A couple months ago. Why?"
     "Just as a precaution," Nick said. "I couldn't get Lidocaine. It's
going
to hurt when I clean and suture it." Nick thought a second "I could ease the
pain if you want. I promise I won't do anything else."
     "I know you won't. Okay."
     Nick caught Natalie's gaze and matched their heartbeats.
     "You will feel no pain while I clean and suture your wrists."
     He broke off contact. Natalie shook her head slightly to clear it.
     Nick tested the result by touching the right wrist's wound lightly.
Natalie showed no reaction.
     Nick opened one of the antiseptic towels he'd found in her medical bag
and gently cleaned the right wrist first. It started to bleed again which
threatened to bring the vampire to the surface. Nick shoved it back down
where it belonged. He opened and held a gauze pad to her wrist for a couple
minutes, applying light pressure, until the bleeding stopped.
     He then opened one of the suture kits, pulled out the pre-threaded
needle and thread. He made the first suture.
     He repeated the suture four more times before studying the result more
closely.
     Natalie examined her sutured wrist closely.
     "Nice job. I don't think anyone else could've done it better." She
noticed he'd made the sutures as small as possible while still doing their
job.
     "I'm glad you approve."
     Nick applied a flesh colored bandage over it, knowing that if he'd used
a regular gauze pad and adhesive tape, she'd have removed it before she went
out or saw anyone.
     Nick turned his attention to her left wrist, where he cleaned then
stopped the fresh bleeding while keeping the vampire under wraps, and
sutured
her wrist just as he had the other one. She watched him work, admiring his
skill.
     "You should be a doctor. You're probably better with your hands than I
am," she said.
     "You're one of the best I've seen," Nick said. "You're the best one
who’
s worked on me." He applied a flesh colored bandage to the left wrist.
     "Thanks." Natalie noticed the bandages blended well enough that they
might not be noticed upon first glance.
     Nick knew that expression of hers.
     "I don't want you going in to work until they've healed. If you reopen
them…"
     "I know…" Natalie said. "I'll be careful."
     Nick knew she would take it easy.
     "How do I explain being out a week or so?"
     "Flu? Injury? Stomach bug? Days off for sanity preservation?"
     "I won't be able to look like I have the flu. Maybe the stomach bug.
What sort of injury?"
     "How about a sprained wrist or ankle?"
     "Ankle's out as is a knee injury. Anyone seeing me would expect
crutches. Besides that, it wouldn't prevent me from doing my job. A sprained
wrist would. And it would cover one of the bandages, and hopefully keep
anyone from seeing the other one. Especially if I say it's my writing hand."
     "Nat, what happened?" Nick asked as he cleaned up the used supplies,
bloody gauze pads and paper towels.
     "I'll tell you after I change, okay?"
     "Okay."
     She knew how hard this had been on him and wanted to make it a little
easier for him by getting out of her bloody shirt.
     Nick drained the blood bag in Natalie's medical bag.
     Natalie entered her bedroom and slipped out of shirt being careful not
to reopen the wounds and slipped into a clean shirt. This one had long
sleeves that came down onto her palms slightly. She had not worn it in a
while because the sleeves were too long for work and it was also a little
too
casual for work. The sleeves were pretty form fitting at the cuffs so she
hoped they wouldn't slide up and reveal the bandages. She wasn't ashamed as
she had done nothing wrong, but she knew people would get the wrong idea and
they wouldn't believe her explanation. She did not want everyone treating
her
like she was crazy or patronizing her, afraid she'd try it again.
     Natalie returned to the kitchen to fix herself something to eat. She
saw
Nick stuff the blood bag into the trash bag.
     "It's okay, Nick. I know how hard it was for you. Thank you for helping
me," she said from the heart.
     "You hungry?" He said as he saw her head for the fridge.
     "Yes."
     "How could I not help you? How many times have you helped me out?" He
said sincerely. "Go sit down on the couch and I'll fix you whatever you
want.
     "You don't have to."
     "I want you taking it easy. I don't want you lifting anything heavier
than a paperback."
     "Thank you." She knew he was right. The more she used her wrists the
more she stressed the sutures and the longer it would take to heal, not to
mention the risk of reopening the wounds. Besides with how crappy she'd been
feeling she'd have to be foolish to turn down freely offered pampering,
especially from him.
     She curled up on the couch, quickly realizing the sun was rising. She
rose and tightly shut all the blinds. She had just returned to the couch
when
Nick brought her a glass of orange juice.
     "Thanks." She knew she needed the sugar boost as she had lost at least
as much blood as one did during a donation.
     "You promised…" he said as he sat down beside her.
     "Okay. You know how I've been feeling run down lately?" She saw him
nod.
"Well, I came home, started to watch 'MacGyver' while I ate. Afterwards, I
must've fallen asleep because the next thing I remember was waking up in the
bath tub. Imagine my surprise when I looked down and saw the gashes." She
sipped her orange juice.
     "Did you…" Nick didn't know, but had to ask what he wanted to. He saw
her hurt look. "I believe you. That wasn't what I meant. I was going to ask
if you had eaten or drank anything from a new source?"
     "No. I went to the usual diner, got takeout like I do when I'm too
tired
to cook. Do you think anyone drugged me? Why would they?" Suddenly it came
to
mind, that case she was investigating. <Would they go that far?> She sipped
her orange juice.
     "It's possible. But I don't know why anyone would do that. You're not
working on anything that…" He couldn't find the right word.
     "Actually…" she hesitated to tell him about her suspicions. She
sipped
at her orange juice some more.
     "Nat…"
     She saw his expression and gave in. "Okay. It's just some suspicions at
this point," she said. "Remember the Croft case?"
     "Yes. I had a few suspicions myself," Nick said.
     Natalie finished her orange juice and he took the glass back to the
kitchen. "What would you like to eat?" He called out from the kitchen. He
checked around for any pill bottles and to his relief, found none.
     "I don't care." She was too tired and frustrated to be picky.
     Nick whipped up a sandwich using what he found in her fridge. He'd have
to ask her what she needed from the store. He knew she'd probably want to
accompany him, which was fine as long as she didn't over do it.
     "Here you go," Nick said as he handed her the sandwich, making sure she
didn't have to reach too far for it.
     "Thanks," Natalie said as she carefully reached for the plate, pleased
that it was within easy reach.
     Natalie started to wolf down the sandwich.
     "I'm going to go clean the bathroom."
     "I don't want you to do anything that…"
     "I can handle it," Nick said, cutting her off, knowing what she was
trying to say.
     Nick entered Nat's bedroom while she turned on the TV. He was grateful
for the noise as it would cover his actions. He hated snooping around but
wanted to make sure she was okay.   He carefully and thoroughly checked out
the bedroom and found no pill bottles. He was careful to leave no evidence
of
his search behind.
     He entered the bathroom, startled by the blood all over the tub, the
floor and the sink. The majority of it was inside the tub.
     Nick checked around and again found no pill bottles. He was relieved.
He
hadn't found the cleaning supplies.
     Nick approached the couch. Natalie looked up at him in surprise.
     "You can't be done."
     "I haven't started yet. I couldn't find…"
     She cut him off. "Check out the pantry closet."
     "Okay. Thanks."
     Nick located the pantry closet and opened the door. He was surprised
that he'd never been in that closet before and had not even known it was
there. He grabbed the mop, bucket, spray cleaner and a roll of paper towels.
He saw no pill containers in there either. He had not expected to but wanted
to be thorough.
     He quickly cleaned up the kitchen, then the floor heading into the
bedroom, seeing Natalie stretched out on the couch watching TV. He then
cleaned the blood off the bedroom doorknob, door, and the floor.
     Next, he cleaned the blood off the phone on her nightstand, and all
traces of it on the nightstand and floor leading to the bathroom.
     In the bathroom, Nick set the supplies down in a clean spot and leaned
the mop against the door frame.
     He found a particular spot in the tub, wet his finger, started towards
the spot, and hesitated. He knew it was an invasion of her privacy, but was
the best way to get at the truth as blood never lies. He wanted to sample
her
blood, yet, he feared it. Would it drive him to seek more? Would it make it
harder to be around her? After a minute's hesitation his desire to taste her
essence won. He ran his wet finger over the spot then rubbed it until his
fingertip was coated with her blood. He hesitated again as he brought the
blood coated fingertip to his mouth.
     He licked his fingertip, savoring the images that flashed across his
mind's eye. She tasted as wonderful as she smelled. He smiled at her joys
and
felt her sadness over the tragedies in her life. There were far too many of
them. Once again he was amazed at her inner strength.
     He was now sure she had not tried to kill herself. He noticed something
in her blood that should not be there. He focused on it, and brought the
subtle difference into focus.
     <She was right. She was drugged. Was it just this time?> He wondered
who, how and why. He had a hunch as to the who and why but the how eluded
him.
     He realized he had not yet started cleaning, and began cleaning at vamp
speed. Once he had it half cleaned he slowed down in case she entered.

to be continued...

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Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 5/21
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 15:25:11 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

Scars of the Heart pt 5

     A few minutes later Natalie entered the bathroom.
     "Umm… can you hold off a moment?"
     "Sure." He had sensed that she could not wait until he finished
cleaning.
     "Thanks."
     Nick stepped outside and closed the door behind him.
     Natalie carefully pushed up her sleeves, relieved herself and washed
her
hands. She tried to keep the bandages dry, but they got wet. She opened the
door and stepped out.
     "Natalie, I want to hunt down who hurt you."
     "Nick, don't. Promise me you won't."
     Nick reluctantly said, "I promise, I won't."
     "We need to do this the smart way. If you go after them, we tip our
hand. We need solid proof first. If not, they could kill both of us and make
it look like a double suicide or a murder suicide."
     "You're right," Nick says with a sigh.
     Nick reentered and finished cleaning. He cleaned the entire bathroom,
not just the bloody parts. He knew she'd appreciate it.
     When he passed through the living room he saw Nat watching TV. He put
away the cleaning supplies and threw away the paper towels, in the same bag
as the used medical supplies.
     Nick brought Natalie one of her Girahdeli dark chocolate bars. Her
smile
was his reward.
     "How about grabbing the Band-Aids? I accidentally got them wet washing
my hands."
     He handed her the candy bar then fetched two clean bandages.
     He carefully removed the right bandage and inspected his earlier work.
All the sutures were intact. The wound was still quite tender and stung when
exposed to the air. He allowed the skin a moment to dry while he opened the
sterile package. He pulled the plastic backing strips off and carefully
centered it over the sutured gash before settling it into place. He did the
same with the other wrist. It was just as tender as the right one had been,
and was stung by the air when exposed to it.
     "Thanks," Natalie said as she opened the candy wrapper and devoured the
dark chocolate confection.
     "How about a movie?" Nick asked.
     "Sure. There should be a new one by the VCR. I bought it a few days
ago."
     Nick headed for the VCR, found the movie, pleased to see it was a
comedy, unwrapped the box, pulled out the movie and stuck it into the VCR.
He
then rejoined Natalie on the couch.
     She leaned her head on his shoulder as she watched the movie. Both
laughed through most of the film.
     After the movie finished Natalie felt sleepy. Nick wasn't surprised.
She'd been through a lot in the last several hours.
     "I'll see you in a few hours," Natalie said as she headed for her
bedroom. She skipped brushing her teeth and ran a damp wash cloth over her
face as she didn't feel like washing it properly. She was impressed with how
clean he'd gotten the bathroom, even the tough stains.
     She carefully changed into her pajamas not wanting to re-injure
herself.
Afterwards she climbed into bed and was asleep almost instantly.
     Nick fell asleep and had pleasant dreams. Towards the early afternoon
the dreams turned into nightmares where he had been too late to save her
from
the suicide.
     The phone rang late the next afternoon. Natalie groggily lifted the
receiver.
     "Hello?"
     Moments later she hung up, not at all happy that it was someone trying
to sell her something. She rolled over and tried to get back to sleep and
failed.
     She slipped into her robe and opened her bedroom door. She was drawn to
the kitchen by the scent of fresh coffee.
     "Good afternoon," Nick said with a grin and she walked by half
conscious.
     Natalie was a little startled. "Good afternoon. Thanks for making
coffee."
     "You're welcome. Besides, I know what you're like until you've had your
first cup," he teased.
     She stuck her tongue out at him.
     "I'm going to grab a quick shower. You might want to call into work and
tell them you won't be in this week."
     Natalie headed for the kitchen. Nick followed her and poured her a cup
of coffee.
     "Thanks."
     He headed for the shower as she lifted the mug to her lips. She softly
blew on it before taking a sip.
     Since it was too hot, she set it back down and headed for the coat
closet. She opened the door and saw her medical bag on the floor. She opened
it and pulled out the narrower of the two elastic bandages. She tucked it
into the pocket of her fluffy pink robe, then shut both the bag and the
closet door.
     She headed for the couch and called into work, while deciding what
excuse to use.
     Her boss picked up the phone.
     "Teri, it's Natalie. I had a slight accident and won't be in this
week."
     "What happened? Are you okay?" Teri asked concerned.
     "I'm okay. I sprained my right wrist and have a few sore muscles. I
slipped on the wet bathroom floor."
     "Have you seen a doctor?"
     "Yes," Natalie lied, knowing Teri trusted her enough that she wouldn't
check to make sure Natalie was telling the truth.
     "You're right handed, right?"
     "Yeah."
     "I'll see you in a week, unless there's a major crisis," Teri said,
knowing Natalie wouldn't be able to perform any autopsies until her wrist
healed.
     "Thanks," Natalie said as she hung up.
     The doorbell rang.
     "Who's there?"
     "Grace."
     "Be right there," Natalie said trying to remain calm. She grabbed the
elastic bandage from her pocket and wrapped it around her right wrist and
palm as best she could with her left hand, wincing as the movement tugged at
the stitches and hurt. She fastened the elastic bandage in place, tugged
down
her sleeve, made sure the left bandage was concealed and headed for the
door.
     She unlocked it and let Grace in.
     Grace stepped inside to allow Natalie to shut the door.
     The two ladies embraced.
     "You okay?" Grace asked seeing her friend still in her robe.
     "I'm okay," Natalie said as she motioned to the couch. "Help yourself
to
a cup of coffee."
     "Thanks, I will," Grace said, as she noticed the elastic bandage. "What
happened?"
     "I slipped on the bathroom floor and sprained my wrist." She saw
Grace's
expression change. "Yes, I saw a doctor."
     "You're not going into work for the next several days are you?" Grace
asked in her stern motherly tone.
     "No. I took the next week off."
     "I'm glad. You'll heal faster and better this way," Grace said as they
entered the kitchen.
     "I know," Natalie said as she remembered to pick her coffee mug up with
her left hand.
     Grace removed a mug from the cabinet and filled it with coffee. They
both headed out to the couch.
     No sooner had they sat down when Nick came out in his robe. He'd
forgotten to bring up his clean clothes the night before so they were still
in his trunk.
     Grace spotted Nick out of the corner of her eye.
     Her eyebrows shot straight up. "Do I want to know if your accident had
anything to do with passion in the bathroom?" Grace loved watching Natalie
blush.
     "Nothing happened," Natalie said.
     "You're both in robes, he just got out of your shower and apparently he
has ONLY a robe on." Nat's cheeks turned even redder.
     "Grace, nothing happened," Nick said.
     She slipped, called me, and I took her to the ER then we came back here
and talked until she went into the bedroom, alone, to sleep."
     "Too bad. You two are perfect for each other. And there is more than
friendship between the two of you. It's in the way you look at each other,
the way you are around each other. You two ARE in love."
     "Grace, what brings you by?" Natalie asked, changing the subject.
     "We were supposed to have a girl's night out. Remember"
     "I'm sorry. I forgot. Give me a few minutes to get ready."
     "Nat, don't worry about it. Why don't I go get a few movies. Some
takeout and we'll stay in and have fun?"
     "Thanks," Natalie said.
     "Grace, could you run down to the Caddy and get my spare clothes out of
the trunk?" Nick asked.
     "Sure." She was curious to see what else he had in the trunk.
     Nick retrieved his keys from his pants pocket in the bedroom and handed
them to Grace.
     "I'll be right back," Grace said.
     As soon as Grace left, Nick spoke. "I'll leave you two alone and be
back
before sunrise. Take it easy."
     "I will. I don't want her to discover these."
     Natalie headed for the bedroom where she shut the door while dressing.
She slipped into the shirt she had worn the night before in hopes of keeping
the left bandage hidden.
     Grace returned and let herself back in. She handed Nick the overnight
bag with his clothes in them along with his keys.
     "Thanks, Grace."
     Natalie took a look at herself in the mirror, making sure her sleeves
were properly in place. The right one was pulled up just a little and the
left one was pulled down as far as possible. She was pleased that the left
cuff was still tight enough to stay put as long as she didn't do any extreme
reaching.
     Nick knocked on the bedroom door.
     "Come in," Natalie said.
     Nick saw Natalie holding her hairbrush.
     "Go relax on the couch and I'll be right out."
     Nat left her bedroom hairbrush in her left hand and headed for the
couch, while Nick shut the door and dressed.
     "Grace, mind some company picking out the movies and dinner?" Natalie
asked, needing to get out of the apartment for a short time.
     "If you're up to it."
     Nick came out of the bedroom, sat down next to Natalie, took the brush
and began to brush her hair.
     Grace watched the scene before her and any doubts evaporated. These two
were very much in love and hoped they'd admit it soon.
     Before long, Nick finished and handed Natalie back her brush. They had
been totally oblivious to Grace's presence.
     Grace hated to break the mood between her two friends but she was
beginning to feel like she was intruding.
     "Nat, would you rather do our night out another night?"
     "I have to go check out some things at the precinct," Nick said, not
wanting to interfere with Grace and Nat's night out.
     "I'm sorry. Grace, I really want tonight to go as planned, movies,
dinner
…"
     "Okay. You sure?"
     "I'm sure," Nat said with a genuine smile.
     "Grace, make sure she takes it easy. You know how she likes to pretend
she's fine."
     "I do. She will," Grace said giving Natalie her 'no nonsense' look. "If
she knows what's good for her."
     "Guys, I appreciate it all, but I'm here and capable of taking care of
myself."
     She saw the looks they gave her.
     "I'll take it easy. I promise. Besides… with the two of you, what
choice
do I have?"
     "Shall we go?" Grace asked.
     "Sure," Natalie said.
     Nick helped Nat on with her jacket. She was careful to subtly grip the
end of her left sleeve with her fingers so it wouldn't get pushed up by the
jacket sleeve. Next Nick helped Grace into her jacket.
     The three of them left together, Natalie locking her door a bit
awkwardly as she had to do it left handed. She worked to keep the pain off
her face as the movement pulled against the sutures.
     Nick opened the car door for Natalie and then walked around Grace's car
and opened the door for Grace as she reached it. He shut Grace's door then
went around and shut Nat's door. He headed on to his car.
     Grace helped Natalie fasten her seat belt. Nat could bring it over to
the fastener with a little pain, but could not get it into the place you
snap
it into. Grace fastened it for her.
     "That must've been one hell of a fall. Are you sure you're okay?"
     "Yeah. I'm just a bit sore all over."
     Grace knew she wouldn't get anymore out of Natalie so she let the
matter
drop.
     "What do you feel like tonight?"
     "Japanese okay?" Natalie asked, knowing it would be the easiest thing
to
eat.
     "Sure."
     "Before long they arrived at the video store. Grace released Natalie's
seat belt for her.
     "Need help with the door?"
     Natalie nodded, hating how such a simple thing was made difficult by
her
injuries. Grace got out of the car, shut her door and went around to
Natalie's door and opened it for her. She was wondering what Natalie was
hiding from her. Grace shut her car door and locked the car.
     They entered the store, Grace holding the door open for Natalie. They
searched the shelves and found a couple of movies both wanted to see. They
approached the check out desk and Grace pulled out her card and a few
dollars
to cover the fee.
     When they were finished they headed on to pick up dinner. While they
were enroute to their favorite Japanese restaurant, Natalie called in the
order, after Grace fished her phone out of her purse.
     They arrived and Grace went in to get their food. Before long she
returned with the bag and set it down near the videos, at Natalie's feet.
     Before long they entered Natalie's apartment. Grace helped Natalie out
of her coat, before removing her own. She hung both of them on the coat
rack.
Their purses were dropped onto the piece of furniture next to the door.
     "You set up the tape while I get the drinks," Grace said.
     Grace fixed them each a glass of soda and brought it over to the couch.
"Chopsticks, forks or fingers?" Grace asked.
     "Fingers," Natalie cheerfully said.
     The TV was on. "Which one first?" Nat asked.
     "Mel."
     "Good choice. Natalie opened the plastic tape case feeling a slight
twinge of pain and was glad her back was to Grace.
     Natalie stuck the tape into the VCR and joined Grace on the couch.
     She reached for her plate and accidentally bumped the left wrist into
the edge of the table. "Dammit!" Her sleeve pulled back just enough to show
a
tiny bit of the nearly flesh colored bandage.
     "Natalie, I thought you said you were okay other than your sprained
wrist. What happened?" Grace gently pulled back Natalie's sleeve, fully
exposing the bandage. "Stitches?" Natalie reluctantly nodded.
     Natalie knew she had to tell Grace something.
     "I didn't want to worry you."
     "I am worried. Why did you keep this from me?"
     "Because I knew you'd freak. I'm okay, Grace," Natalie said. "When I
fell I knocked a glass off the counter and I hit one of the pieces as I hit
the ground."
     "Will you be okay?"
     "I'll be fine. No tendons or muscles were injured. There was no serious
nerve damage."
     "How many stitches?"
     "Five." Nat was grateful that Grace accepted her story.
     "That sounds like a pretty nasty gash."
     "It was."
     Grace handed Natalie her plate, and saw Nat's gratitude on her face.
     Natalie started the movie.

to be continued...

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Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 6/21
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 15:34:35 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: darknn@yahoogroups.com, NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

You must see to be continued to have it all. Send comments to
DanaKnight@aol.com

     At the precinct, Nick and Schanke were heading out to conduct a couple
of interviews.
     In the car, Schanke can't contain his concern any longer. "I heard
about
Natalie's accident. Is she okay?"
     "She's okay. She'll be out a week. She sprained her right wrist and is
sore all over. Since that's the one she writes with…"
     "She's lucky she didn't hurt herself much worse."
     "I know," Nick said, not sure how much worse it could've been. He then
realized he could've found her on the border of having lost too much blood,
or found her near death, or worse dead. That last thought terrified him
beyond words.
     "I hear you're taking the next several days off?" Schanke said, a
slight
teasing tone in his voice.
     "Yeah. Nat will heal faster and better if she gets a little pampering.
Plus she could use it since we've all been rather busy lately."
     "You're right, as usual. She does deserve a little pampering,
especially
now." Schanke thought a moment. "How'd you find out she was hurt?"
     "She called me right afterwards."

     Nick returned to Natalie's apartment right before sunrise and handed
Natalie a note telling her to make light conversation while he scanned the
place for bugs. She was surprised but kept that reaction to herself. Nick
scanned her quickly then methodically went over the entire apartment and
found it clean. They were both relieved. They also knew he'd have to rescan
the place at least weekly to make sure things didn't change. He made a
mental
note to scan his place the first chance he got.

     That night Natalie's doorbell rang. Nick answered it as it still hurt
too much for Natalie to do so.
     Myra stepped into the apartment and Nick shut the door behind her.
     "Hi, Myra," Nick said pleased to see her.
     "Myra, hi," Natalie said.
     "Hi. I thought you might like a hot meal and I thought Nick might like
a
break," Myra said. "How are you?"
     "I'm doing better."
     "I'm glad. It looks like Nick's taking good care of you," Myra said.
     "He is," Natalie said with a grin.
     "I heard about your accident and am glad you're okay. Be careful next
time."
     "Thanks. I'll try to."
     Natalie didn't try as hard to hide the left bandage figuring everyone
knew about it by now.
     Myra noticed it. "How many stitches?"
     "Five."
     "Nick, is she being a good girl?"
     "Pretty good."
     "What did you bring? It smells good."
     "I thought you might like a lasagna. I figured it would be nutritious
and easy to eat."
     "Thanks. Sounds great. Care to join me?"
     "Sure." Myra headed for the kitchen where she served up two portions,
knowing Nick couldn't eat most foods.
     Myra returned to the living room and handed Natalie a plate and fork.
Before taking a seat next to her friend.
     "Nat, I need to go out for a while. If you or Myra need anything I have
my cell phone on."
     "We'll be fine," Myra said.
     Natalie ate her first bite. "This is delicious."
     "I'm glad you like it," Myra said.

     Nick headed out to check on a few things. He stopped by the precinct to
check in and see if there was anything crucial that needed his attention.
When there was nothing demanding his immediate attention he headed out,
after
giving a progress report on Nat's condition.
     Nick stopped by his loft to shower, change and dine properly. He
scanned
the loft and found no sign of electronic eavesdropping and was relieved. He
also packed a few new changes of clothes, and tucked a couple bottles of
blood into his bag.
     He knew the two ladies would enjoy some time alone for a little girl
talk. And knew it was good for Natalie.

     Nick returned to Natalie's apartment and let himself in. Natalie
spotted
the paper bag in his hand.
     "Chocolate?"
     "Yes. Dark chocolate and ice cream."
     "Sounds good. What kind of ice cream?"
     "Ghiradelli chocolate. Dark chocolate bars, chocolate chunk ice cream,"
Nick said. "Myra care to join Natalie in her chocolate pig out?"
     Natalie stuck her tongue out at Nick, which caused Myra to laugh. She
had no doubt that they were good friends, and maybe a little more. She was
pretty sure there was no romance, and they had not yet made love. They did
have deep feelings for each other though. Now she just had to convince her
husband of this, as he still believed they were romantically involved, but
wasn't sure if they'd made love. He did suspect they had, but wasn't
absolutely sure.
     "Sounds good, if Natalie is willing to share."
     "Of course, I'll share."
     Nick pulled the two quite large sundaes out of the bag along with one
of
the dark chocolate bars. He took the plastic lids off them and opened one of
the bars. He broke it in half and stuck half of it in the side of the ice
cream. He grabbed a couple of spoons from the drawer and headed for the two
women.
     He handed the sundaes to the ladies and took a seat on the nearby
chair.
"This was the largest sundae they made. I had the guy add a little extra hot
fudge."
     Nick saw the surprise on Myra's face as she took her sundae.
     "I don't think I can eat this much," Myra said.
     "I'm sure Nat will be happy to help you finish it," Nick teased.
     Nat's response was to stick her tongue out at him again. She had to
decide which hand to hold the rather large dish with, knowing it would be
heavy. She rearranged her position so she was sitting cross legged on the
couch. "How about setting it in my lap?" She said, having solved her
problem.
     Nick did as requested then took his seat in the nearest chair. He
watched Natalie as she surveyed the treat before her. She noticed the three
scoops of chocolate ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream, chocolate
sprinkles,
and a cherry on top. She reached for the cherry after sticking her spoon
into
a scoop, hoping it would stay put. She plucked the cherry with her slashed
wrist and carefully manipulated it into her mouth causing a minimum of pain,
and a minimum of stress on the stitches. She then removed the half bar and
savored it, a large smile on her face.

     Later that night when Nick and Natalie were alone, she told him to go
to
her lab and retrieve her notebook. She described it and where it was.
     He did what she asked him to do, and soon returned.
     "Why did you want this?" He asked.
     "Read it."
     Nick joined Natalie on the couch and quickly read through the notebook,
now understanding why she wanted it, and asked him to read it.
     "I see we share a lot of the same suspicions. I have a few more to add
to it, if you're interested."
     "I am." She headed over to the desk and grabbed a pen from the pencil
holder and returned to the couch.
     Nick started to tell her his new suspicions and quickly noticed that
she
wasn't writing as fast as usual. "Want me to write it for you?"
     "No. Just go a little slower."
     "You sure?"
     "I'm sure." Natalie finished the last note. There is a slight twinge
but
it's not too bad.
     About half an hour later they finish.
     "Sounds like you have some interesting suspicions of your own. Now all
we have to do is find a way to link them and find the proof to back it up,"
Natalie said.
     "And not tip our hand. Or endanger our friends."

     The next morning the two well dressed men were talking in the older
one's office.
     "Idiot. How could you mess up like that?" The older man asked the
younger one.
     "I didn't mess up. Yes, it didn't go according to plan, but it will
still work."
     "How?"
     The younger one told his boss how it would still work just fine and was
relieved when he saw a small, wicked grin on his boss's face.

     During the week Natalie took it easy. It seemed like one of her friends
dropped by at meal times or Nick had the food delivered and set up for her.
They also spent time with her during the day or night, whenever they could,
knowing she'd need help with stuff. And also because it gave them time to
talk about all those things they usually didn't have time to discuss. Nick
scanned the apartment once a day and found nothing. He had the latest, most
high tech detector made. One that only certain high level agencies had, and
that most people didn't even realize existed.
     Natalie examined the wounds every day as Nick changed the bandages, and
was pleased when there was no sign of infection. She wasn't happy that there
would be a quite noticeable scar, but it wasn't as bad as it would've been
if
she'd gone to the ER. If she'd gone to the ER, it would be almost as wide as
a pencil, but not quite. She wondered how she'd cover it up the second one
so
people wouldn't see them. A part of her didn't care, but a part of her did,
especially since she had not done it. She knew no one would believe her. Not
even Nick had, until he'd tasted her blood. She decided not to worry about
covering them until she needed to.
     Natalie caught up on movies she wanted to see both in the theatre and
on
videotape, books she wanted to read, and her medical journals. She also
managed to get more than a full night's sleep most days as her friends tried
not to come too early and accidentally wake her.
     She and her friends went out when they wanted to. She was careful not
to
accidentally reopen the wounds, not wanting to have to explain the one
hidden
under the elastic bandage.

     Natalie had to call her boss and get another week off, telling her boss
that her wrist still hurt and she wasn't ready to come back, but would if
Terri really needed her. Terri knew that Natalie tended to push herself too
hard, and often came back too soon after being either sick or hurt and
sometimes had relapses. She didn't want that this time so she gave Natalie
the week off. She knew that if Natalie wanted more time off she must be in
more pain then she let on. She also knew that Natalie wouldn't be as eager
to
do some of the heavy lifting she needed to do if her wrist still hurt, and
would probably put off some of the paperwork as well. Those were enough
reasons to justify the extra time off. She also knew Natalie had more than
enough sick leave to cover it.

     Ten days had passed since Natalie's injury. Nick had taken to sleeping
there as often as he could. He knew she felt safer with him there watching
over her, and he slept better knowing he'd instantly know if anything was
wrong.
     That morning, Natalie woke, showered and dressed. Once dressed she took
her hairbrush and two fresh bandages out to Nick. The elastic bandage lived
on the coffee table so she had it when she needed it. She sat on the couch
next to Nick. He took the hairbrush from her and proceeded to brush her hair
like he'd done just about every morning since her injury. They both enjoyed
the closeness. After he was done, he set the brush on the coffee table and
carefully removed the bandages from her wrists.
     They both studied the sutured wounds and noticed that they looked
healed.
     "I think it's time for the stitches to come out. What do you think?" He
asked.
     "I think you're right."
     Natalie headed for her medical bag and quickly returned with a pair of
scissors to remove the sutures with. She handed them to Nick and held her
wrists out to him. He carefully cut the sutures on the right wrist and
removed them. Then he repeated the actions with the left one. They both
examined the newly healed wounds again, noticing that the scar was a bit on
the red side, knowing that would fade with time.
     "I don't want you going back to work, or stressing your wrists for a
couple more days. Let them finish healing properly," Nick said.
     "I have four days left, then I have to get back to work. If I keep
asking for more time off, Terri's going to get suspicious and make me
explain
why. I'm not ready to do that. She'll want to see the medical records for
herself."
     "Okay. Four days should be enough time, but when you go back, I want
you
staying away from bodily fluids, organs, and such stuff for a few days
afterwards, if possible. Okay?"
     "Okay." She knew he was right. It might not be easy, but she'd do her
best to do as asked.
     Nick scanned her apartment and was relieved when it came up clean.
     "Are you checking yours too?" She asked.
     "Yes. Daily."
     He could see her fear, even though she tried to hide it and was mostly
successful. He knew her well enough to see through her defenses. She saw the
concern in his eyes. She too, knew him well enough to see past his facade.

     During the next four days Natalie did a little more for herself each
day. Nick let her, keeping a close eye on her so she didn't push it too far,
too fast.

     Natalie and Nick both knew that she had to go back to work tonight.
They
were up, dressed and ready to go on time.
     "Nick, how am I going to cover them? Especially the right one?"
     "Have you tried makeup? A bracelet? A single wrap of an elastic
bandage?" Nick asked.
     "A bracelet won't work during autopsies. I might be able to get away
with the bandage for a day or two by explaining that it's a reminder to not
overdo it, but it might raise more questions than it would answer. I don't
know how long the makeup would last, or if it would all rub off on my
clothes. I guess it couldn't hurt to try. But, I think I want to give the
wounds a day or two more to heal before I try it. We'll make a pit stop on
the way to work and pick up the bandage."

     Natalie entered her office in the Coroner's Office and took off her
coat, hanging it up on the coat rack. Grace entered and saw Natalie, and
that
her mood was pretty good. She knew that if Nick and Natalie had fought about
her return to work she wouldn't be in a good mood.
     "Welcome back."
     "Thanks."
     "How are your wrists?"
     "They're okay," Natalie said.
     "What's with the bandage?"
     "It's to remind me not to overdo it for the next couple days. You know
how it is at the very end, you can overdo it real easily if you're not
careful because it feels fine, until…"
     "I know. I think you're doing it the smart way."
     "I'm glad to hear you're fine. And welcome back," Terri said, having
entered a moment ago.
     "Thanks. I'm glad to be back."
     "Is there anything you can't do?"
     "Not really. I have to be careful lifting heavy stuff for another
couple
days, but that's all."
     "Okay, then I won't stop you from getting on with your work."
     "Thanks."
     Terri knew that Grace would keep an eye on Natalie.
     Natalie started on her paperwork, knowing that she couldn't really hurt
herself there, outside of a nasty paper cut. Before long, a body came in.
     "How about giving me a hand moving the body?" Natalie asked.
     "No problem. Feeling better?"
     "Yeah. Thanks."
     The orderly and Grace moved the body for Natalie.
     "Thanks," Natalie said.
     "No problem. We've all been hurt and needed a hand."
     The orderly left, taking the gurney with him.
     "Natalie, will you need any help with the autopsy?" Grace asked.
     "I'll be okay."
     "If you need help, call me."
     "I will."
     Natalie changed into her scrubs and gown and had Grace help tie the
back
of her gown. Natalie gloved up, stretching the glove over the elastic
bandage. She completed the external examination and found nothing unusual
and
not that much that was helpful either. There was very little trace evidence.
Natalie picked up the scalpel and made the first cut into the victim to
begin
the internal examination. She winced just a little. She examined the insides
of the body, relieved she didn't have to remove all the organs. She wasn't
sure her wrists were up to sawing open the rib cage or the skull.
     After the autopsy, she did the paperwork, both relieved and a little
disappointed that there was nothing unusual about the case. That it was a
straight forward homicide. Once she went as far as she could with the
paperwork, she turned to her own investigation.

to be continued...

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Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 7/21
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 15:35:05 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: darknn@yahoogroups.com, NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

Scars of the Heart pt 7

     Later in her shift, she had to drop some reports off at the precinct.
Nick smiled as she entered. Schanke saw Natalie as she approached their
desks.
     "Welcome back. How's the wrists?"
     "Better. Thanks. It's good to be back."
     "Take it easy, okay?"
     "I am."
     "Is that a reminder?"
     "Yeah. It's too easy to forget until it's too late."
     "I know. I did that once, when I was younger. It wound up taking twice
as long to heal," Schanke said.
     "That's one of the reasons I have trouble with my knee. When you're one
of the very few women in your med school class, you can't afford to take
long
periods of time off if you want to keep up with your studies."
     "How did you hurt your knee?"
     "Car crash. I was back doing rounds two days after I was released from
the hospital. I was still on crutches, but had no choice. I didn't have the
time to let it heal naturally. I had to get off the crutches as soon as I
could, even if my knee wasn't quite ready for it. I had to pretend all was
well when often I went home after a thirty to thirty six hour shift, wrapped
it in ice, downed aspirin and cried. Most days I was back on duty within six
hours, sometimes as little as four hours. Sometimes it was all I could do
not
to limp or cry out in pain."
     "I totally understand. I played football in high school. Our coach
considered anything short of a bone sticking through the skin to be wimping
out. I've played with an ankle that was badly sprained, and like you I went
home, took painkillers, iced it and cried. I couldn't admit how badly it was
hurt. Sports and winning were everything in our school. I hated it, but I
was
hoping for a college scholarship so I had to play. Another time I played
with
a wrist that was so badly sprained that I couldn't even pick up a pencil
without wanting to scream out in pain. And try getting tackled when you have
a couple of cracked ribs."
     "You should not have been playing with cracked ribs. You could've
punctured a lung if one had broken," Natalie said.
     "I know that now. I got kicked off the team when I broke my leg during
a
game and couldn't continue to play. A part of me was greatly relieved by the
injury and part of me wished I could still play for the chance at a
scholarship. I didn't have to rush back to anything until my leg had fully
healed. It was nice to have that choice," Schanke said.
     "I too had an injury I had to fight my way through. It was before I
joined the police department. I had been stabbed and had to fight for my
life
with the blade still in my shoulder. It had to be at least six inches long
and was wider than usual. I was out in a very rural area where you couldn't
see the next house. There were probably fifteen miles between them. The
hospital wasn't much more than a clinic and the doctor yanked the knife out,
then sewed it up without the benefit of painkillers." Nick saw both his
friends wince. "He didn't believe in them for anything short of major
surgery. I was attacked again before I had fully healed and it hurt to fight
back. I'm not sure which hurt more, fighting with the blade still in my
shoulder or fighting before it had fully healed," Nick said. "I thought I
was
going to die as he yanked the knife out."
     "He just yanked it out?" Schanke asked unable to believe it.
     "Yes. He put his foot against my shoulder near the knife, grabbed hold
of it and yanked." Nick saw his friends wince at the thought of it.
     Natalie's beeper went off and moments later Cohen came out of her
office, approached them, and told Nick and Schanke that there was a
homicide.
Natalie pulled Nick aside a moment.
     "When was that story?"
     "A few months before…" Nick's expression tell Natalie that it was
before
he was brought across.

     Nick and Natalie worked together on their research, being careful to
keep it top secret, not wanting to endanger their friends. They had decided
the first thing to try and figure out was the very basics - who and why.
Natalie knew that she couldn't stop buying food from all of her favorite
places, partly because she liked those places and partly because it would
alert those who tried to kill her, and who drugged her.
     She did feel a little better but was still tired. She thought of giving
herself a drug test but figured they wouldn't be stupid enough to make it
something that easy to find.
     Grace and Schanke noticed that Natalie seemed to be pretty much back to
her old self.

     The next three weeks were very busy for both the police and Coroner's
Office. They had to deal with OD's, suicides, gunshot victims, stabbings, a
hit and run, and a strangling. Nick and Natalie were so busy they didn't
have
time to work on their own investigation.

     As soon as their caseload lightened up a bit, Nick and Natalie were
back
on their own investigation. They reread her notes to refresh their memories.
Natalie worked on the forensic end while Nick worked on the legal end. They
seemed to have hit a roadblock as they followed their few slim leads to
nowhere. The dead guys from the same companies seemed to be completely
unrelated to each other. They had none of the same friends, didn't hang out
at the same places, didn't have the same at work connections, and didn't
know
each other.

     The younger well dressed man briefed his boss. He told him he believed
the problem had been taken care of. The older well dressed man was pleased,
yet still a little concerned.   He told the younger man to keep an eye on it
anyway. The younger man didn't see why he should, but was not about to
question his boss. He told his boss he would.

     About a week later, Natalie was called to a crime scene on Nick's night
off. Cohen made Nick take the night off. Nick hadn't argued as he figured
Natalie was reasonably safe at work. Neither he nor Nat thought they'd try
again.
     The victim was a female about thirty-five with fiery red hair. She had
been brutally beaten. Natalie's preliminary cause of death was a crushing
blow to the skull, one that didn't instantly kill, but the victim bled to
death from the beatings. Natalie wasn't sure if the victim had been
conscious
or not.
     Natalie beat the body back to her lab. She grabbed a candy bar from the
machine to keep her stomach from growling during the autopsy. She promised
herself she'd get a proper meal after she finished.
     Natalie was in her scrubs and gown by the time the body arrived. She
helped the orderly move the body to the autopsy table. Natalie first did the
external examination, documenting all the wounds and bruises from the
beating. She found an unusual mark in the middle of the victim's back and
carefully documented it, taking photographs as well as making careful notes
about it. Something was tickling the back of her mind that she'd seen that
mark before, but not recently. X-rays were taken showing numerous fractures.
Her skull had been fractured twice, she had four broken ribs, one of which
had nicked her lung. She had a broken ulna and radius, and from the way her
arm was broken, it had been twisted until it broke. Natalie shuddered. She
started the internal examination of the woman's body by making the standard
Y
incision. During her internal examination she discovered the woman was ten
weeks pregnant. A part of Natalie wondered if the woman knew and another
part
of her wondered if that was what caused her death.
     Natalie took a second look at some of the injuries and realized that
some were in that area. It almost seemed as if the attacker was trying to
kill the fetus. This led Natalie to realize that the woman most likely knew
she was pregnant. She wondered who had killed the victim, was it the father,
the one who learned he wasn't the father, a stranger or something she didn't
yet know. Natalie wondered if it was somehow related to the investigation
she
and Nick and were doing.
     Natalie did as much of her paperwork as she could without the results
of
tests currently underway. She then went to find Grace and see if she was
ready for lunch. Since both women were starving, they headed out. Natalie
and
Grace went to their favorite place.
     The rest of the shift was taken up with a mid thirties male found dead
in his car from an apparent OD. After the toxicology report came back, it
was
doubtful the guy could've made it down the street with that much speed in
him, let alone halfway across the city.
     Nick and Schanke's work on the pregnant woman's case brought up
suspicions of who might've done it, but nothing solid enough to pursue.
     Natalie had a little better luck but still not enough to bring anyone
in. She added her suspicions to her notebook and reread her notes hoping
that
maybe something would trigger another lead. That little voice in the back of
her mind told her there was a connection but wasn't sure what it was, just
yet.
     Natalie's office was searched again while she wasn't there. The
computer's information was again downloaded onto an optical drive. The files
were searched and Natalie's notebook of suspicions was read through.

     Schanke and Grace noticed that Natalie seemed tired, and slightly not
quite herself. It was pretty subtle, unlike the last time. They figured it
was the heavy caseload and the brutality of the recent crimes. Nick noticed
it as well, but figured it was probably the same things as his friends did.
     There were a few slow days for which everyone was grateful as it gave
the
m a chance to relax and catch their breath. Natalie tried to catch up on her
sleep. She and Nick worked on their investigation but were frustrated by the
lack of leads. They had a bunch of clues but nothing seemed to connect.
     Nick, Natalie, Schanke and Grace finished a difficult case where they
managed to get a child molesting coach off the streets. He had killed the
six
year old boy and molested five other children. The case had sickened them
due
to it's horrific nature.
     Natalie, Nick and Schanke went out to dinner one night during their
shift to celebrate the arrest of a major scumbag. It was a drug dealer
working around a local park selling to adults or children, trying to get
minors to sell for him. There had been two OD's from the drugs they traced
back to the dealer. They felt good for getting the dealer off the street,
even if they knew there were others waiting to take his place. They
concentrated on the one they had removed from selling any more poison.

     The next week started out average but by the end of it, they'd grown
quite busy at both the precinct and the Coroner's Office. Everyone was
looking forward to their day off, hoping that they did indeed get the day
off.

     On their night off, Grace arrived at Natalie's apartment for their
girl's night out and rang the doorbell.
     When there was no response she knocked. "Natalie? You there?" She knew
her friend was somewhere in the building as her car was in her assigned
parking spot.
     She rang the bell again. When there was no response she again knocked.
<
Maybe she's in the laundry room.>
     "Natalie?"
     When there was still no response Grace dug out her keys and found the
one for her friend's apartment. She wanted to make sure nothing was wrong.
     Grace unlocked the door and entered, shutting it behind her. She knew
Natalie was home when she saw her purse, today's mail and her keys on the
furniture piece by the door. She knew Natalie wouldn't have left her
apartment without her keys.
     "Natalie? You here?" Grace called out, not wanting to startle her
friend, if she should suddenly pop out of the bedroom.
     Grace peeked into the living room, the dining room, the kitchen and
found no sign of her friend. She headed for the bedroom. She knocked on the
door before she entered.
     She noticed the bed had not been slept in and grew concerned. She
turned
and took a few steps across the room.
     "Oh my God! Natalie!" Grace exclaimed, shocked by the sight before her.

to be continued...

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Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 8/
Date: Sun, 16 Feb 2003 23:17:02 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: darknn@yahoogroups.com, NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

Scars of the Heart pt 8

     Grace couldn't believe her eyes. Natalie was stretched out in the bath
tub both wrists bleeding heavily from the gash across each wrist. Grace felt
for a pulse on Natalie's neck, terrified she might not find one, and was
greatly relieved to feel a steady pulse. It was only then that she saw the
scalpel in Natalie's lap. Grace carefully removed it and set it on the
countertop, out of harm's way.
     Grace rushed into the bedroom, picked up the phone on Natalie's
nightstand and dialed 911.
     "I need an ambulance. My friend is bleeding heavily," Grace said,
knowing that the address would automatically be picked up by the computer at
the 911 center. "It's apartment 42 and the door is unlocked. I need to go
try
to stop the bleeding and the phone cord won't reach that far."
     The 911 operator let her go, knowing that stopping the bleeding was the
most important thing she could do until help arrived.
     Grace reentered the bathroom, grabbed two hand towels, left them folded
as they were and grabbed hold of Natalie's two wounds, using the towels to
apply pressure. When there was no response from Natalie she grew even more
worried.
     "Natalie, honey, why didn't you talk to me? Nick, Schanke, Myra,
anyone?
You seemed okay earlier, what happened?" Grace knew that just because
someone
seemed okay didn't mean they were.
     About five minutes later the paramedics entered Natalie's apartment,
startling Grace.
     "We're in the bathroom."
     About a minute later the paramedics were outside the bathroom.
     "We'll take over now," said one of the paramedics as he entered. Every
time he responded to a call like this he wondered what had driven the person
to such desperation. From the concern on the other woman's face, it was
obvious that the victim wasn't alone, that she did have people who cared
about her.
     The paramedic knelt down and took Natalie's vitals. They were stable,
but he knew how quickly things could change.
     He peeled back the towels and saw that the bleeding was slowed down by
the pressure. He ripped open a couple of gauze bandages and taped them
securely over the wounds.
     "Have you tried to talk to her? What's her name?"
     "I have. No response. Natalie." Grace realized she should probably give
her friend's full name. "Natalie Lambert."
     "Natalie, can you hear me?" The paramedic asked as his partner entered
the bathroom. His concern grew at the lack of response.
     Together they lifted their patient out of the bath tub and carried her
to the stretcher in the bedroom. The paramedic slipped an oxygen mask over
her face as the other one strapped her in.
     "Do you know if she's on any medications, or allergic to any?" He asked
as he started an IV to get some fluids into her.
     "I don't think she's taking anything or is allergic to any
medications?"
     "Is there anyone that needs to be called?" He asked as he closed up his
emergency kit.
     "Yes. Can I ride with her?"
     "Okay."
     Grace pulled her cell phone out of her purse and dialed the precinct.
She knew Nick had to work tonight. She totally missed the envelope on the
dresser.
     "Knight."
     "They're taking Natalie to Toronto General. I'll explain when I get
there," Grace said as she hung up.
     She locked Natalie's front door after the paramedics had passed
through,
and followed them into the elevator.
     Before long the paramedics had loaded Natalie onto the ambulance and
the
driver gave Grace a hand into the ambulance before shutting the back doors.

     Meanwhile back at the precinct, Schanke looked up, and saw his
partner's
face go even paler, something he had not thought possible.
     Nick hung up the phone, totally oblivious to everything and everyone.
     "Bad news?" Schanke asked, not too surprised when he received no
response. "Earth to Nick…"
     Nick snapped out of his trance. "What?"
     "Bad news?"
     "Yes. That was Grace. Grab your coat."
     "Nat okay?" Schanke asked quite worried.
     "I don't know."
     Nick and Schanke grabbed their coats and were on their way out.
     In the car, Schanke asked, "Toronto General?"
     "Yes."

     Since Nick broke every known speed law he made it to the hospital right
after the ambulance.
     Nick picked the first spot he found, caring more about Natalie than his
prized car at this point. He and Schanke bolted for the emergency entrance.
     They entered as Natalie was being whisked by. Neither could believe
what
they saw.
     "It can't be…" Schanke said, stunned, "she's not the type." He
couldn't
believe his friend had just tried to take her own life. "Besides, aren't
doctors supposed to OD or something?"
     "You're right, she's not the type. And, yes, they generally do OD,"
Nick
said.
     Grace entered, and walked over to the two men. She saw their pain and
confusion, and was surprised to see a little anger in Nick's eyes.
     "What happened?" Nick asked.
     "We were supposed to have a girl's night out. Nat never forgets. I
stopped by to see if she wanted a ride. I knew she was home because her car
was in it's spot. After ringing the bell and knocking a couple times I
entered to make sure everything was okay. When I saw her purse and keys on
that piece I knew she was in there. I called out to her, but still no
response. I started looking around and found nothing… until I reached the
bathroom. She was in the tub. She'd used a scalpel to slit her wrists. I
checked her pulse, fearing the worst. She's alive, but was unconscious, and
still is."
     "I still can't believe it. She'd never do it. She thinks it's the easy
way out," Schanke said.
     "I know," Grace said in consolation. "Do either of you have any
idea…"
     Both men shook their heads. Nick knew he couldn't say anything without
endangering Schanke and Grace's lives.
     About twenty-five minutes later the doctor came out and headed for the
threesome in the waiting room.
     "I'm looking for someone here for Natalie Lambert."
     "That's us," Nick said.
     "She should be fine, provided she gets counseling. We found
Phenobarbital in her system." He noticed the surprised looks on their faces.
"She's being moved to her room. You can see her there shortly." He started
to
leave but decided to ask the one question he'd been hesitant to ask. "Does
anyone know that this wasn't her first attempt? From the scars we found on
both wrists she had the same injury about five weeks ago, yet we have no
record of it."
     Grace was shocked, then it hit her. "Nick, isn't that when she said she
fell and sprained one wrist, and cut the other on broken glass when she
fell?"
     "It is."
     "You took her to the ER then. Did you know?"
     Nick didn't know how to respond to the question. "Umm…I saw the
wounds.
She asked me not to tell anyone. That she was okay, that it was an accident.
That if people saw them, they'd get the wrong idea."
     "Make sure she gets counseling. I have to go check on a few other
patients. I'll check in on your friend shortly." The doctor headed back into
the emergency room treatment area.
     "Nick, you know how hard it is for her to admit something's wrong. She
needs help," Grace said.
     "What's Phenobarbital?" Schanke asked.
     "It's used for seizure disorders."
     "Nat doesn't have one," Schanke said. "Does she?"
     "No." Nick said.

     Nick approached the information desk.
     "I need the room number of Natalie Lambert," he said in his most
charming voice.
     "Room 1013."
     "Thank you."

     Nick returned to his friends and together they headed for the elevator.
Before long they arrived at the tenth floor and checked the signs to see
which way to go.
     Before long Nick quietly pushed open Natalie's door. He saw her eyes
closed and wasn't sure if they should bother her, but knew his friends
wanted
to see for themselves that she was okay.
     The three of them entered the room. They were surprised, yet not
totally
surprised to see restraints on both Natalie's wrists. It hurt to see their
friend restrained like that, and in such emotional pain.
     Natalie woke, startled to see her three friends staring down at her.
She
tried to reach out to Nick and was startled to discover the restraints.
     "What happened?" She asked, her fear growing.
     "That's what we'd like to know," Grace said.
     "I fell asleep on my couch and the next thing I know I'm here."
     "Natalie, your wrists don't get slashed by sleeping on the couch,"
Grace
said a bit sterner.
     "Grace, how hard is it to hold onto a wet slippery scalpel? Especially
if your hands are wet?"
     "Quite hard. What does that have to do… Oh. But it can still be
done."
     "Have you been taking drugs?"
     "No. And no, I didn't try to kill myself."
     "Natalie, the accident wasn't really a fall was it? I might've believed
that had there been one scar," Grace said.
     "Guys, can I have a moment alone with her?"
     "Sure," Schanke said.
     Grace nodded. They saw how Natalie was growing more disturbed with the
passing time, and knew it was time to leave.
     "We're glad you're going to be okay," Schanke said.
     "Don't ever scare me like that again!" Grace admonished.
     "You were the one who found me?" Natalie asked curious and concerned.
     "Yes."
     "Thank you," Natalie said, sincerely.
     "We'll see you later," Schanke said.
     He and Grace left.
     "Nick… They did it to me again!" Natalie cried scared. "Can you
please
undo these?"
     Nick could tell the restraints terrified her more than the actual
injuries. "I can't, but I'll talk to the doctor and see what I can do.
Okay?"
     Natalie nodded. Nick gently stroked her hair, and kissed her forehead.
     "Why did they ask me about drugs?" Natalie asked totally confused, but
with a hunch she didn't want to know the answer.
     "They found Phenobarbital in your bloodstream. Schanke didn't know what
it was and asked about it. After I told him what it's used for, he asked if
you had a seizure disorder, pretty sure you didn't. I told him you didn't."
     "Take a sample, please. I want to know if you can see something I
can't."

     Nick reluctantly let his fangs drop and nipped the tip of her pinky
finger. She flinched as the fang pierced her skin. He took a sip then licked
the wound to close it, not wanting the staff to think she'd tried to hurt
herself again. He searched the blood for any clue to who did this to her but
there was nothing. It did reassure him that he was right, that she was again
the victim of a frame up.
     "Why is someone out to get me?" Natalie asked, scared.
     "I don't know. But I promise you, I will find out!"
     "Don't kill them. I want to face them."
     "Okay."
     "Will you stay with me for a while? Talk with me?"
     "Sure." He knew he'd be terrified if he was in her place. "Why don't we
start with what happened."
     "I fell asleep, just like last time, and when I woke up I was here."
Natalie shuddered. "If Grace hadn't found me…"
     "I don't think they want you dead. There are too many other ways they
could've done it if that was their goal. They could've given you an OD as
well, or instead. They could've made the gashes worse."
     "I know." She sighed.
     "Did you bring in take out?"
     "Yes. Same place I've been going to for the last three weeks."
     "Have their been any workmen in your apartment, or in the building?"
     "I haven't seen anyone in the building. I know I haven't had any work
done around the place. Do you think someone got in?"
     "It's possible, but I don't think so."
     "What did my blood tell you?"
     "Nothing. Which means that you were unconscious when they slit your
wrists."
     "I want to go home," Natalie said.
     "I'm sorry but we're required to hold you for a seventy-two hour
evaluation period," the doctor said as he entered.
     "Can you take these off?" Natalie asked, hopeful.
     "Maybe in a little while. First you need to talk with our counselor."
     "They're hurting my wrists."
     The doctor checked the restraints and noticed they were a little tight
so he loosened them a notch, at the same time doing a quick check to see if
any of the sutures had been torn loose, and found the bandage unstained by
blood. "Sorry about that."
     "Thank you. That's much better."
     "Care to tell me what happened?"
     Natalie wanted to give him a sarcastic answer but knew it was probably
not in her best interest to do so. "I don't know. I fell asleep on the couch
and woke up here."
     The doctor sensed she was telling the truth, but it just didn't work
with the known factors.
     "I'll have the counselor come down and talk to you. Then we'll see
about
the restraints. They're for your own protection."
     Natalie sighed. She knew he was right.
     "Nat, I'll see you later. There are a few things I have to do," Nick
said as he kissed her on the cheek. He gently caressed her face before
turning and leaving the room.
     The doctor wondered how his patient wound up here with that many caring
friends. He knew that sometimes friends only made the situation seem worse.

to be continued...

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Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 9/
Date: Sun, 16 Feb 2003 23:17:23 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: darknn@yahoogroups.com, NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

You must see to be continued at the bottom to have it all. Send comments to
DanaKnight@aol.com.

     Nick headed straight for the treatment area.
     "Sir, you're not allowed back here."
     Nick pulled his badge. "I need Natalie Lambert's clothes and personal
belongings."
     "You'll have to sign for them," a nurse said. She'd dealt with enough
cops to know that asking questions rarely resulted in answers.
     The nurse quickly retrieved the plastic bag they'd put the patient's
belongings into.
     "Her clothes are ruined from the blood, but we thought you might need
them."
     "We do."
     Nick signed the release form and left with her clothes. He headed for
her apartment, making a phone call along the way.
     One of the top forensics people met him at the entrance to Natalie's
apartment building.
     "Peter, thank you for coming on your day off."
     "Your request had me quite curious. What is it you want me to do?"
     "I need you to check for fingerprints, and any other forensic evidence
you can find. And I want the information to be delivered ONLY to me.
Understand?"
     "Yes," the guy said. He knew Nick's reputation, and that he often
returned the favor with a pair of super tickets to whatever sport or music
you were into. Also that Nick was one of the few cops who knew the forensics
guys names, and that he didn't treat them like science geeks. The tickets
were merely a show of appreciation, nothing more.
     Peter grabbed his bag and followed Nick upstairs to Natalie's
apartment,
totally unaware of where he was going. Nick unlocked the door and let him
in,
turning on lights as necessary.
     "Is this someone you know?" Peter asked.
     "Yes. It's someone we both know," Nick said, knowing Peter would see
one
of the pictures soon enough and realize who's apartment he was dusting.
     Peter started with the door knob, knowing it would most likely be too
contaminated to do much good.
     "It will take forever to do this whole apartment. Anywhere you want me
to concentrate my efforts?"
     Nick realized Peter was right. "The closet door over there, and the
medical bag. I also want the couch examined the tables and floor around the
area, and the path from the front door to the bathroom. As well as the
bathroom. And anything else you think necessary."
     "That does narrow it down a bit. If you're going to stay here, stay out
of those areas."
     "Okay. I'll be in the kitchen."
     "When I get everything back to the lab what am I to eliminate?"
     "Anything relating to myself, Don Schanke, Grace Balthazar and
Schanke's
wife Myra."
     "Okay. That will help me finish this sometime before the end of the
century," the guy said a little lighthearted. "Who's apartment is this?"
     "Natalie Lambert's."
     Peter looked stunned. "Is she okay? Is she in trouble?"
     "She'll be okay. That's what I'm hoping you can tell me."
     Peter vowed to himself to do an extra thorough job as Natalie had
always
been nice to him, even when he'd made stupid rookie mistakes she took the
time to explain what he'd done wrong and showed him what to do next time.
     Nick hoped he could sneak in a quick meal without being caught. He was
hungry and the scent of Natalie's blood wasn't helping matters.
     Nick ducked into the kitchen and grabbed his mug, then opened the
fridge
door, glad it would block any side view into there and helped himself to a
healthy portion of blood from the expired blood orange juice container. The
date was far enough past that neither of them believed anyone would drink
it.
They thought the natural name and nature of the juice would help disguise
the
true contents.
     He quickly downed the entire mug, careful not to dribble any onto his
clothes. He carefully checked his face in the toaster's reflection before
washing out the mug and returning it to it's proper place. He then sat down
at the kitchen table and laid his head on his hands. He was tired.
     Peter moved from area to area as he finished the previous one. He made
sure he had all the possible evidence available. He also tried not to make a
big mess, knowing that someone would have to clean it up.

     Meanwhile at the hospital, A woman entered Natalie's room. Natalie
looked at her, taking her attention from the television set.
     "Hello. I'm Amanda Black."
     "Hello. I'm Natalie Lambert. You're the one I'm supposed to talk to
right? And you'll take these off?"
     "Yes, and most likely." Amanda was pleased to see things starting off
pretty well. Her patient seemed rational and didn't seem a danger to
herself,
but the interview would give her a much better indication of her patient's
true state.
     "You probably won't believe me, but I'll tell you the truth," Natalie
said simply.
     "Why don't you just tell me something about yourself first, then we'll
get into why you're here. Okay?"
     Natalie nodded. "I don't really know where to start. I love my work and
enjoy being with my friends. Life's not bad. My friends call me a
workaholic,
but I'm not. I just have a demanding job. I can't leave at the end of a
shift
if I'm in the middle of someone." Natalie noticed Amanda's expression and
continued. "I'm a forensic pathologist. Sometimes a body will come in near
the end of my shift so I have to stay late and do the autopsy and required
paperwork. Or if I was the crime scene investigator then I have to follow
the
case until after I've testified in court or given a deposition if there is
not going to be a trial."
     "Interesting choice of occupation."
     "I suppose you want to know why someone like me would pick such a
career." She saw the therapist nod. "I don't know. Why did you pick your
career? Why did my doctor and nurses pick theirs?" Natalie sensed that the
therapist believed she was avoiding the question. "I wasn't avoiding
answering. I guess when I wound up doing a forensics rotation it caught my
attention. There are no easy answers in my job. I can't just match the
symptoms with the answers in a book. I have to treat each case like a puzzle
and fit the pieces together until I come up with a complete picture, or as
complete as possible. I love the challenge."
     "How's your social life?"
     "It's good. I go out with friends, get along well with my coworkers."
     "Are you seeing anyone in the dating, romantic sense?"
     "Not really."
     The therapist saw the brief flash of something in her patient's eyes
and
wasn't sure what it meant.
     "Would you like to be?"
     "What woman wouldn't like a nice romantic guy in their life? I'm happy
with my life." Natalie looked up at the therapist hopeful, and moved a bound
wrist slightly.
     "Okay. I'll remove them." Amanda didn't sense anything seriously wrong
with her patient and knew that she might open up even more if she wasn't
restrained. She unbuckled the restraints and let them hang down towards the
floor. She noticed Natalie's gaze at them.
     "Don't worry. I'll take them with me when I leave. Okay?"
     Natalie nodded reassured. She flexed her arm muscles and tried to get
into a more comfortable position, but using her wrists hurt too much. She
set
the bed into a much more upright position.
     "Can I help?"
     Natalie hated asking for help, but she did want to be comfortable,
especially if the interview was to continue.
     "Can you fix my pillow up a little higher?"
     "Sure." Amanda helped Natalie get comfortable then pulled over the
chair
to continue their discussion.
     "Thanks. There is someone I'd like to get closer to, and I know he'd
like it too. The problem is his father. He mentally and physically abused
him
all his life, and continues to do so, mostly mentally now." Natalie looked
down at her hands. "I was also abused as a child by my grandmother. She
helped take care of my little brother and myself after mom grew really
sick."
     "Did you tell anyone about this?"
     "No. Who was going to believe a little kid? She didn't always hurt me.
I
don't know why she started doing it. Even after she started, we still had
some good times together. She'd tell my mom I was too headstrong and needed
discipline. Yet, at home I wasn't considered either of those," Natalie
chuckled. "That stubbornness was what got me where I am today. It helped me
look after my brother as we grew up."
     "Sounds like you were a bright, energetic, curious child."
     "I was. I was the little girl in jeans studying a bug or inside reading
a book."
     "Did anyone ever find out about the abuse?"
     "Yes. Mom and dad noticed changes in my behavior, but not good ones.
I'd
be afraid whenever I made a mistake. They noticed how I didn't want to go
back to Nana's when I used to love going there. Dad did ask me once, but I
couldn't tell him. How does a five year old say that her grandma hits her?
How does she tell her dad that his mom does it?"
     "It is hard. So, what happened?"
     "Dad realized that something wasn't right because he skipped work that
morning and checked up on us without anyone seeing him. He told me that when
he saw me crying, looking so scared he wanted to rush in and comfort me but
knew he had to find out what was really going on. He knew he had to go to
work for at least part of the day because he was facing a major deadline and
still had a lot to do. He took off early and saw Nana slap me across the
face
because I dropped some cookie batter on the floor. A couple minutes later
the
doorbell rang and it was dad taking me and Richie home. We never went back
to
Nana's without mom and dad present."
     Natalie couldn't believe how much she was opening up to this stranger,
but at the same time it felt good to have someone to talk to. Someone
impartial.
     "Did you talk about it then?"
     "Yes. Mom called me into her room and she and dad questioned me. They
told me no one would get in trouble. I told them what happened. They spent
more time with me afterwards, probably trying to undo what Nana had done to
me. They were good parents. Dad spent as much time with us as he could
between work and helping take care of mom. Mom and I spent a lot of time
together. They felt bad for what happened, for not listening to me when I
tried to tell them about it without actually coming out and saying Nana hits
me. I remember going to work with dad one day. And the next day I stayed
home
with mom. After that I generally stayed home with mom and her helper. Richie
stayed with a neighbor because he was too little and needed too much
attention. Mom and dad encouraged us in whatever we wanted to do. After mom
died dad kept encouraging us. He lived long enough to see me graduate from
medical school, and to see Richie excelling in his first year at law school.
     "Did you ever resolve things between you and your grandmother?"
     "Not face to face. When I was a teen she was dying and I refused to go
see her. That's when dad told me about how he'd discovered she was abusing
me. He told me how angry it made him and how he'd told his mother off. He
apologized for not believing me when I'd tried to tell him, for the
suffering
I'd endured. I told him it was okay because he had believed me once I told
him and had protected me from further harm. And had tried to help me heal
from it. He knew I had never held it against him, but I guess he needed to
hear it."
     "And now it's time for the tough questions," Amanda said.
     "Why did I try to kill myself and do I have a drug addiction, right?"
Natalie saw Amanda nod. "I didn't try to kill myself and I don't have a drug
addiction. I was tired after a long shift so I picked up some take out and
went home. I changed into something more comfortable and ate while watching
TV. I remember getting sleepy and probably dozed off on the couch. The next
thing I know I'm here. And you probably don't believe me. I think suicide is
the easy way out, the cowards way out. Ask anyone who knows me, especially
Nick. It is not the answer. As for the drugs, I haven't taken any since my
last bout with the flu last winter. And you probably don't believe me about
that either."
     Amanda wasn't sure what to believe. She did believe her patient was
telling the truth, but the facts told her otherwise. She knew had she not
talked with Natalie first she might've been seriously tempted to believe she
had indeed tried to take her own life and was a drug addict. The fact that
the woman in front of her was intelligent, coherent and did not show any of
the danger signs. She was not depressed, she did not hate her life, or have
any obvious emotional problems, outside of the ones most of the public had,
ones relating to daily life.
     "I do believe you. The facts are what trouble me. Especially since
there
is a pretty recent scar on each wrist. And the most recent injury was
skillfully done, and without any hesitation cuts. And the fact that they
found Phenobarbital in your bloodstream doesn't help your case. Especially
since you don't have seizures. But on the other hand, you haven't shown any
signs of withdrawal, which as you know an addict would be showing. And I
know
that statistically most doctors overdose when they attempt suicide."
     "I'd have trouble believing my story. How can I expect any one else to.
I think Nick's the only one who does truly believe me."
     "Would you mind me talking to your friends?"
     "Not at all," Natalie said. She saw no reason it would be a problem.
"Do
I have to stay the full seventy-two hours?"
     "Yes. I think you need the break. And I want to talk with you a bit
more. Maybe have you participate in a group discussion. No, I don't think
you're crazy. Just a little overworked and maybe a little stressed out. But
that describes most of us, doesn't it?" She said with a little chuckle. "And
I suspect that you'll follow your doctor's orders better here than at home."
     "Damn," Natalie said. The therapist knew her too well.
     "I've treated quite a few doctors, cops, and others in high stress,
heavy workload occupations. I know that you all tend to rush back to work
before you should. That you think you're fine when you're not. That you
think
you have to be perfect and strong all the time."
     "I never said I had to be perfect. I don't think I've ever been that.
Brilliant once or twice," Natalie joked.
     "Laughter and the ability to joke is a very good sign. I think you'll
be
fine. Try to take a little time each day for yourself, even if it's just
indulging in a few pages of a good book, and I don't mean a journal or
technical book. And I'd recommend a daily dose of dark chocolate, if you're
not diabetic or hypoglycemic."
     "I'm not and that's one prescription I've already given myself."
     Amanda laughed. "Another chocoholic?"
     "Yes," Natalie said with a big smile.
     "I have to go now, but I'll stop by again before you leave. It was nice
talking to you."
     "The same here. I didn't think I'd like it, but I actually did."
     "Everyone needs to talk sometimes, even those of us in the mental
health
field."
     "I guess you're right."
     Amanda disconnected the restraints from the bed and saw Natalie's
relief
as she did so. She couldn't blame her as she'd hate to wake up restrained.
She remembered when that had happened during her training, as part of it. It
had been frightening and uncomfortable, and she knew it was coming. She knew
it had to be even more terrifying when you're not expecting it.

to be continued...

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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Subject: [NNFic] Scars of the Heart 10/21
Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2003 23:44:10 EST
From: danaknight@aol.com
To: darknn@yahoogroups.com, NNFic@yahoogroups.com, NNPack@yahoogroups.com

You must see to be continued to have it all. Please send all comments to
DanaKnight@aol.com. Sorry for the delay, but I've been sick and am finally
feeling a bit better.

Scars of the Heart pt 10

     About four hours later Peter was finished with his forensic examination
of Natalie's apartment and approached Nick.
     "I found this envelope. What do you want me to do with it?" He showed
Nick the bagged envelope. It was addressed to Nick, Grace and Schanke.
     "Do you have a spare pair?"
     Peter pulled a pair of gloves out of his bag and handed them to Nick.
     "Thanks. Nick took bag and carefully opened it. He read the contents
silently to himself.
     'Nick, Grace, Schanke, I'm sorry but I couldn't go on any longer.
Things
were just too much for me to take. Love, Natalie'
     "I'll take this," Nick said as he tucked it back into it's evidence bag
and sealed it. He tucked it into his jacket pocket.
     "Okay. Was it a suicide note?"
     "No. It was just some tickets for us that she didn't want to forget to
bring to work." Nick hated lying, but knew it was better than the truth.
"Don't list this as a suicide attempt, list it as an assault, or an
attempted
murder," Nick said.
     "No problem."
     "How are you doing?" Nick asked.
     "I'm done here. I'll take the stuff back to the lab and test it. What
name do you want me to put on the file?"
     Nick thought about it a moment. "Lisa Williams." He wanted a plain
name,
one that wouldn't draw undue attention to itself, and hoped the one he had
chosen fit that category. "Can you fudge the address?"
     "Sure. How does 303 Wood street sound?"
     "Good. Thanks." Nick hoped that was all the info that would identify
Lisa as Natalie. "If you stumble across anything else..."
     "I'll change it." He wondered why Nick was disguising the file but
didn't ask, knowing he most likely wouldn't get the truth. He knew there had
to be a very good reason for it and that was good enough for him, at least
for the time being.
     "Thanks," Nick said.
     Nick walked Peter down to his car, locking the door as they left.
     "I have one more bit of evidence for you," Nick said as he pulled the
bag containing Natalie's clothes from his trunk.
     "Her clothes?"
     "Yes. Maybe they'll provide a clue."
     "Let's hope so."
     Peter drove off and Nick headed for the loft to feed.

     Natalie was tired of being in her room and decide to take a walk. She
checked her closet and noticed only a robe there. She had hoped to find some
real clothing. She slipped into the robe, realizing it would be quite
difficult to tie so she just let it be.
     She left her room and started down the hall.
     <Why should I stay here?> she wondered, knowing how easy it would be to
slip out. All she had to do was get to the doctor or nurse's lounge, grab a
pair of scrubs and change. Then she could just walk out any door. She
figured
she could probably even sign her own discharge papers.
     She made it to the lounge without being spotted and ducked in, relieved
to see it was empty. She looked around until she found a clean pair of
scrubs. She grabbed the right size top and bottoms and stuck them under her
robe, holding them in place with her arm.
     She headed back to her room to change, knowing it was the safest place
to do so.
     She had almost reached her room when she heard a familiar voice.
     "You're looking better today," Schanke said.
     "I feel better."
     Schanke noticed she did seem to look a little more relaxed, a little
more at peace.
     "I'm glad. You had everyone worried. Why would you..."
     "I'm sorry I worried everyone. I didn't." She knew he would not believe
h