After reading a variety of descriptions of what happens when our favorite blood suckers 'vamp out', this appeared.  (What can I say, I was driving at the time.)

THE VAMPIRE AS PUBLIC SERVANT

(all choking noises directed to susang@vitinc.com)

Vampires eyes, I've heard it said,
Are amber, green, or sometimes red
(Which color, though, is really true
Depends upon your TV hue).
What public servants they could be
If vampire eyes could shine ALL THREE .  . . 

To think of costs that we could save
In traffic lights beyond the grave;
There'd be no large electric bill
For light or energy, but still  .  .  .
The flashing red of vampire eyes
Might cause some motorists surprise.

So, accidents might well decline
If vampire traffic kept in line 
And motorists knew the undead
Had penalties for running red.
A paltry wage would be their right--
A nip, a slurp, a sudden bite,
With taxes taken out, of course--
The laws of traffic they'd enforce.

We'd start with rural roads, at first
(They'd fill a minor vampire thirst),
Then move to streets and motorways
(Where current lights could work the days).
Till all vampires would be employed;
Their unions would be overjoyed!

A trial run might be the thing
To test this civil servant ring.
But should you hold this dream defective,
We've started with . . . a vamp detective!

(Sorry.  It's Monday.)